Fandom: Dr Who
Rating: 12/Pg-13/Whatever rating system you want to use
Notes: Set after Dalek. Angsty piece of fluff. I hate this. (Really selling my fic huh?)
He was crying.
She leant against the door of his room, facing it, reminiscent of what she had thought were her last moments a few hours before.
It was breaking her heart. He was always smiling, everything was fantastic and now he was crying in his room.
The idea was so bizarre she couldn't even imagine him crying. She couldn't form an image of him in her mind, curled up and crying, sobs wracking his body, tearstains.
She wanted him to smile again because the sound of him crying was enough to bring her to her knees. She could already feel herself slipping to the floor under the weight of the intense emotions running through her.
This was new. These feelings were completely alien to her.
She pushed herself away from the door and straightened up. She knocked on his door, twice, lightly, to warn him she was entering.
He was on the bed, shoes in the floor, still wearing his leather jacket. His knees were drawn up and he was resting his head on them, hiding his face in them, hugging his legs tightly, shaking as he cried.
The sight of it was too much to take. She sank to the floor and began to cry herself for no other reason than the fact that he was crying, that he was hurting. He didn't look up as her legs curled under her and she reached out for him, crying, her arms stretched out on the floor towards him.
She wanted to comfort him, make him smile again like she loved him to do but she couldn't move, couldn't do anything but cry with him.
She tried to control herself, tried to get her breathing under control as his sobs continued. He was the doctor, he was 900, he'd survived the entire destruction of his own race and now now he was crying. It wasn't right, it wasn't supposed to be like this and oh god it hurt so much.
Undignified as it was, she crawled towards the bed, towards him and climbed up onto it. He didn't move, didn't look up until she pulled at his arms, pulling his body towards her and he was lying in her arms on the bed.
He buried his head in her chest and she held onto his tightly as they cried together.
She rocked him back and forth and after a little while felt herself calm down, her crying, the sobs, the shaking all became less intense. Quiet tears ran down her face as he cried harshly in her arms. She carried on comforting him, realising that she loved him completely. Even her dad hadn't caused this her this much pain.
"I killed you" He choked out suddenly. "I'm supposed to protect you."
"No you're not." She told him.
"Yes I am."
"No. Because the only way to do that would be to send me home and I'm not leaving."
"Don't go." The words were a whimper and she could feel herself breaking again.
"I'm not going anywhere." She whispered.
"It would've killed you any other time."
"I'm alive aren't I?"
"I'm alive." She tightened her hold on him, running her hands up and down her back.
"You're beautiful." He took a deep breath, pushing his chest out hard against her before moving up her body, puling out of her embrace so their faces were level.
He was still crying and still shaking as he reached up to cup her cheek but the edge of it had faded away. The look in his eyes was enough to set her own tears off again, to shatter her heart over and over.
He leant forward and kissed her.
"I love you." He told her. "I need you too."
"I know." She smiled. "I love you too."
"Really?" He didn't believe her, normally he would assume that everyone loved him but with Rose things were different. He'd never felt this way about one of his companions before. He'd cared deeply yes, loved them like friends, family but with Rose…he really wanted to kiss her again.
"Really." She kissed him, reaching up to wipe away his tears. "Can't be anything else, hurts too much."
"I killed you."
"No!" She cried. "You did what you had to do, I released the Dalek in the first place." She sighed. She could see them rehashing this over and over for years to come. She kissed him again, harder this time. "It doesn't matter, cause I'm alive, the Dalek has gone and, and.." She trailed off as his hand slipped up and under her top, caressing her back.
"And you're beautiful. Considering." She laughed and looked at him. His tears had stopped, he wasn't shaking and he was smiling.
He was beautiful and this is was how is was supposed to be.