Trinity and Then Some by Djinn
"Is there a reason we're here, Clark?" Lois looked around the deserted planet. It was quite pretty, nice warm sun, a little breeze going that blew her hair away from her face. But she was wearing a re-breather and so was Clark. Given that, the blanket she carried and the rather heavily laden picnic basket he was toting seemed out of place.
"Remember when I mentioned that I knew a place where we could really relax?" He had his super snake-oil salesman voice going.
She began to dig through the picnic basket. Why had he packed so many vanilla sandwich cream cookies? "Yeah."
"You thought it sounded nice. A place where we could just let go and be whatever we wanted, do whatever we wanted..."
"Is this about some secret fantasy of yours?"
He got very quiet.
"Clark, you bad, bad boy." She laughed. "So why the re-breather? It's going to put a damper on our fun."
"Exactly. It's keeping us from ummm letting our hair down."
She moved closer, pushing him to the ground. Running her hands through his hair, she whispered, "Your hair's too short to let down."
"So to speak." He smiled. "If you take the mask off me, we could get a head start."
She pulled back. "A head start on whom?" She rolled her eyes when he started to make up what she saw was going to be a whopper of a diversion--he never actually lied to her. "We're double dating with them, aren't we?"
"Well, that's how it's billed."
She sat back. "Just how relaxed is this planet going to make me?"
"Really...really...really relaxed." He started to laugh. "You were the one who said you thought Bruce was so hot."
"I didn't say I wanted to jump his bones."
"Well, no. Because a person doesn't say that to their husband." He grinned. "You also said you thought Diana was gorgeous."
"I think your mother's rosebush is gorgeous too. That doesn't mean I want to screw it."
He pulled her down. "No one said anything about screwing."
"You three have been here before, haven't you?"
He blushed about three shades darker than his mother's roses.
"Nothing." It took him a long time to say that. When she glared, he said, "Well, maybe we got really, really--"
"--Relaxed. Yeah I got that part, darling." She let her old Lois voice carry a whole lot of sarcasm into the endearment.
He winced. "Bruce and I may have kissed."
"You and Bruce?" Not the answer she'd been expecting. "And you and Diana?"
"Are just friends." He said it as if it was a stock answer. Then he gave her his "I'm in so much trouble, but I'm so darned cute" grin.
"It won't work, Smallville."
"We can go. I can get us back to Earth before they even leave." But his face fell and she felt like an ogre taking candy away from a child.
"Will I regret it if I don't say that you should take us back home?"
He thought about that. "The air is like a drug here. It's easy to rationalize whatever happens."
She wasn't entirely sure she liked that answer.
He dug into the picnic basket, pulling out a plastic bottle. "I have the antidote if it gets too weird."
"You're freakin' superheroes, Clark. What are the odds that it won't get too weird?"
He winced again. "Maybe we should go."
She touched the bottle. "If I took this now, what would happen?"
"You'd be immune to the planet's effects."
She put the bottle back.
"It's not really a drug, is it? It just loosens inhibitions." She lay back on the blanket, looking over at him.
Reaching for his mask, she gently removed it, then pulled her own off. "I hope to hell I don't regret this, Clark."
He watched her, his expression saying that he hoped that too. Then his look changed, became a little dreamy.
She could feel herself relaxing, actually sinking into the grass as if she could finally take a load off. She hadn't felt this mellow since she was a kid. "Mmm, nice."
"I love you. More than anything."
She moved closer. "More than Bruce and Diana."
He nodded solemnly.
She plucked a long piece of grass, began to tickle his nose with it. "Swear?"
"I swear." He batted at the grass, not trying terribly hard because he missed it every time. "But I like them a lot."
"I know you do." She could feel words about to come out that she didn't want to say. Words like, "I'm jealous of them."
"You're so close to them."
"I love them." He pulled her close, sneezing when the unexpected move sent the grass up his nose.
She pulled it out. "That's why I'm jealous of them." She frowned. "Clark, this is like X-stasy. I'm going to be all honest and emotional with them. You know I hate that."
He laughed. "Bruce isn't real big on it either." He pulled her even closer, began to kiss his way down her neck into her shirt. "While we're waiting..."
She forgot all about waiting, and they managed to tip over the picnic basket and get half rolled up in the blanket when Bruce and Diana arrived. They had re-breathers on but with a look at each other, they took them off.
Lois thought she heard Bruce mutter, "He better not kiss me first."
She tried to sit up, but Clark or the blanket held her down. "You," she said to Bruce, mustering as much dignity as a half-dressed woman stuck in a blanket can, "are not fooling me for a moment, Buster."
