Hey guys! Well, this is my second fanfic, and it's really just Brooke's thoughts, set around after Don't Take Me for Granted. I'm actually not sure this is any good at all, but this song just really reminded me of Brooke while I was listening to it, so I thought "Why not?"… Review, please? Lol. This is probably going to be a one-shot… or maybe I'll add on with other characters' POVs? It's up to you guys!

DisclaimerYeah, I own absolutely nothing (other than the season one DVDs, which has probably inspired my sudden crying-spree. Oh, poor Brooke!) The song is Dashboard Confessional's "This Old Wound".

Love, Lies and Pride

I've been bleeding well from this old wound

Cleaning it with salt so it will still feel new

And sometimes eyes turn black

And sometimes scars are tracks

But every time you're gone

I wish that you'd come back

She loved pictures, because it was a saved moment in time. This picture was a saved moment where everything in her life was perfect, where she had an awesome best friend and a gorgeous "good guy" boyfriend. If she could live in that picture forever, she would be fine. If her fantasy was reality, she would be fine. If her boyfriend didn't cheat on her with her best friend, she would be fine. But now, as Brooke Davis sat in her bedroom with her newly downsized bed and half her possessions currently residing in other people's homes, she realized that she was far from fine. She wasn't fine when Lucas was with Peyton. She wasn't fine when Lucas was with Nikki, for all of five seconds, but still! She wasn't fine when he moved away, and now, she wasn't fine when Lucas was with Anna. She wasn't fine with the fact that she cared at all.

And everyone watched me waste myself

And all of them found it comforting

It's better its me than them

She remembered her "good old days". Get drunk, hook up, move on. It was so simple, but he made it complicated. And now Felix was trying to do the same thing to her. No one understood, no, it's not that simple. She couldn't just open up to the next hot guy she saw. She couldn't give her heart away when someone else still had it.

I've been fanning flames from these old coals

Feeding them with tender and hoping they will grow

I've been savoring what I can't hold

A blind believe in goodness that doesn't seem to show

She would work at it, because she deserved it. This relationship wasn't about Felix, it was about her. She would take what she could get from him, but it would never be enough. When he looked at her, Brooke didn't feel butterflies. When he touched her, she didn't feel love. But when they were together, she could feel nothing at all.

"And I'm tired of feeling bad! OK? I'd rather feel nothing. It's… better, it's easier."

Brooke hadn't even realized how honest she was being at the sleepover with her friends, but now the words echoed in her head.

And I've been bleeding well from this old wound

Cleaning it with salt so it will still feel new

"Brooke? Don't you wanna fall in love?" Haley had asked her.

Nobody else seemed to realize that she had already been in love. She had been in love, betrayed, lied to, and it nearly killed her. It wasn't an experience she was too anxious to repeat. That's why when she saw Lucas, her new "friend", she crushed the feelings inside her. She ignored the butterflies and the warmth. She pretended she wasn't overjoyed when she found out that he broke up with Anna. She pretended that she really wanted to be with Felix. She pretended that she wasn't in love with her ex-boyfriend. Sure, she could just take Lucas back, she could do it easily. But Brooke Davis had way more freakin pride than that.