Disclaimer: (Sigh) I said it before and I'llsay it once again...I don't own Ninja Turtles.
Due to the talk about drinking, rate is +16. By the way, drinking is bad. Mkay?
Prolong: How It Started
"I'm not going to make it." Michelangelo moaned dramatically from his beach chair. "I'm starving to death." The orange clad turtle got up from his seat, put the back of his right hand to his forehead, and staggered over to the couch where his brothers sat watching T.V. "Everything…going dark. Light…fading…fast." He gave a fake death cough before falling backwards onto the couch, into laps of his brothers'.
"Knock it of Mikey." Raphael grunted as he shoved his little brother's feet off him.
"It's only been an hour since we placed the order." Leonardo said while he pushed off his orange brother's mid-section. "You'll last."
Mike's head follows his body, leaving Donatello's lap vacate. "We may be in the technological age, but some things do take time." The purple clad turtle pointed out.
"I coulda went to the supermarket and be back home with everything we need for movie night by the time their delivery truck shows up." Michelangelo said as he pushed himself onto his knees. "Twice, I might add."
"We're not suppose to leave the lair when Master Splinter is out." Leonardo reminded his little brother. "His orders."
"But we still have to leave the lair to go get the stuff." Michelangelo replied. "And we have to go up top too. Besides, since when do we follow Master Splinter's orders to the fullest?"
"He's gotta point der." Raphael interjected.
Leo opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. A huge grin flashed onto Mike's face because he had just caught his eldest brother in a mistake.
"But we don't have to go too far from the lair and be above ground long." Donatello pointed out. "We won't be in public and we'll have less exposure to humans."
Leonardo points a thumb towards Don. "What he said."
"Bah." Michelangelo waved a hand at his blue and purple brothers. "Donnie just likes having an excuse to go play around with his computer on the Internet."
"It was not an excuse." Donatello retorted. "It's not like I like having to put 'snack binges' on my credit card."
"It's not a 'snack binge'." Michelangelo whined.
Raphael leans forward to look at Don. "What I want to know is how in da shell ya gotta credit card?"
"The company said I had good credit." Donatello answered nonchalantly. "Besides, I can't get things off the Internet without it. Like, for instance, your model cars."
"Model cars?" Leonardo looked over at Raph. "You actually have the patience to do that?"
"Glad I didn't say anything when I broke that Ferrier." Michelangelo said off-handedly.
Raphael jumped up from his seat angrily. "You?" The red clad turtle bellowed as he towered over Mike. "Yer da one who broke my vintage Ferrier?"
Michelangelo starts to back away from his livid brother. "Well…uh…that is…"
"Do ya know how much dat cost me?" Raphael snarled. "Not ta mention all da replacement parts I need for when I broke them trying ta put dat thing tagether? And let's not forget how long it actually took me ta put it tagether." He tried to pounce on Mike, but the young turtle rolled out of the way. Just as he jumped to his feet, a Shell Cell went off.
Michelangelo darts for the kitchen table where the ringing cell was sitting. "I got it, I got it!" He dove for it, snatching it up as he slid along the table and off the other side. "Hello?" The young turtle groaned as he picked himself off the floor. It was the supermarket delivery truck calling to say their order was waiting for them. "Alright!" Mike squealed as he hung up the phone and darted out of the lair, grabbing his trench coat and fedora off the coat rack along the way. "I'll be back with the stuff."
"Not without one of us yer not." Raphael yelled as he ran for the door too. "Trusting ya ta bring back food is like trusting Casey alone in April's store." He also grabbed a coat and hat along the way.
A Few Moments Later
The two trench-coat turtles come back to the lair, each carrying a large cardboard box. Raphael grumbles as he walks over to the kitchen table. "What a bone-head. With his head start, Mr. Shell-fer-brain got ta the delivery truck first and took the order without checking it. By the time I get der, da delivery guy had already left." He put his box down with a thud. Glass banging against each other rang throughout the lair. "Now we're stuck with someone else's order."
"I didn't think they'd get it wrong." Michelangelo said in his own defense. "They're supposed to be professionals." He put his box down next to Raph's. "Maybe these people ordered something better than we did."
"Well…let's see what we got here." Leonardo murmured. While the red and orange turtles put their stuff back on the coat rack, the blue and purple turtles emptied the boxes.
