"So, this is meant to help us kill Voldemort?" Harry Potter asked unsurely, shooting a sideways look at Ron.
"Oh, most definitely," Dumbledore replied happily. He was glancing up at the midday sun which was shining brightly over the field they were standing in.
"I supposed it would be stupid to ask how?" Ron commented, looking at Dumbledore's serene expression.
"No. It would in fact be very intelligent Ronald." Dumbledore paused, "Providing you asked Mr Potter, of course."
"Er, Harry, how is this meant to help-"
"I believe it may be that thing," Dumbledore interrupted suddenly. He was pointing to the area of tree fifty yards to their right.
"What? A tree? All this time we've been looking in ancient texts, when really it's leaves Voldemort's frightened of?" Ron asked testily, staring at the trees.
"No, though I'm sure the leaves…" Dumbledore broke off, apparently in deep thought. His eyes were lowered and his mouth appeared to be mouthing words. "No- it's definitely that mechanical device in front of the trees."
Harry and Ron squinted into the mass of trees. Dumbledore strode off a minute later; he was going in the direction of the trees, unsticking a sherbet lemon and humming to himself. He looked highly comical in the hot sun, his full length robes swinging jovially from side to side. Harry and Ron would have laughed if they hadn't known he was a genius.
Clearly any man eating a sherbet lemon and thinking about leaves was wise beyond years. Obviously.
Harry and Ron walked after Dumbledore, rolling up their sleeves as they went. It was swelteringly hot, but Dumbledore didn't seem to be sweating- this surprised neither Harry nor Ron.
"It's a tractor," Harry said matter of factly as they drew closer. "If this is the idea then why don't we just chew some corn and run after Voldemort saying "Oh-arrr.
"No, no," Dumbledore said happily as they drew within a few metres of it. "No, it's this thing specifically."
All this appeared to be lost on Ron; he was staring at the tractor in some doubt, reluctant to touch as they drew up to it. He didn't even bother to ask what it was.
Abruptly, Dumbledore climbed onto the tractor. He was very active a man of… however old he was. He drew out his wand from the depths of his thick robes and touched it to the steering wheel. The engine roared into life and Ron just about fell over in shock. Instead he stood cowered behind Harry. Dumbledore was smiling happily; apparently delighted with the tractor.
"Time me, please," he said to Harry.
And then he turned the steering wheel and drove off up the field. How Dumbledore knew how to drive a tractor was lost on both Ron and Harry. Harry sighed, and started timing from his watch; should he really have been that surprised? The ideas Dumbledore came up with. (No one could quite belief his idea of making Draco Malfoy sit in a cinema for two straight days to get him off the magazines.)
About 45 seconds (and a lap of the field later,) Dumbledore returned, smiling serenely.
"Perfect!" he exclaimed, jumping off the tractor. "On you get Harry, come on."
"What?" Harry asked, blankly.
"Don't you wasn't a go?" Dumbledore asked, he sounded unsure. Harry looked at the still running tractor. What was the worst that could happen?
"Er, alright," said Harry, "Ron, want a ride?" Ron was chalk white in the face and shaking as he looked at the tractor.
"Let me rephrase that. You're coming for a ride, Ron." Harry said he grabbed Ron and half dragged him onto the back of the tractor, sitting in front of him at the driver's wheel.
"You were 45 seconds," Harry called to Dumbledore, "let's see if we can beat you." With that said Harry pushed the lever, (which he later realised to be the throttle," forwards and sped off with Ron.
Dumbledore sat down on the ground where they had departed from, humming happily while unsticking another sherbet lemon. Really this had nothing to do with Voldemort, (he suspected Harry might have realised that.)
But it was rather fun. He mused, seeing Harry and Ron speeding back, and…
Was that Ronald throwing up off the side of the tractor?
A/N: This was written for the "Down on the Farm" challenge at a HP community on livejournal called "oohsparkly" The theme of the comm. being crackfic (running gimmick, i.e. camping trips, tractors, pie.) The comm. Is run by the lovely (and mad) Skoosiepants- this one's for her.
This is a one-shot, defiantly no further chapters or sequels, but I hope you enjoy.