Obviously, I missed Christmas, but it's still a Christmas special of Rock The World! Hope you like it!
Anyway, since there's no reviewers response in chapters now, I've started a new thing. Two songs to go along with every chapter, which you can listen to while you read. Just click the links next to them. Pretty nice, isn't it?
This time it's the following songs:
Magnum- Rock Heavy (The theme song of the fic!) http/media.
Darkness- Friday Night/ http/media.
future chapters, I'll put songs inside the story where they are meant to be played. Sort of like a soundtrack. Yes, I know, it's clever. :D
Anyway, rock on, here's a new chapter of Rock The World.
Random Skit 3: A Priest's Confession
Priest: Ah, finally I have reached heaven... Hey, why are you blocking the way, Martel?
Martel: You have not done me well.
Priest: What are you talking about?
Bus driver: Hey hey. Can I go in?
Priest: This is unfair! Why did he get to go? I've held service in church every sunday for 30 years!
Martel: Yes, but when you preach the people are asleep and could not care less. When he drives, everyone prays to the Goddess.
Priest: ... Hmpf, how did you die then?
Bus driver: I died in my sleep.
Priest: Not screaming like your passengers, then?
Bus driver: WHY YOU LITTLE... I mean. No. Well, I'm off. bye.
"Hey, everyone!" Colette said, dreamingly. "Remember last year, when we celebrated Christmas in Flanoir?"
"I made the biggest snowman ever!" Genis exclaimed. "I cheated a little, but still. Then Lloyd ruined it."
"What do you mean? It wasn't me!"
"Ah yes... I remember when Sheena and I..." Zelos said and smiled. Then he suddenly froze. "Gah! We can't talk about old memories! We need to escape!"
Everybody gazed confusedly at him. Zelos nodded to the right.
"THE WONDER CHEF!" Everybody yelled in unison. "We must escape!"
"Regal, take Raine!" Sheena commanded. "Let's go!"
"We must get out and open the gate!"
"Why must I take Raine?"
"Guess why, you imbecill! You knocked her out! Grab her, and hurry! You too, Colette!"
"Oh, right." Colette sighed and crawled to her feet. "I love talking about old memories. Maybe later, then..."
Flanoir, one year earlier.
"C-c-cold!" Zelos shuddered as he rubbed his shoulders, looking out through the window. White snow fell outside, small flakes of snow danced in the whirling wind.
"Maybe because you still haven't taken your pants on?" Genis suggested as he walked by, holding a cup of warm tea in his hands.
Zelos looked down. Oh god. The half-elven midget with the girly hair was right. He had no pants. He dashed back to his room..
As Zelos ran away, Lloyd came down the stairs, dressed in a blue jacket and white gloves.
"I'm ready." He said and cracked his fists.
"Ready for what?" Genis asked as he sat down on the chair next to the fireplace.
"What contest?" Genis took a zip of his tea.
"The Snowman Contest, come on! You promised!" Lloyd said, jumping up and down.
"Yeah, I know I did..."
"It's 7.00 in the morning. Do we have to start now? There's barely any daylight."
"Fine, I'll wait." Lloyd placed himself in the chair next to Genis.
They sat there for a while, soaking up the comfortable heat from the fire.
"Lloyd, don't you find it hot?"
"No, no." Lloyd said, sweating heavily.
"Maybe you should remove your jacket."
"Nah, nah, I'll be fine."
"If you say so."
A while passed.
"Lloyd, you're awfully quiet. Is something wrong?"
"N-no. Of course not. Is it just me, or is it awfully humid in here?"
"Um, I can't feel anything particular. The air's kind of thin, I think."
"Why do you ask?"
"No, nothing, really."
Another ten minutes passed.
Genis finished his tea and got up to fetch some more when he heard a bump. He turned around and saw Lloyd with his head lying in the middle of the fireplace. He had fainted and crashed right into it.
"LLOYD!" Genis yelled and swung his kendama over his head. "Icicle!"
The ice spell extinguished the fire that had started in Lloyds hair alright, but it rendered mr Irving himself frozen solid as a statue. Genis walked over and pulled Lloyd's stiff body out of the fireplace, kicked the fallen chair back up and placed him in it.
Genis yawned and sighed.
"Oh well. Hello, chef! I think we need some more tea over here."
"This is even more beautiful than Altamira." Regal said, as he he stood on the balcony with a perfect view over all of Flanoir.
"Yes, it's very pretty."
"Oh Raine. I didn't see you coming."
"Oh, I've been guiding Colette and Presea around, showing some nice things to them..."
"You know, somehow I get the feeling people are not paying attention to what I say all the time? Like when I guided them around, I explained to them that there was once an ancient castle lying nearby, founded by Tethe'Alla king... Augustus... Once... When Tieal IV came... and everyone just seem to ignore me... Do you get my point?"
