A/N- I love the Princess Diaries books and I decided I'd try my hand at a fanfiction for it. So please, constructive criticism only.
"Wait a moment," I said in total disbelief. "What? Just run that whole thing by me again."
"Don't be so vulgar, Amelia," Grandmére sniffed. "You're a princess, so act like one."
"See, uh that's the thing I don't quite understand. I'm a princess?"
My dad gave a huge sigh and rubbed between his eyes. This ticked me off. How dare he act tired when you tell me I'm a freaking PRINCESS! "Mia, look. I know this is a lot for you to take in right now, but—"
"A LOT FOR ME TO TAKE IN!" I shrieked. I finally lost it. I'm only FOURTEEN and the spring the whole, "Hey, your family's royalty, let's celebrate!" bit on my and expect me to be fine with it. Well, I'm sorry, but that's not happening any time soon. "YOU'RE TELLING ME I'M A PRINCESS AFTER FOURTEEN YEARS!"
"No, you listen. In all my fourteen years, you couldn't find the time to say, 'oh, by the way, you're a princess'?"
"Mia, I'm not trying to—"
"You know, I figured that since you're my father I'd be the first to know that you're the Crown Prince of Genovia," I bit sarcastically. "I dunno though, that sounds pretty normal to me."
"AMELIA!" Grandmére yelled in her dangerous voice. "Shut up and listen for once. Perhaps your father has something useful to say, hmm?"
"Mia," my father frowned. "It's a lot to accept, I know. I'm not rushing you to accept it, but you need to know. Since you are a European royal, you will have a bodyguard."
"A BODYGUARD!" I screeched. "As in, a guard for my body?"
"If you want to take it in that context," Dad frowned. "He'll go everywhere you go."
"He has to follow me? EVERYWHERE!"
Talk about a party kill.
"You can't expect us to let you walk around Manhattan alone," He continued. "He starts tomorrow. He'll be with the limo to pick you up tomorrow."
"Hold up. He's following me around SCHOOL?"
"You never know, Mia. We don't want to take any chances."
Great. As if I wasn't enough of a freak. NO ONE at my school has a bodyguard, except Tina. But Wahim isn't that bad.
I'd just never wanna get stuck in a room with him by myself.
I adjusted my shoulder holster, making sure my gun was secure. I had strapped daggers around my ankles and wrists and Swiss Army pocket knife tucked safely away in my black pants pocket.
For my first day on the job, I tried to be inconspicuous; black sweater and pants with a khaki colored trench coat.
I smiled when I remembered the interview from the Genovian Royal family. After I had passed a rigorous character test, they asked me about my background and personality.
Clarisse eyeballed me up and down and asked cheekily, "Now why isn't a handsome boy like you married?"
Ah, the eternal question asks again.
"You're highness, with all of my survival training, I've never really had the time for a committed relationship."
I like to think they hired me for my commitment.
"Mia, your limo's here!" My mother called.
God those words are so weird to hear.
I slipped on my school shoes and grabbed my backpack. I knew I looked like hell, but at that point, I didn't really care.
"See you later, Mom!"
"Bye, sweetie. Have a good day!"
I walked down the flight of stairs, walked out to the curb, then stopped dead in my tracks as a pair of peat bog eyes stared me straight in the face.
"Princess Amelia," My new bodyguard said in a deep, mellifluous voice. "My name is Michael. I'm your bodyguard." He held his hand out.
"Oh, y-you can j-just call me Mia," I squeaked as I shook his hand. He had a wonderful, strong hand.
He smiled and my knees turned to jelly. "Well…Mia, it's time to go to school." He held open the door and gestured to it. "Ladies first."
I felt my face blush a deep crimson as I slid into the supple leather seats.
I knew that princesses were supposed to be pretty, but this…
And the best part is, she doesn't even know she's pretty.
In my personal experience, women fall into four groups: the ugly ones who know they're ugly, the ugly ones who think they're pretty, the pretty ones who know they're pretty and the pretty ones who think they're ugly.
Deep, huh? I should write a book.
I had been told Mia's circumstances, but I didn't know she'd be so uncomfortable with this whole thing. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
When we reached the school, I got out first and opened the door for her. You could tell she was kind of taken aback. Apparently no one's ever done this for her before.
As we got out, a young girl was staring at me with wide eyes. A huge, hulking brown guy was standing behind her.
"Hey. Uh, Tina, this is Michael, my…bodyguard. Michael, this is Tina and her bodyguard, Wahim."
He shook their hands and he and Wahim fell into quickly fell into easy conversation. Tina took me aside and whispered, "Oh my god, Mia, he's so hot!"
"I know!" I replied.
"You're so lucky," She sighed. "I'd die if I had a bodyguard that gorgeous."
We walked into the school and I waved goodbye to Tina and got to my locker.
Unfortunately, I couldn't open it.
I heaved a heavy sigh and cleared my throat. "Uh, excuse me," I said softly.
