A/N: I can't help it, I really like these stories. I know it's cliché, but it's so ... funny! There's so much potential for so many great situations! It's fabulous! If I use enough exclamation points you'll believe me!
In Draco's humble opinion, Potions class should be outlawed, permanently. At least, they should never let idiots like Crabbe and Goyle take it. Those two morons, with the help of that uber moron Weasley, were the reason he was in his current predicament. Two stems of bardoll, not three! He'd been shouting that for the past half hour, but it didn't really seem to be doing any good. Still, it made him feel better. Snape was livid, but amazingly was livid with him, not with the morons whose fault this was. Snape was such a bastard. I mean, he loved Snape, loved him more than he did his own father (there were some things he had his suspicions about in that department) but sometimes Snape just rubbed him the wrong way. Like, when he yelled at Draco for things that were clearly not his fault. Like being stuck to Harry Potter. It was not his fault. It was Crabbe, and Goyle, and Weasley, and three sticks of bardoll.
Another thing, it was entirely not his fault that there was no reversal to this potion. No current reversal, he told himself. He was confident that Snape would be able to concoct one eventually. After all, he wouldn't leave his godson attached to Harry Potter's hip now would he? He couldn't. It was incredibly awkward to walk this way. Funnily enough, Snape had seemed more sympathetic to Potter's plight than his own. He'd had a stiff wanky for that Potter since scarface had gone and blown up the Dark Lord anyway. Stupid Potter. Stupid Snape. Stupid gross images of Potter and Snape he'd just conjured for himself.
Gah! They'd been like this for three hours now! Surely someone could do something!
Gah! Harry thought, they'd been like this for hours! Surely there was something someone could do!
They could not, he repeated to himself, could not leave him attached to Draco Malfoy—at the hip no less. They were walking like a three-legged donkey uphill in the snow. And Malfoy wouldn't stop muttering to himself about the bardoll. Honestly, it was just a little mistake. The only reason that it had gotten so out of hand was because Malfoy had jumped up like the little sissy he was and sprayed the potion all over all of them, and then proceeded to bump into him of all people. Why couldn't he have bumped into Crabbe or Goyle? At least they liked him, and wanted to be attached to him. Or even Ron would have been a better choice. Ron could have simply killed him and then hacked the corpse off of himself. But no, it had to be him. He was too nice to kill Malfoy. He was too irritated with him to enjoy being attached to him. Ugh! As if he could ever enjoy being attached to Malfoy! It helped slightly that Ron had gotten attached to Crabbe. At least Harry wasn't alone in this. He could be amused at Ron's plight. And at least, he was attached to Malfoy's hip, not hand-in-hand like Ron and Crabbe. Harry had told Ron that helping people up like that would bite him in the ass someday.