"Um, excuse me?" Regal turned. "What did you say? I was admiring the falling snow."
"Gah! You men are all hopeless!" Raine waved her fist in the air and stormed off. "I guess I'll go talk to a wall! At least it will listen to what I have to say!"
"Aw come on, Raine. I didn't mean... Sigh, there she goes."
Regal took a deep breath and placed his cuffed hands on the fence and leaned forward. There wasn't a chance in the world that a man could make her happy.
To engage a marriage with that half elf, you'd either have to be a deaf professor with an insane passion for homework, or an ancient ruin with legs. He was neither of them. And he wasn't planning on becoming any of them either.
He sighed as small snowflakes hit his skin. He enjoyed the cool feeling they brought and he closed his eyes. Christmas. Christmas in Altamira wasn't a big holiday, since there was no snow to bring that holiday feeling.
When he thought about it, he had only celebrated a "real" christmas once before in his life. It was in Flanoir as well, with a very special girl. That girl was long gone now. He missed her, but lately she had gotten less and less space in his mind. He had finally begun to move on.
"Nhaw dhis is ahwkwhard..." Zelos sluddered. Ever since childhood, he had never been able to resist the urge to lick ice sculptures whenever he saw them. He really tried to resist this time, he really did. But with no success.
So there he stood, bent forward in a very uncomfortable position with his tongue frozen stuck on an ice sculpture of a bigfoot. Things weren't made any better by the fact that his tongue were stuck just above the bigfoots sculptured mouth.
"Hey Lloyd, hurry up!" A voice yelled. "Zelos has tried to make out with bigfoot again!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming, Genis... My limbs are still stiff, I can't move... Oh, nice."
Genis and Lloyd placed themselves a few meters away, watching the scene with joyful looks on their faces.
"You know, if he's stuck there..." Genis said and nodded towards a big pile of snow to his left. "He can't do much if we fill his clothes up with snow. Or throw snowballs on his head."
"True, true." Lloyd said with a sinister smile as he made a snowball from the soft snow that covered the ground. "What if I'd just happen to drop this... In your neck, Zelos."
"Nho! Nho! Nhot dhe nheck!" Zelos pleaded, being unable to talk properly since his tongue were stuck outside his mouth.
"I can't hear him. Genis, can you hear him?"
"Nope. Now it's payback time. All those times when he's lifted me up and treated me like a child... Why don't we ask Sheena to join before we start to make things uncomfortable?"
"You know what they say, Genis. The merrier the more morer!"
"Um, it's 'the more, the merrier'."
"Yeah, just like I said. Come on, she should be around here somewhere. Maybe we could ask her to do one of her ninja tricks on him! That'd be awesome!"
"We're forgetting something..." Genis said, and halted. "Raine. And her staff, of course."
"She has employees?"
"No no, her staff. Her wand, you idiot."
"Uh, right. Good work, Genis. Maybe we can ask some of the locals if they'd like to join as well?"
"Brilliant idea. Let's go."
Zelos sweatdropped. This was not good. Not good at all. Maybe cutting his tongue would be the least painful way to go.
He hated this time of the year. It brought back such painful memories from his childhood, and since he grew up he'd been trying to avoid the occassion the best he could.
Kratos Aurion's train of thought was interrupted, and he lifted his head just enough to see the blonde-haired angel Colette come walking towards him. She was carrying a large box filled with various christmas items.
"Come inside the inn for a while?"
"Would you rather stand out here in the cold?"
"It's not cold."
"Then why are you keeping your arms crossed?"
"I always keep my arms crossed."
"Then why are you standing shielded by the wall if you're not cold?"
"I felt like it."
"You got icicles in your hair."
Kratos Aurion sighed. Once Colette had made a decision, she'd stubbornly do everything she could to make it happen. He might as well just take a look and get it overwith.
Well, it couldn't be that bad, he thought and headed inside. He was wrong.
"Look! Aren't my decorations just the greatest?" Colette giggled and flew around lighting all the candles in the lobby.
"Oh dear." Kratos muttered and looked around. "This is the worst thing I've ever seen."
The inn's lobby was packed with various Christmas items, christmas candles, christmas curtains, christmas lights, a christmas tree, christmas statues, christmas candy...
"This is exactly why I haven't celebrated Christmas for the last 3600 years." Kratos said to himself. . Colette was singing on a jolly christmas tune while arranging and rearranging a pair of statues until they were perfect.
Kratos turned to the innkeeper and whispered: "Did you approve this?
"Yes. Such a good girl, isn't she?"
"Don't tell me you let her do all the other rooms?"
