Letters to You
Watched the movie, read some fanfic, decided to write my own.
It was just a little angsty/sweet thing I wanted to write.
Don't own, although I want John.
Letters to You
John fell on his bed, collapsing with exhaustion and pain. His shoulder was slowly starting to numb over. Brains had assessed it and said it had been a torn muscle, probably caused when he went flying the full length of the control centre. John sat up, kicking off his shoes. He was about to lay back down and try to sleep when he spotted something on his desk. Frowning he stood and walked over.
Lying there, in a neat little pile appeared to be three white envelopes. Fingering the first one, John sat on his chair and pulled out his letter opener, tearing at the fold.
I can't say these things to you because I don't know you, but I know that I do love you. You're my big brother and despite not knowing you or seeing you often I wanted you to know that. Dad used to tell me that I could always depend on all my brothers to look out for me, but you were never around, I thought that you didn't like me. I thought that maybe you didn't love me like you did the others.
I know that I was wrong. I heard you talking to dad one night, before the Hood attacked us. Before he attacked you. I heard you defend me, I heard you stick up for me and I wanted to say thanks.
It's good to know that one of my brothers isn't going to tease me, that one of you is on my side and that I can come to you.
I'm going to be calling you more often now. When I'm home and you're in Thunderbird 5. I'm going to call to say goodnight.
I love you, John.
John frowned, wondering why Alan hadn't just talked to him. Sighing and shaking his head he moved to the next one. Wondering if maybe his brothers were starting to go too mushy.
Okay, so I bet you thought this was going to explode or something. I knew that you would. But no. No practical jokes for a while, okay?
Right, well, you know I thought writing it would be easier, it's not.
I'm sorry about the hair dye that I put in your shampoo when you were 15.
I'm sorry about the fake snake in your bed when you were 16.
I'm sorry about pushing you into the pool when you graduated high school.
I'm sorry about messing up your room when you first went off to TB5.
I'm sorry about ruining your experiments when I first went off to TB5.
I'm sorry I gave you the flu when you were 18.
I'm sorry I gave you a hard time when you were trying to help me pass my maths and science exams. I know that you were just trying to help.
I guess I'm just sorry about everything. I never realised that I hadn't ever apologised before.
I love you, John.
John stared at the piece of paper. This was seriously weird. Why were they writing letters to him when he was right here? Why couldn't they just talk to him? Was this making any sense to anyone else…
Sighing John picked up the last one. Wondering if it was Scott or Virgil. Probably Virgil, Scott wouldn't write him a letter. He could at least depend on Scott to come to him and talk.
You probably know that we were worried. That we were scared. You probably were too. But when the alarm went off, and Brains said major damage had been dealt to the station, then seeing it, I felt a fear in my gut that I can't say I ever remember having before.
I thought that we'd see you, dead. I couldn't face that and I was so scared I almost didn't leave Thunderbird 3. You're the big brother that I've always gone to for emotional security. Scott's more of an action man. He's who you talk to about IR problems. You're who I talk to with personal issues.
You were who got me through mom's death. You were the one who told me it'd be all right. I guess I need you to keep doing that. I thought I was over that, but I'm not.
If you say things will be okay, they always are. So you have to stick around for that.
John put the letters on his desk again, rubbing his face. They hadn't done that before. They'd never been so…strangely emotional. Sure, he knew they loved him, even when he was away so much. He knew that he was just as loved. Maybe this whole near death thing was an emotional string jerker. There was a knock on his door and John looked up.
"Come in." The door slowly opened and Scott peered in.
"You busy?" John looked at the letters before glancing over at his big brother and shaking his head. "Good, I wanted to talk to you." That didn't sound good.
"What's up, Scott?" John asked, turning his chair to face the elder male.
"You know I love you right?" John groaned and let his head fall back.
"Am I dying or something?" He asked, frowning at Scott.
"You and the other three have just told me you love me, it's starting to freak me out." Scott looked over at the door.
"They were here?" He asked.
"No, I got letters." John said, indicating slightly to his desk. "At least you say it. Gordon apologised for nearly every prank he ever pulled." Scott smiled a little.
"Did he use the whole pad?" John laughed, shaking his head. "I guess it's just that, well…" Scott looked at the ground. "You're away so much. You're always in the Space Station and I suppose we don't call you as much as we should do. You were directly targeted by the Hood. He could've killed you. I guess we all just needed to tell you how we felt." John smiled, moving to sit beside Scott on his bed. He put an arm around Scott's shoulders, pressing their heads together.
"I know you guys care. I love you all too." John said, relaxing against his big brother. "We're not invincible, we all know the risks. Brains and I are gonna work on building up the security around Peg."
"Thunderbird 5." John explained. "She's called Peg, after Pegasus."
"You are a nut." Scott said with a smile. "But I suppose it makes sense. Maybe we should all name our crafts." John laughed.
"Okay, I'm kicking you out now. I'm beat." Scott smiled, standing up.
"Night little brother." He said, messing up John's platinum hair. "Sleep tight."
When Scott left John just sat there, staring out his window at the sky. Taking a breath he stood and headed out of his room and down the hall. Opening the door slowly he looked over at the bed, smiling as his little brother slept.
"Goodnight Alan." He whispered. "Love you too."
"'Night John." Came the groggy reply. John smirked, closing the door quietly and going back to his bed.
So it was a little strange. But it still made sense. John just had to remember to hold Gordon to his word. No pranks for a while. He could get used to that.