"I don't think there's anything here we can use." Donatello surmised as he and his brothers looked at the spread before them. From one end of the table to the other, the order went like this: beer, fruity wine coolers, Jager, brandy, tequila, and strawberry margarita mix.
"What are ya talking about?" Raphael asked. "What about all dis?"
"Raph, you can't be serious." Donatello answered.
What's da harm with a little experimenting?" Raphael asked. "I mean, it's right here in front of us and it's free."
"Are you out of your shelling mind?" Leonardo exclaimed. "There is no way Master Splinter would let us drink any of this."
"But he ain't around and won't be for another day or so." Raphael replied. "Let's live a little." He turned to his other brothers. "What do what do ya'll say?"
"Well…" Donatello rubbed his chin. "I always wanted to see why taking in copious amounts of alcohol was so fascinating to humans."
"Can we have dat again?" Raphael asked. "In English?"
Donatello rolls his eyes. "I want to know why humans like to drink so much."
"So would I." Michelangelo said with a nod. "They're always showing humans have so much fun when they drink in those commercials."
"Curious or not, we really shouldn't to this." Leonardo said with a persistence tone in his voice.
"Let's have a vote." Raphael ordered. "All in favor trying dis stuff out say 'aye.'" Three 'ayes' were said in unison. "Against." Leo's lone 'nah' echoed the lair. "The ayes have it." The red clad turtle announced. He rubbed his hands together and licked his lips. "So what should we try first?"
"Why don't we just start at one end of the table and work our way down?" Michelangelo suggested.
"Fer once Mikey, ya actually had a good idea." Raphael congratulated.
"I've had good ideas before." Michelangelo replied defensively as he grabbed a can of beer and pulled it free from the plastic rings that attached the six-pack together. After passing a can over to Don, he pulls another one for Raph, and then one more for himself.
"Guys, I really think this is a bad idea here." Leonardo declared.
"Don't be such a wuss Leo." Raphael held his can of beer out to his elder brother. "Here, join da fun dat's is about to begin." Leo stared at the can. "Come on, it's not going ta bite chya." Raph wave the can temptingly in front of his brother. "Ya know ya really want ta try, dontchya?"
Leonardo gulps hard. "Well…" Slowly the blue clad turtle reaches for the can of beer. "Maybe a little experimenting wouldn't hurt." Before he could actually grasp the can, Raph shoved it into his hand.
"Of course not." The red clad turtle chuckled. He snatched Mike's can of beer. "Glad ya could join the fun." Miffed, Mike pulled himself another can of beer.
All four turtles crack open their cans and take a curiosity sniff.
"The smell isn't too inviting." Leonardo commented. "So…who wants to take the first sip?" He looked nervously at his brothers.
Right away Michelangelo points at his red clad brother. "Why not Raphie?" He suggested.
"Me? Why not Leo?" Raphael asked. "He's da oldest."
"Because I'm not the one who was so hopped up on experimenting." Leonardo replied.
"How about all of us at once?" Donatello suggested. His brothers looked at each other before looking back at him and nodded in agreement.
As they brought their cans to their lips, the four turtles took a deep breath for courage.
"Wait!" Michelangelo suddenly squealed.
"Don't tell me ya decided ta chicken out now." Raphael teased.
"No." Michelangelo replied snottily. "I just remembered something I saw on T.V. about drinking. They say you're not suppose to drink on an empty stomach."
Donatello nodded in agreement. "I remember hearing something like that. They say you're supposed to eat bread and drink milk. It'll absorb the alcohol so you don't get drunk as fast or ill."
"But how much bread do we eat and how much milk do we drink?" Leonardo asked.
"I don't know." Donatello replied with a shrug.
Raphael puts his can of beer down on the table and goes into the refrigerator. "We have two loaves of bread and a gallon of milk." He said as he pull the stuff out.
"I would say we our best bet is to eat half a loaf of bread and drink a quart of milk each." Leonardo ordered.
Because they were eager to try the drinks out, the four turtles wolfed down their half loaf and took turns downing their quart of milk. When that was done, they took their cans of beer up in their hands again and brought it up to their lips.
"Let's do dis." Raphael said excitedly.
"Over the lips and past the tongue, look out stomach cause here it comes." Michelangelo said jokingly before everyone took a large gulp.
A/N: In writing up a chapter for another story, I got this idea stuck in my head.
Thanks for reading, until next time.