Title: Heaven Needed an Angel
Disclaimer: FAKE is the creation of Sanami Matoh, therefore she owns them, not me.
Rating: R (Just to be safe)
Pairing: Dee x Ryo x Dee
Content: Angst/ Character Death/ Language
Summary: When someone close to Dee is viciously attacked and loses their hold on life, Dee loses his ability to cope.
A/N: I am going with Chestnut brown hair for Ryo and very dark brown for Dee, which I believe is the hair coloring Matoh intended for those two, according to the stats I have seen on them. I am unsure about Ted, so I'm making him a redhead. Also, since no last name is ever given for Ted, I have given him one, Ted Conway.
"D-Dee, I thought you might like something to eat." Ryo carried the tray into the bedroom and sat it down on the bed. "If you can manage it, you really should try to eat a little something." The chestnut haired man winced when his lover turned away from the window to look at him. Dee's eyes were red and swollen, his face was pale and when Dee spoke his voice held none of the strength Ryo had grown so accustomed to.
"Thanks but I'm not hungry right now. Maybe later, alright?" It was clear that the tragic events of the past week had taken their toll on the tough detective, in many ways. What Ryo saw before him was a man who seemed so lost that it almost made him want to cry as well.
"Dee, you've barely eaten a thing all week. At this rate you're going to make yourself sick. Please try to eat or you'll wind up in the hospital before you know it." Concerned about his lover's health and state of mind, Ryo knew that he had to do whatever it took to snap the younger man out of the funk he was in before it was too late.
"Ryo, don't lecture me okay? I really don't need that right now." Dee held up his hand to halt his lover's forward motion toward him. "Don't..." Turning his head back to the window, Dee closed his eyes and sighed.
"Dee..." Ryo froze in his spot and watched his lover. He knew that it was futile to argue with Dee, especially when his lover was like this.
"Just leave me alone. I really don't want any company at the moment. I'm sorry but I just want to be alone right now." From where he sat, Dee could see Ryo's reflection in window and how his body seemed to stiffen suddenly. He hated hurting Ryo in this way but at that precise moment, he just didn't care. "Please Ryo... Go away." The request was made without any emotions whatsoever, making it even harder for Ryo to hear.
"Alright, I'll leave you alone... For now." Ryo spoke softly. "You know she wouldn't want you doing this to yourself. She'd want you to move on and not waste away mourning her death." Turning to leave, Ryo glanced back over his shoulder at Dee, wishing there was more he could do to ease his lover's sorrow. "Try to eat, okay? That's all I ask." He left without saying another word, closing the door behind him as he stepped out into the hallway. Ryo knew that if he said anything else it would only make matters worse for both of them.
Ryo stood outside the bedroom door and listened as the muffled sobs from within the room reached his ears. Dee's tears never failed to tear Ryo's heart to shreds, especially since they were so rare. Dee usually hid such emotions from him, afraid to let go of his 'tough guy' reputation and despite being lovers for over five years, Dee still refused to let the chestnut haired man see him cry.
The only time Dee had let his guard down was that night at the hospital. He had been too overcome with grief over her passing to care who saw him breakdown. Still, even though Ryo had been allowed to witness his lover in a moment of weakness, the tears Dee had cried were silent ones. Even in his weakest hour he had held onto a large part of his dignity, refusing to allow the full impact of his sorrow to be seen by anyone.
Wiping his own tears away, Ryo wanted nothing more than to rush back into the bedroom and hold his lover close. He wanted to hear those tears and share their grief but he knew Dee wouldn't let him, no matter how badly Ryo wanted it or Dee needed it.
Taking a deep breath, Ryo finally moved away from the door and the sound of his lover's pain. He paused briefly at the door to Bikky's room, listening for any sounds that would indicate that his young charge was still awake.
'At least you're able to sleep tonight.'
Laying his hand flat against the door, Ryo stared at the painted surface for a moment before moving on. The older detective then began his nightly ritual. It was a ritual he had started on the night his lover's world was torn apart. On that night a cloud of sorrow had settled in over them and now Ryo was wondering if happiness would ever return to their lives.
Walking into the kitchen, Ryo turned on the teakettle before slumping down into a chair. Looking to the ceiling, he wondered if she knew how much her death was affecting them all, especially Dee.
'If you can reach him please do it because I don't think I can. I've tried, I really have but he won't let me get close enough. I can't do this alone. I need your help.'
Dee had waited until he was alone once again before he allowed his tears back out. He let them fall even though he knew that the man he loved was standing on the other side of the closed door, just as he did every night for the past week.
'I know he's right. She wouldn't want me mourning her like this. I can't help it though. It's my fault that she's gone in the first place. If I hadn't have been so damn selfish... If I had just gone to see her like she had asked me to then maybe she would still be alive and I wouldn't be missing her so much. I may not have been the one who killed her but my hands are still stained with her blood.'
Lowering his head, Dee found himself overcome with grief once again. The guilt that had settled into his heart was just too heavy to keep inside. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me... I'm so sorry." Dee covered his face with his hands and cried.
She was gone and nothing he did or said was going to change that. He had failed her and for that very reason he could never forgive himself.