Behind Blue Eyes

By Light-Eco-Sage

Rated: PG-13 for mild language and romance. (JK)

Summery: Because of the ban of Songs, I had to redo this one, because I love it. (Sorry, couldn't do 'Boulevard') Post Jak 3. Jak angastliness.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

LES: Note: I've removed all the 'Behind Blue Eyes' song lyrics so that I could keep this story. I'm sorry about this, I preferred the story as it was, but it was too much of a risk. No one would have benefited if I had my account closed. So, don't blame me. I'm doing the best I can.

Yet another sunset in the desert wasteland. Jak pulled the Sand Shark to a stop on top of a low hill to watch the sun slip below the horizon. Jak knew that it wasn't a good idea to stay in one place for too long for the Marauders could find you but, all the same, he sat on that hilltop.

Jak couldn't even remember the last time he just sat and watched the sun set. It had to be sometime back in Sandover.

"Whoa…" Daxter breathed as he watched the orange, purple, red, and the pinks play across the sky. "Pretty…"

Jak watched the sunset and was horrified to discover he couldn't see the beauty in the colors anymore. Jak slowly tuned away from the sunset, looking around the barren desert landscape. "Sure, it's beautiful." Jak lied.

Jak closed his eyes and tried to remember Sandover. He could see it in his mind's eyes as clear as if he were standing there. But, the color… the beauty, seemed to be faded. Sandover was just a place he remembered… nothing more.

Jak and Daxter sat there for ten more minutes before the sun was gone over the horizon and the green star came up. It was getting dark and Jak started the Sand Shark's engine. Every Wastelander knew how dangerous the desert could be at night. The biggest Metal-Heads were nocturnal. Jak only had to deal with these monsters twice and he wasn't inching to do it again. So he pulled a 180-degree turn and took off for Spargus.

The trip back across the desert had been uneventful enough. He didn't run into any serious Metal-Head or Marauder problems. However, he almost drove into a large ditch, leftover from Errol's trek across the Wasteland in his huge teraformer.

Jak still didn't have a clue how Errol managed to survive that Dark Eco. As far as Jak could tell, the only things they saved was a bit of face, some hair, and a hand. Jak was sure that wasn't enough for a resurrection, but that's Errol for you. To think, the people of Haven City hated HIM when they had nuts like Errol on the lose.

Jak drove up to the gates of Spargus, which opened automatically allowing him to pass. He expertly maneuvered the Sand Shark to its place in Kleiver's garage. He remembered all too well the time he had left the Dune Hopper in the middle of the garage. Kleiver had not so politely offered to remove some 'unwanted' appendages that Jak decided that he'd rather keep. No matter what Daxter said, the fact was that Jak WAS a twenty year-old male elf.

So with the Sand Shark in its proper place, assuring the safety of Jak's…er… valuables, Jak hopped out of the vehicle and walked toward the door that led to Spargus proper.

Jak hopped onto a near-by Leaper, trying not to look at the Palace. It brought back too many memories that Jak wasn't ready to deal with. Jak wove expertly though the streets, taking care not to hit the other people.

In Haven City, Jak could hit people all the time and not worry about the pedestrians retaliating. However, in Spargus, everyone carried a gun and could handle themselves in a battle. Even the weaker looking women could pack a hefty kick.

Jak laughed slightly as he remembered one of his first days in Spargus when he bumped into an unassuming woman. On instinct, the women gave him a swift spin-kick to the jaw.

Jak pasted by the only Light Eco vent and stopped. "Just what I need!" Jak sighed as he jumped off the Leaper; giving it a pat on the head to signal to it he was coming back.

"Jak?" Daxter questioned from the Leaper.

"Don't worry, Dax." Jak reassured the Ottsel. "I just need to calm my nerves." Daxter nodded knowingly. There was no better cure for fried nerves that a Light Eco Vent. Jak stepped onto the vent and gasped as his body absorbed the Light Eco. The stuff left Jak with a slight 'high' feeling. Light Eco was the Eco of Life and it made him feel alive again… if only for a few moments.

Jak stepped off the vent and began to walk back towards the Leaper with enough Light Eco stored in his body to last a few days. The only unpleasant thing about Light Eco was its effect when it encountered the Dark Eco that was also in his body. He caught a glimpse of himself in the water that came out of the pumps that were nearby. He saw his own reflection, but he also saw the dim shadows of his alter egos. Dark Jak was trying to pick a fight with Light Jak, who ignored him.

