Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha

Enjoy! It's odd, but I am quite fond of it. This is like the thoughts of the characters. Or you can say something like a diary. 50 bucks on who can guess who this is reading the first sentence. And no it's not InuYasha….


For many years I have been alone. Traveling, distancing me away from humans and demons alike. I found my comforts in animals because they understood me. I am neither. I am half. Besides, who would want a worthless hanyou? Pathetic, half-breed, worthless, names that follow me everyday.

I wanted to become more powerful. I wanted to be more powerful to protect those I care for. I couldn't protect my own mother when she was in danger.

I found a village that possessed the Shikon no Tama. So I, like other demons, tried to gain possession of it. What angered me, frustrated me, was that the miko did not kill me like the others. I did not want her pity. I did not!


I found to grow to some sort of feeling towards her. Her kindness to others, her gentleness, her earthliness all attracted me to her. But I knew I could never be with her, who would want a half demon like myself? She, being a miko the most pure being on this earth, and me, being a hanyou the foulest, dirtiest being on this earth.


We talked, the miko and me, alone. She talked about attracted to me. Me? She was willing to give the Shikon no Tama to me. She was willing to live with me, as a human. Can I do that? I can.


I was pinned to a tree by an arrow. The stung in my heart, was not from the arrow, but the betrayal of the one I loved. My thoughts began to close as I drifted in darkness. I didn't know how long I drifted, until I sensed her aura. My body sought revenge on her and fought my way out. How dare she trick me? She shot me. She tried to kill me. I thought we… When I awoke, I saw a young girl that looked like her. I convinced myself it's another way to deceive me, but it wasn't. Seems like that girl was already dead. My first love's name was Kikyou. Her name was Kagome. She made it quite clear.Did I tell you my name yet? No? My name is InuYasha.


Kagome? Strange, her clothing was different. Skippy looking. I don't know how I managed to convince myself she was Kikyou. Though her eyes, they're different. Her eyes are the lovely shade of the sky. Speaks of stars shine. Kikyou's are the dark shade of tree barks. Kagome's eyes they shine with gentleness, kindness, and innocence. Kikyou's eyes shine with calmness, earthiness, and a tinge of ice. Though I'll never tell Kagome, I am quite fond of her eyes. They're so different, in a good way.

She's so different, naïve, kind, sweet… and annoying. She brings me to life, keeps me on my toes. With Kikyou I couldn't be myself. I was quiet, I was kept down.


STUPID GIRL! She shattered the jewel! Now we have to find the jewel pieces together! I don't see why I have to go with her. She's only going to slow me down. I'll steal the jewel when it is complete. My heart will not soften.


DAMNIT! Why did she cry for me? I don't get it. My damn human blood showed tonight. I thought that would be the last of me. She cried… for me. She is such a strange girl. Why do I have this fuzzy feeling? Why am I now shy to talk to her…?


Damn runt. Stealing MY ramen from me. Pathetic fox. Kagome just HAD to adopt a child. Not a normal child, but an annoying, bratty, clinging, fox child! I knew it wasn't a good idea. There he goes again, snuggling with Kagome in her sleeping bed. Why do I care? Is this jealousy…? Of what! No… just annoyance…. Yes… annoyance… What! Want his name now! His name is Shippou.


Damn Monk. Perverted monk. Wanting our company. Just the thought of him touching my Kagome earns a growl from me. My…? When did I get so possessive? Why would they want to accompany a half-breed like me? They're just stupid. I should disgust the reincarnation of a miko, a monk, and a full-blooded demon child. Why are they not disgusted? They confuse me. By the way, the monk's name is Miroku.


I harmed her, emotionally. I didn't her to go back to her own time. Didn't I tell you? She lives in the future. Every time she goes, I feel as if she isn't coming back, like she took a part of me. She came back, she came back even though I told her not to… I'm glad. Feelings arise within me. Embarrassment. Anger. Fear. Surprise. Trust. And could it possibly… love?


I curse all gods up there. ANOTHER member to our little 'party.' She's a demon exterminator. Before I forget, her name is Sango. She has a little companion; scratch that, transforming, cat demon, Kirara. At least this one isn't perverted. She is freaky. Her boomerang sure looks…. BIG!


Damn him. Damn Sesshomaru, showing up again. I thought brothers were suppose to be loving… I didn't' believe I actually admire that bastard when I was younger. How foolish of me. I remembered. I use to admire his complexion, his strength. I'm hanging around Kagome too much to think that my brother can be loving. Why do I have a feeling that Kagome is attracted to my ears…? I feel my heart quickening. Kikyou. She's near. The evil witch resurrected her. I'm glad, yet sad. Her soul isn't rested. I can't move on… I think I still love her…


Blood. All I saw was blood. Red. Hatred. That's all I saw. It felt like I was torn in half. My demon part wanted to kill everyone in sight. My human part wanted to stop, to protect. The demon half won and killed the demon without the slightest hesitation. Blood. All I wanted to do is roll myself in blood, to kill. All I saw was red. Then a single light came towards me. Was I dead? Kagome… she came towards me. Arms spread as if to hug me. I warn her to go back. I might hurt her or worse, kill her! Of all the things… she sat me. She said THAT word. Half of me annoyed, the other glad. I didn't hurt anyone, but how long will that last…? What if I injure her? I shudder at the very thought.


She... she kissed me... SHE kissed me! Kagome kissed me! Even if I was in my demon form, I felt my heart calm. She kissed me! I'm willing to stay with her. I'm willing to stay a hanyou for her, even if it's a bit longer. But will she be willing to stay with me?


Kagome… No… she saw Kikyou and me. Why does she seem so sad…? It's not like SHE'S jealous of anything. Kagome… Kikyou. Torn between worlds. Torn between people. WHY? I look at Kagome in her room sleeping peacefully. I'm so confused. I love Kikyou! Not Kagome! Right? Right? RIGHT! Not much help from Shippou or Miroku. I don't suppose I could have both of them? Silly thinking. I can have neither of them. I will not bring shame.


Now that I look back, I feel relieved. Mother was right. She told me, my life was going to be meaningful, happy, and full of love. I have a meaning. Kagome is my meaning to continue in life, without her I'd die and I don't know what to do after. She's the air I breathe.Kagome is my happiness. And it's Kagome I love. Kikyou has finally been put to rest after the battle with Naraku. Of course I knew we would win all along. I can never forget Kikyou. I love them both, but Kagome, she stole my heart and held it gently in her hands, even if she doesn't know it. Kikyou stole my heart, held it in her hands, but it was to loose. Our bond was shattered and will never mend, I guess I didn't think of that before.I should have let her go sooner,maybe then we didn't have to suffer so much. But that is in the past, and this is the future and I'm with Kagome.

Kagome loved me for who I am, not what I was, for that I will give her the most precious gift I can ever give, my love for all eternity. Kagome is my life. She changed it. I have friends, I have a meaning. I am able to hold my head up. Children from the village look up to me; families depend of me to protect them… Though this village might think fondly of me, what about the next village? That I do not care, for I have Kagome… Life sure has changed for me, from the lost hanyou to the loved hanyou. I wouldn't change my life for any other. The only thing I wouldn't do is change diapers of our children….


Ok I lied, it was InuYasha, and no you don't get 50 dollars! Well I hope you liked it and tell me what you think? If no one reviews, I'm going to cry… well maybe not. But if no one likes it, I'm going to delete and not start on other people…. I'm so sad… Well hope you enjoyed!

Mieko