Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans
This is kinda odd, but I figured it worked. Thats why I wrote this anyway. Actually, I wrote it because of something that I don't really want to get involved in, but I got involved anyway... but this is it. You don't like it, too bad. Stop reading. If you do, I love you too.
Raven walked uneasily out of the bathroom, glancing ever so many steps to make sure no one was following. She gently rubbed herself and stumbled into her room onto her bed. She grabbed a pen and her notebook and flipped open to a page.
Wednesday- 7:45AM Robin's Room
She crossed out the date and wrote.
I didn't feel ashamed, or embarrased. Not until he saw me. He didn't know about my pain down there, and that's probably my fault. I should've told him. But I didn't.
He let me in his room, while he was watching TV. I sat down and took off my shoes and cloak. He went inside his bathroom; I could hear him brushing his teeth. A few minutes later, I heard him start the shower. Thats when he came out and got me.
He was the first one naked between the two of us. I took in all his form and glory. Funny how hard he was before we were even together. I undressed slowly, one for effect, and two, because I didn't want him to see me. I didn't want him to see me down there.
I went into the shower with him and stood there as he fingered me. I moaned quietly. He didn't believe me when I told him a few days before I was a silent lover, I guess now he knew. I started to play with his lower self, gently tugging and pulling, and then he looked at me and said, "Do you want to suck it?" At first I thought he asked, "Do you want to fuck it?" So I answered yes. Thats when I realized what he meant. I got down on my knees anyway, telling him on the way down it was my first time sucking anyones dick. I don't recall if he said anything or not.
I sucked and sucked, trying to please him. I think it worked, because he didn't want me to stop, not until he was so hard he was going to bust in my mouth. I smiled, I think, when he lifted me up and fingered me again, with one, two and finally three fingers, to prepare me for his enterance.
He turned and put on a condom, and tried to fuck me right there in the shower. He was too big, and I wasn't wet enough. He still hadn't said anything about my lower parts.
We got out of the shower to move tothe couch in his room. I took so long in just getting dressed he told me to forget about it and just come out. As we sat on the couch he removed my clothes, leaving me in just my thong. He looked at me down there and smiled, I think. Yes. And thats when he began to give me my very first orgasm.
It didn't last long though, because he wanted to fuck me so badly. I was okay with it. He quickly put on his condom, and then began to pump in and out of me. It hurt, and I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I slowly choked it in, and tried to rock with him. He stopped a minute or so later. He couldn't move on.
He sat up and looked at me. How, I can't even tell. He looked somewhat scared. I know I was. He looked down at my lower extremities again and said, "I can't do it. I'm sorry. Starfire." I nodded and smiled at I sat up, re-adjusting my thong and then putting on my shirt, bra and pants. "Really, I am sorry." He said once more as he looked at me. "Don't sweat it," I said, lying through my teeth," I was feeling guilty too about Beastboy."
I know it was a lie. I hadn't thought about him the entire time I was in Robin's room, or even when I was walking towards his room. I didn't care if I hurt him. I didn't care.
He came back in, as I sat on the couch, and questioningly looked at me. "You ever had sex before?" I know what he meant. I didn't looklike a virgin down there, even though I was. I was molested several times in my childhood by 3 men or so, though all not at the same time. I was never penatrated, so it wasn't rape.It was on Azurath. I was going to tell him I was molested, figured he wanted to know, but the wrong word popped out. Rape.
I know it was the wrong word, but it was still the same sense.They allrapped me of my first touch, my first innocence. So in the sense, it was the right word. I think.
"You're talking about down there," I said as I encircled myarea with my hand, and he nodded, " I was raped when I was younger. Thats why." His face dropped as soon as I said it. "Oh. I'm sorry. Really. I am so sorry." I blew it off as nothing, and acted like I was over it. He didn't realize I was still hurting from it.
I think he said something about me being a virgin, yet not. And that I should explain to Beastboy what happened to me so he didn't freak out the first time we made love. I thought, 'Why the fuck should it matter? You would have made me unpure anyway.' I left his room, pretending I was okay, but the thought remained in the back of my head. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I need help. I need to meditate. No I don't. I need to talk to someone about this. I better not . Maybe I should talk to Robin more about this? No. No.
Raven shut her journal and flung it off into her closet, only so she wouldn't dwell on the fact any longer that she did fuck Robin, though neither reached their peak, and that she did tell him that she was 'raped' when she was younger. It was a bad morning to say the least.
She walked out of her room to be smacked into Cyborg, who was just about to knock on her door. She stumbled back, caught herself and glared at Cyborg. "What the fuck do you want?" she said as she growled, holding her head. He put his hands up in defense and smiled, "Nothin'! Honestly! BB just put an APB out on you because it's almost noon and no one's seen you. You okay?" She shook her shoulders and said, "I've been better." She brushed past him and down the hall towards the commons.
Beastboy saw her and jumped up into her. "OH MY GOD YOU'RE OKAY!" He said as he hugged her and kissedher forhead. She moved back and laughed. "Ummm yeah." "Where were you this morning?" he asked as he put his hands around her waist. She quickly glanced over to Robin, who didn't return the gesture. "No where. Just... trying to find myself."