Bruce sat down, very quickly. His expression was turning dreamy. Diana followed him, sitting close, playing with his utility belt.
"Did you take out the Kryptonite?" Clark asked, eying the special "Get rid of Superman" compartment warily.
"Nope." Bruce smiled--a mean expression.
"It won't be any fun if Kal dies." Diana was having trouble getting one of the compartments open.
Lois managed to free herself from the blanket and moved over to where Diana was working. "Let me."
As she hit a combination of hidden switches, both Diana and Clark began to frown. "Lucky guess?" she said, trying not to look at Bruce.
"Something you two want to tell us?" Clark asked, sitting up.
"Nope." Bruce looked like he was going to giggle. "You're just jealous because I wouldn't show you what's in my belt."
"I've seen what's in your belt. I've seen it plenty of times." Clark seemed to realize what he was saying just as Bruce caught the drift and shot him a violated look.
"Super-vision is a boy's best friend," Lois said, as she closed the belt compartment and opened it again just to piss Diana off.
"I told you this wouldn't work," Bruce muttered. "Two's company. Three's interesting. Four's overload."
Lois jerked her fingers off his belt. "Sorry to spoil your fun, Batjerk."
"You thought that was funny? Batjerk?" Bruce turned away.
"Lois has fire," Diana said softly, moving closer to her. "You don't like me, do you?"
Lois borrowed a page from Batman's book. "Nope."
"I don't like you either."
"Good." Lois blinked. They were lying so close. She felt as if she was drowning in Diana's blue eyes. "I'm never going to like you."
"Likewise." They were nose to nose.
Out of the corner of her eye, Lois could see both Clark and Bruce lean forward.
"We're turning them on, you realize. They think we're going to kiss."
Diana smiled. The sun off her white, white teeth was almost blinding. "They are only men. What else can you expect from them?" She studied Lois. "You have freckles...right...here." She touched the bridge of Lois's nose.
"I think they're cute." Diana edged closer.
"I still don't like you," Lois said, as she pulled Diana to her and planted a big, wet one on her.
Diana gave as good as she got.
They fell back, coming to rest against the picnic basket. Lois smelled strawberries and peaches as she crushed a bag of fruit under her shoulder.
"Girls?" Clark was so 1950's.
"Diana? Sweetheart?" Bruce had made it to the 90's at least. "We have cookies..."
Lois felt Diana hesitate, then she went back to kissing her. And her hand was traveling south in the most amazing way.
"What now, Brillianto?" Bruce sounded very put out.
"Don't pout. I hate it when you pout."
"I'm not pouting, Clark. You pout, I brood."
"I don't pout."
"You're pouting right now. Isn't he pouting, ladies?"
They took a quick break to glance over at Clark. "Looks like a pout to me," Lois said. She turned to Diana. "What do you think, you heinous witch?"
Diana nodded. "Yes. He's pouting. Come here, you."
Lois sighed happily as her worst nightmare French-kissed her for all she was worth.
"Now, you are pouting, Bruce." Clark's voice grew softer, as if he was moving away from them and toward Bruce.
Then it got very quiet except for some low, happy sounds not unlike what she and Diana were making. Lois realized Diana had managed to get them both naked while she was kissing her. Amazon know-how was cool.
"They look pretty, don't they?" Diana said softly, letting up enough so that Lois could glance over at Clark and Bruce. They did look pretty together.
Diana studied her. "I have always admired you."
"Yeah, right. You've always admired what I had."
"No. I wanted what you had." Diana's smile was without remorse. Nothing like a little relaxo-air to make a gal honest. "But I admired you. Your spirit, your beauty. Your fashion sense."
"I do have good clothes." Lois giggled as Diana let her fingers tickle down her belly. "You, on the other hand, have to wear that Miss America strapless bathing suit and pretend you don't feel silly."
"I didn't design it."
"Points for you. Don't your boobs hurt from being made to defy gravity that way?"
Diana sat up for a moment. Her boobs defied gravity even with no visible means of support.
"Oh," Lois said. "Damn, that's unfair. Are they fake?"
Diana laughed softly. "I'm fake."
"Yours fall to the side when you lie down." Diana was playing with them, pushing them up, then letting them fall back.
Clark and Bruce came up for air.
"They are in deep denial over their feelings for each other," Diana said sagely. Then she rolled onto her back. "I love this planet."