If Dark was Jak's inner demon, then Light was his inner angel, his conscience.

Jak leapt back onto his Leaper, the Light Eco high gone at the sight of his two alter egos. Jak headed toward the small, rustic house that had been assigned to him when he became a citizen of Spargus.

To tell the truth, Jak was rather bored with the peace that followed Errol's defeat. Before, he would've been lucky to find a good night's sleep for several days, now he had days were there was nothing to do. And, if there was stuff, the odds of him getting the mission, when hundreds of others were waiting for missions, was slim.

Jak sighed with relief as he walked onto the house. The rooms were sparsely furnished, but Jak had no need for comfort.

For a moment, Jak thought of Haven City. Other than Sig, who was ruling the desert city, and Daxter, all of Jak's friends were there.

Samos, Torn (if you can call that a friendship), Ashelin, Keira… Jak sat down on the couch as he continued to think. Keira? Jak defiantly liked her… maybe loved her. But, if he forged a relationship from what was left of it, he'd have to share her with his other love…

"Hey!" Daxter called over from his miniature Ottsel chair. "A penny for your thoughts."

Jak's nose wrinkled as he glared at Daxter. "Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."

"Oh… perhaps he's thinking of a certain female?" Daxter questioned. Jak kept his face straight and emotionless, something he was good at. "A certain… red-haired female?"

"Wha?" Jak stared at Daxter. "Ashelin?"

Daxter looked at Jak as if he were stupid. "Of coarse, Ashelin! You two tongue-wrestled, remember?"

"That kiss?" Jak asked. "Dax, I'd think of all people you'd recognize a casual kiss when you saw it."

"You slipped her the tongue." Daxter pointed out, winking boyishly. "So, do you like her or not?"

Jak was spared answering by someone knocking on the door. Jak quickly got up. "Coming." Jak opened the door and Sig stood in the doorway.

"Hey, Cherry, can I talk to you for a sec?" Sig asked.

"Sure." Jak answered, glad for an excuse not to answer Daxter. He took a step back from the door to let Sig into the house. Sig took a seat on the couch where Jak had been sitting moments before. "Aren't you supposed to be running the city?" Jak asked.

"I am." Sig answered, he paused before continuing. "See, it's going to be a matter of time before the people find out that you are Mar, Damas' lost son… and when they do…"

"They are going to pressure me to take my father's desert throne and rule Spargus." Jak finished, he let out a half-hearted laugh. "And I thought it was bad when just one city was asking me to be King, now I have two cities to which I'm the heir to the throne. How could I manage that?"

"Damas would have wanted his son to take his place." Sig said.

"Sig…" Jak sighed. "You are my friend, and you know me. I'm a warrior, not a leader. You could order me to blow up the Metal-Head army and, God knows, I wouldn't come back until every single one of them were burning in Hell. But, I can't rule a city! I take orders and follow them, I don't give them. I could never do what my father did." Tears were beginning to come, despite Jak's best efforts. Just the mere mention of Damas brought back memories of him dying in his arms, right after he discovered that Damas was his father all along.

Sig noticed the tears forming and wisely got up to leave. "I'm sorry you feel that way." Sig said as he left. As soon as Sig was gone, Jak burst into tears, tears that had gone unshed for years poured out of his soul as the dam burst.

Images of every cruel thing that had ever happened to him came back to haunt him. And the images of the people who had hurt him mocked him in his misery.

Baron Praxis, the man who started the Dark Warrior Program that made his life a living Hell. Praxis was dead, killed by Metal-Kor, but Jak prayed every day that Praxis was suffering in Hell for what he did to him.

Errol, the freak that had the nerve to not die. The man who tried to steal Keira from Jak just out of spite, not because he liked her. The day Errol blew himself up was the happiest day of Jak's life. But the bastard had the nerve to come back as an android and try to destroy the world. He was dead, again, and Jak hoped that this time he stayed dead.

Vegar… Jak still wasn't sure why he didn't kill him. Jak didn't think he hated any of his enemies more than Vegar. That man had been the cause of his suffering. If Vegar had never kidnapped young Jak, then known as Mar, from Damas, none of the crap Jak went though would've happened. Not only did Vegar ruin Jak's life back in a time he couldn't remember, but he banished Jak to the Wasteland later in life. And worst, he openly mocked the fact that Damas died without knowing the truth about Jak.