Of course, Lana and Josh couldn't hear me. They were too busy swapping saliva to listen to a loser like me.
Michael cleared his throat loudly and said, "Excuse me,"
Lana and Josh, startled, pulled apart and glared at me.
I turned bright red and said, "Uh, you're in front of my locker."
They moved, but not without a disgusted, "Ugh…freak," from Lana.
After they walked away, Michael turned to me and asked, "Who are they?"
"Lana and Josh," I replied as I rolled my eyes. "Our school's 'it' couple."
"I take it you don't like them?"
"Well Josh is just about the most beautiful, unattainable guy in this school, so I hate myself more than I hate him."
He frowned and said, "Why should you hate yourself?"
I laughed a humorless laugh and replied, "Because he's going out with Lana, and she's everything I'm not. She's gorgeous, petite, she's a got a great chest—" I realized what I was saying and blushed. "I'm not a lesbian or bi or anything, if that's what you're thinking."
He just gave me a movie star white smile and said, "I never really doubted, but thanks for the information."
I gave him a wobbly smile, but inside I cringed. I incriminated my self for no reason and just came off looking like a total idiot.
She's also a little passive too. And not to mention, she's got some major self-esteem issues.
And she's supposed to rule a country. A small European principality.
But that still doesn't stop her from being adorable.
So she grabbed her books and walked to her first class: Algebra. That same girl that snubbed her earlier was sitting in the front row; right in front of her.
The faculty had been informed of my employment, so the teacher, Mr. Gianini, asked me to remain in the desk in the corner.
The girl from earlier, Lana watched me carefully. I was only too used to these stares from girls all the time; especially from her confident types who think they'll be able to hook me by putting out.
I saw her turn around to talk to Mia. She seemed to have said something insulting cuz Mia blushed and Lana smirked before turning back around.
I felt the strange need to comfort her, or come to her aid. After all, that's what a good bodyguard does, right?
Wait. Why did I feel like this around her? It wasn't just because it was my job. There was some other reason.
Well, whatever that reason was, I still wanted to be her knight in shining armor.
Maybe because she's never had one.
Where's Michael when I need him?
Lana was being a total bitch to me. Again.
"Hey, freak, who the hell is that? I don't understand how a guy as hot as that could possibly be following you." And she turned back around with a smirk.
Then something brilliant came over me and I replied, "There are a lot of things you don't understand, Lana. Don't strain your brain trying to figure this out."
I smiled to myself as I heard her growl.
Maybe I don't need Michael to stand up for me. Maybe I could do it by myself.
Slow down there, Thermopolis. I'm not Wonder Woman yet.
I just shouldn't lean on other people so much.
Now, Michael, on the other hand, I could lean on his shoulder all day.
Mia is a strange girl.
Among the other quirky things I learned about her today, she's also horrible at Algebra, she's really quirky, and she's a vegetarian.
The people in Genovia have probably never seen a princess like that.
Maybe her regime will be remembered by the extreme consumption of tofu and gourmet veggie burgers.
And bad budget handling.
But then again, she's kind and compassionate person. Her people would love her in an instant.
How do I know this?
I consider myself a pretty patient person, but her best friend, Tina, reminds me strongly of the really gay guy from Will & Grace. In other words, he's really, really annoying.
Mia seemed to be able to put up with her though, but with frequent eye-rolling.
She told her about the whole princess deal, and let's just say I'll probably never be able to hear again.
"So what's with the sudden employment of your bodyguard?"
Mia paused for a moment, leaned forward and whispered, "Can you keep a secret?"
She nodded her head vigorously, practically bouncing with anticipation. I had doubts on whether this girl could keep her mouth shut, but all I could do was trust Mia's instincts.
"I'm Genovian Royalty."
Tina paused for a moment, then let out this hideous screech. "Oh my god Mia, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!"
Mia kept trying to shush her, but it was no use.
"HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT TELL ME SOONER!"
"I didn't know till last night. And my family wants me to keep this hush-hush, so—"
"Mia, that is not cool. You have to tell everyone! They'd be so jealous!"
"Tina, I don't WANT anyone to know! It's a nightmare come true, I can't run a country! I can barely run a mile!"
So it's not about the social aggravation. It's about the pressure. Well at least she's got her priorities straight.
"But you could totally get back at Lana for everything she's ever done to you! It would be so cool! And plus, you get the best of everything, like dresses and technology and stuff!"
"Tina, I don't want any of that! I don't want to be in the public eye, I just want to remain invisible for the rest of my pathetic existence."
Wow. She's got really, really bad self-esteem issues.
"Mia, you don't have to be invisible. In fact, now you can't be invisible. You're going to run a country."
"That's the thing, I don't want to! So please, let's just drop this."
Like a good best friend, she respected her wishes and changed the subject.
She underestimates herself way too much. She's better than what she thinks.
A/N- So did you like it? Hmm? If you did, tell me, okay? Cuz otherwise I just don't see any point in continuing this story.