There was an awful lot of the Amazon lying in front of Lois's eyes. It was too much to resist. "I still don't like you. Really, really don't like you." She let herself explore Diana's body, the way she and her college roommate had started to do that time they'd done all that pot and stayed up watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show. "Do you know the Time Warp?"
"It's just a jump to the left," Bruce said, surprising her as he wrestled away from Clark and leapt to his feet. "And then a step to the rii-iii-iii-iii-ight." He was jumping and so were parts of him that Lois had not seen in a very long time.
"With your hands on your hips," she said, pushing away from Diana and climbing to her feet. "You pull your knees in tight."
Bruce managed to move closer to her. Clark reached out, dragging Diana out of their way and into his arms.
"But it's the pelvic thru-uh-uh-ust." She moved her hips toward his.
His hips met hers. Never let it be said that the Batman wasn't one limber devil. "That really drives you"--he pulled her up, began his own pelvic thrust--"insa-aa-aaa-aaa-aaane."
She wrapped her legs around him, suddenly realized she was cheating on Clark. But did it count when Clark was watching? When he was smiling at her as she had Time Warp sex with his best friend?
Clark sang softly, "Let's do the Time Warp again." Then he pulled Diana on top of him, and Lois watched him cheat on her, wondering why she wasn't more upset.
She looked at Bruce. "This is weird."
"Yes, it is." He was watching Clark and Diana with a bemused expression on his face. "I should be mad."
"I know." She wiggled, reminding him that their lovers weren't the only ones having fun here.
"I should be so mad that I grab her off him and storm out."
"After taking the antidote."
"Right. Good point."
"Will we be mad once we get off this planet?"
He hefted her up slightly then let her slide back down with a happy moan. "I think probably we will."
"Will we come back to this planet?"
"I think probably--"
"--we will." She shook her head. "This is bad, Bruce."
But he didn't answer her, just pulled her to him and kissed her. It was nice. Kissing him was nice. Kissing Diana was nice. Kissing Clark was nice. Hell, kissing the picnic basket would probably be nice here.
That was undoubtedly not a good thing.
When they finally finished, both of them panting, Bruce let her down.
Clark and Diana were watching them.
"Can I have my wife back, Bruce?" Clark kissed Diana slowly, then let her go. He reached up to Lois, his smile serene.
Lois took his hand, let him pull her down. "This is bad, Clark."
"Yep." He cuddled her close, kissing her gently.
"I don't want to double date again."
"Me either," Bruce said.
"If you're sure," Clark said, his tone fully supportive of whatever she wanted.
Diana had her eyes closed, was stretched out in Bruce's arms with a dreamy look on her face. "How's next Saturday for everyone?" she asked.
"Works for me," Bruce said.
Clark looked down at Lois, not answering.
She stared up at the sky, felt the breeze cool her as the sun beat down on her naked flesh. "I'll clear my schedule." She looked over at Diana, saw the other woman watching her. "I still don't like you."
Diana ignored her. "Peel me a cookie?" she said to Bruce, her tone just shy of Cleopatra come hither.
"Oh, brother," Lois said.
"Wait, he's really going to do it," Clark whispered.
"You are so whipped," Lois muttered.
"Have you been talking to Nightwing?" Bruce peeled another cookie and tossed it to her.
She felt absurdly touched.
"What about me?" Clark asked.
"Peel your own damn cookies, Clark." Bruce turned back to Diana, but Lois saw that he was grinning.
"What are we?" Lois asked.
"What are we how?" Clark reached over and grabbed a cookie. "Did we bring milk?" he asked her.
She poured him some. "You're the Trinity, you three. What are we four?"
"A quatrain," Diana said, ever the classicist.
"A quartet," Clark said, pretending her boob was a horn.
She giggled. "Bruce?"
He settled back, closing his eyes as Diana played with his hair. "Little Joe."
Lois smiled. Little Joe: a pair of twos in craps. Clark and Diana did not seem to get it. It figured that Lois and Bruce would be the ones up on the gambling terms. She settled back into Clark's arms with a sigh. "Let's not go for Little Phoebe."
"Five is definitely a crowd," Bruce said.
"Definitely." Clark laughed softly. "But if it weren't...who would you--"
"---Clark, shut up." Lois glared at him until he held his hands up.
She looked over at Diana and Bruce. They appeared to be falling asleep.
That was probably the smartest thing they could do. She noticed that Clark didn't glance their way as he rolled to his side, cuddling her close. "Love you, Lois," he murmured in his nearly asleep voice. The voice that never tried to deceive her. A moment later, he was snoring softly.
Not fighting the feeling, she let herself go too. When in Rome and all that.