Jak continued to cry for more than an hour, for he had plenty of unshed tears. Daxter quietly watched his best friend's sorrow, wishing that he had the magic words that would heal his emotional pain. Sure, Daxter knew what Dark Eco felt like, he knew that it hurt, but Jak had been though things that he couldn't even imagine, so he couldn't help him.

Finally the tears stopped and Jak, red-eyed and puffy-eyed, stood up. He walked towards the door. "Hey, Jak! Where are you going? It's getting late?"

"For a walk." Jak answered shortly. "Don't worry about me." Jak opened the door and stepped out into the cool night air. Unlike the scorching hot days, the desert nights were actually very nice. Night had long since fallen over the small desert city of Spargus and the Eco-lights and the occasional house light were the only things that gave light. The flame on the Spargain Palace roof shown bright against the night sky. Very few people were on the streets, and the few that were, were heading home. But, Jak wasn't going home. Jak set off aimlessly into the night.

Some of the Wastelanders waved at Jak as he past. Most of them knew him as the Precursor's Champion, a few owed Life Debts to Jak, and others were just polite, Jak guessed. Jak smiled and waved politely back, even though what he really wanted to do was let Dark go on a rampage. But he kept Dark locked inside.

Jak approached the place his mind was subconsciously taking him—the lift to the Spargain Throne Room. Jak looked at the strange symbol on the door as he stood there, wondering if he should go inside.

Jak made up his mind after a minute or two, he walked up to the doors and it opened to allow him access. Jak walked onto the lift and, after a second, it began to move upwards toward Damas'… his father's Throne Room.

Jak tried to prepare himself as best as he could, half of him couldn't believe he was doing this. It had only been a week since Damas died; was he prepared to face his deceased father's Throne Room? It was there that they had their longest conversations.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, the lift stopped at the top. Jak walked off. The Throne Room was very different from the one he remembered in Haven City before the Palace collapsed. Where the Haven the Throne Room was very modern, Spargus' Throne Room was decorated with ponds, waterfalls, and rocks.

At the top of the room stood the empty Throne, Damas' Throne, his father's Throne. Jak looked around to see if anyone was in the Throne Room, he appeared to be alone, so Jak walked up towards the Throne.

Jak reached the Throne and examined it. Precursor writing had been carved into it, but Jak couldn't read it. Jak ran a hand across the polished wood. For the first time in a while, Jak spoke… one single word. "Father…"

On a whim, Jak sat down on the Throne, resting his arms on the armrests. Sure, the Throne was slightly big for him, but he leaned back in the large Throne, looking around the room, taking in what his father saw everyday.

Jak didn't know what was worse. Never knowing your father, or suddenly finding out someone was your father all along as he died in your arms. Jak hung his head, eyes closed.

Jak sat like this for ten minutes, half-asleep, listening to the sound of running water. Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, a clear voice split the near-silence.


Jak looked up in amazement and saw that the person who disturbed him was none other than Keira. She walked off the lift. Jak hadn't even noticed it go down. "Keira?" Jak gasped. "Aren't you supposed to be in Haven City?"

Keira slowly approached Jak. "Sig was worried about you. He called me."

"So, you're here to cheer me up?" Jak asked, Keira nodded. "I'm sorry, but unless you have another Rift Ring and Rider with you, there's not much you can do."

"Jak…" Keira breathed. "The previous ruler of Spargus, he was your father?"

"And he's dead." Jak said shortly. "Just like me."

Keira walked over to Jak as he sat on the Throne, she put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Oh, Jak. You aren't dead… the last thing you are dead. You can be very caring and sensitive when you want to be."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Jak asked, suddenly changing the subject.

"What?" Keira asked.

"My Dark Side." Jak clarified. "You used to be afraid of it, but I can't sense your fear anymore."

"No, Jak, I'm not afraid of you." Keira responded.

"Why?" Jak asked.

"Because I've heard the stories." Keira said. "The stories that speak of an angel in Spargus and Haven. I don't know how, but I know they speak of you and it means something good."

"An angel?" Jak repeated. "That's me. The only freak on the planet to have both a demon and an angel living inside him. Me, Dark Jak, and Light Jak… all in one body."

