When Chibis Attack!

Part 57: In Which Homage is Paid

Deep in the night, my recurring nightmare… recurs.

It's the one where the basement is flooding, and I'm trapped down there. No matter how hard I try to reach the stairs, I never can.

Oh well, if I'm stuck down here anyway, I might as well turn on the light.


"Mummy! I've found you!"

The 'struggle through black water toward stairs that move away' dream does not usually feature Chibi Kougaiji, but there he is: bravely piloting a cardboard box toward me.

He steps up on the edge of the box, and takes my hand, his cape flourishing in the non-existent breeze.

He flips up his eye patch when he speaks.

"I've sailed the sea of stars wooking for you, Mummy!" he exclaims, then glances down at the sea-worthy box, "… though, weally, dis should be a twain."

"A two-two twain?" This is certainly not the usual, panic-inducing dream. This is quite different, panic-wise.

"Yeff. Still…" He gestures grandly about the conspicuously large box. "Dis is the Galaxy #9 Wegular. De Expwess doesn't wun dis time of night."

Kougaiji helps me aboard, and turns the box toward a distant light.

"You're going sailing?" Inquire, sitting down in the roomy box.

"Oh yeff! Wight after we wescue you."

"We're gonna be pirates!" Goku pokes his head up from between decks. He's wearing a floppy, wide-brimmed hat, and seems even shorter than usual. "Cowboy pirates! In space!"


"Can I come?"

But I can feel myself waking up, no matter how hard I try to stay. The dream fades around the edges, and I barely hear Kougaiji's final words.

"Goodbye, dweams of yoof…"

I feel a little sentimental. Happy, a little, but nostalgic, as I open my eyes and stretch.

"I feel pretty!" Yodels Gojyo, as he streaks through the room, wearing panties on his head and a fig leaf as…

"Woooo!" And, mercifully, he's gone again. The branch of the fig tree follows hastily behind, quick but surreptitious.

Moments later, gunshots.

There had better be coffee.


Though you love anime, you're too young to remember Galaxy Express 999. You're definitely too young to remember Captain Harlock – or as I first watched him in French, Albator. Still, I remember him.

It was Captain Harlock who taught me that a space pirate's boots should have spurs, that all women (even me!) are treacherous space aliens, and that a ship's flag should always flutter, even in space.

Most of all, the Captain taught me two vital truths:

Spacesuits are for wimps. Real men can take a little vacuum, and look cool doing it.

If a spaceship hits a planet nose-first at full speed, it's called ramming, not crashing. And it's the planet that explodes!

Hopefully, Next Time: In less than 6 months!