"Dark Jak'? 'Light Jak'?" Keira giggled. "What is it with men and their need to name everything?"

"I named them because I'd confuse other people by saying 'other me's' all the time." Jak said.

"Daxter is worried about you, too." Keira said. "It's not like you to wallow in self-pity like this all the time."

"I've been wallowing in self-pity ever since I was dropped into this Mar-forsaken future." Jak said.

"Jak…" Keira sighed disapprovingly. "You are not the only one stuck here. And, unlike you, Daxter and I weren't born here. You came back to your place of origin, Daxter and I have left ours behind forever."

Jak looked up at Keira with a half-hearted smile on his face. "When did you gain all this wisdom?"

"I'm not wise." Keira said. "I'm just stating the obvious."

"That may be obvious to you…" Jak began, but Keira cut him off.

"Jak, I'm sorry that your father is dead, but at least you KNEW him!" Keira snapped.

"Barely." Jak countered. "Our conversation was minutes… tops."

Keira put a light hand on Jak's arm. Jak looked up at her in surprise. But this move was slightly less innocent than he thought. She brushed some dirt off of the Precursor armor. "Your father gave you this armor… didn't he?" Keira asked quietly.

"Yeah." Jak answered. "This breastplate was the last piece I got. My father, Damas, said he was saving it for his son." Jak laughed. "Little did he know, his son did get the armor."

The couple engaged in several minutes of silence, the only sound to be heard was the steady splashing of the waterfalls. Finally, Keira spoke. "What happened to us, Jak?"

Jak didn't answer immediately. He was silent for several seconds as he pondered her question. "I don't know." Jak finally admitted. "Our relationship suffered one too many blows, I guess."

"I still care for you." Keira said quietly. "When we were younger, you were like the big brother I never had."

"And what about now?" Jak asked. "I'm I just your big brother, or perhaps…"

Keira sighed. "I… I just… don't know. I'm so confused." Tears began to run down Keira's face but her voice was steady. "And this whole thing with Ashelin…"

"Ashelin? She's hot, no doubt about that." Jak admitted. Keira took a deep breath, as though preparing herself for the worst. "But, you know what? She isn't really my type."

"Then… what is your type?" Keira asked, her hope rising slightly.

In response, Jak got up out of the Throne, facing Keira. Jak put his hands on her waist, pulling her towards himself slightly. Keira looked into his ocean-blue eyes and knew instantly what he was going to do. But… she didn't mind… this was what she wanted.

Time seemed to slow for the couple as the moment of their first kiss with each other drew nearer. Mouths met and Keira felt herself melt into Jak's arms. This was more than she had ever imagined. The kiss moved with a slow passion that was quite like a tank… slow, but unstoppable. Keira draped her arms around his neck as the passionate kiss continued, even with the couple running out of air.

Only when both their lungs were screaming for air did the couple separate. Jak smiled slightly, in an almost embarrassed sort of way. Keira had her eyes closed, remembering their kiss. After a moment, she opened her eyes and smiled at Jak, who grinned even wider as he devoured her mouth once more in an, if anything, more passionate kiss than the previous one. The two continued their make-out session, only breaking apart for a quick gasp of air before diving back into their passion.

Quite suddenly, Jak stopped and pulled away from Keira. Keira immediately missed the feel of his lips so she opened her eyes to see what was wrong. She was surprised to see Jak backing away from her, from their passion. "Jak?" Keira asked, looking pleadingly at him.

Jak wrestled with his emotions, he knew he loved Keira; but he loved something else… vengeance. And he knew first hand what that could do to the ones you love. Everyone he ever loved was either hurt, mutated, or dead. He didn't want Keira to be next. "I'm sorry." Jak said, hanging his head. Those words hurt him more than he could say, and he could tell that they hurt Keira too, which made him hurt worse. "But… I can't let you be hurt, for my sake." Jak paused before adding, "I love you." With that, he turned on his heel and walked towards the lift.

Keria watched Jak's retreating back. Just as he stepped onto the lift, she said, "I love you, too."

Jak watched Keira disappear from his line of sight as the lift went down. Back on the street, Jak felt a tear coming, but he quickly locked it inside his heart. A tear that would forever remain unshed…

LES: It's done. About the ending? The ending was getting too happy for an agastly fic. Nice reviews loved. Constructive criticism worshiped. Flames? I don't really care. Just know I laugh at/ignore flames.