"Of course I did."
That left only one option. Kratos turned.
"Kratos, where are you going?" Colette asked, stopping in mid-air.
"I'll be sleeping at the doctor's house tonight."
"Why? Hey, wait!"
"COLD!" Sheena yelled to no one in particular. Although she was wearing a jacket, she was freezing.
"How does cold feel?" Presea asked. She was wearing her usual clothes, showing no signs of being bothered by the cold winds that swept through the streets.
"Well…" Sheena looked for the right words. "Um, I guess…"
Hmm. When she thought about it, she had never explained the word "cold" before.
"Um, well. It's kind of the opposite of hot. Although that won't help you much."
"I guess not. It's good in a way, I don't get to wear the silly jackets everyone else is wearing." Presea smiled. "When does the celebration start?"
"In a few hours. We have some time to kill."
"What do you suggest we do?"
"Let's have Genis arrange us a hockey match!"
"H-hockey? What is that?"
"Well, it's a game. You have a stick, and the goal is to…get the puck in the goal."
"What's a puck?"
"Oh dear. I think I should ask Raine to put together a dictionary for you, Presea."
"What's a dictionary?"
"Well, it's a book where you can look up the meaning of certain words if you don't understand them. Very useful."
"I'd like that. Thanks. Hey, I can see Genis and Lloyd!"
"But what are they doing…" Sheena scratched her chin. "Looks like Zelos' attempt to flirt with the Bigfoot has ended in another pathetic failure. Let's go throw some snowballs on him."
"That's not nice."
"Hmm, no, you're right." Sheena smiled. "But it's fun. Let's go!"
Zelos Wilder was in pain. Incredible pain. In fact, it was the worst pain of his life. And he had been fighting savage beasts and fearsome monsters all over the world. But the pain he suffered from right now was the worst yet.
It felt like his arm would fall off any second, and his legs didn't seem to obey his brain. Not much on his body did obey his brain anyway, but this… And it was all because of THEM:
Yes, he called them THEM now. Their real names weren't worth to say. It was THEY who caused this. Sure, he could say some nasty things sometimes, but this… This time they crossed the line.
And on Christmas Day! Zelos tried to clench his fist, but all that came was even more pain.
He tried to curse out loud, but his tongue would probably be pronounced dead in the near future. Darn it, he couldn't do a thing.
He suddenly noticed that his legs had stopped moving. He was standing in the middle of the street.
It was time for payback. Sure, it was Christmas but the Christmas spirit hadn't found its way into Zelos' heart.
No. Zelos laughed. On the inside, of course. His face showed no expression. It couldn't.
It was THEY who caused this. Now they would pay. And he knew exactly how to do it.
"Hey, old man…" A little boy suddenly said from behind. "Would you like me to help you across the street?"
Zelos was shocked. Did that little kid just call him an old man? He wasn't even 20!
"Listen, kid." Zelos said, angrily and it took a great effort to spell the words. "I'm no old man. So I'd suggest you'd turn around and run for your life."
"Or else I'll do something unpleasant."
"Like…Steal your dog."
"I don't have a dog."
"Umm, your cat then."
Zelos sighed as the boy ran. He didn't like being rude, but the kid brought it upon himself.
Now, if he could just make his way back to the inn, he could put his sinister plan into work.
"Let me help you."
Zelos turned. It was Sheena. She grabbed his arm and started to lead him across the street. She smiled.
"I'm sorry for that, Zelos." She laughed. "But it was fun."
"For you maybe, but not…f-f-for me."
"Don't be so angry, it's Christmas. It's almost time to give out presents. I even bought you something."
"Is it a bomb?"
"Of course not."
"Is it toxic?"
"O-kay. I bought a gift for you aswell."
"Is it a picture of you?"
"It's the thought that counts." Sheena giggled as they crossed the road. "Now, let's head inside before you get frozen solid."
Sheena grabbed his arm, and Zelos felt a warm feeling spread in his body. All sinister plans and evil thoughts disappeared from his mind in the very same second she touched him, and Zelos closed his eyes.
Maybe there was a chance after all...
"LET'S RIP 'EM UP!"
For a person just entering the room, Lloyd would've looked like a serial killer on a rampage. He was holding both his swords, laughing like a maniac and he had a mad look in his eyes.
"Wait, Lloyd!" Colette yelled. "We can't open any present until Santa comes!"
"Yay, Santa!" Genis jumped up and down. In the excitement, a fireball was launched from his kendama. It flew straight into the Christmas tree, which immidiately was caught on fire. Ten seconds later, all that remained was a pile of smoking ash.
"Yes, it's a tradition to light the Christmas tree... but not like that."
"Sorry, Raine! Where's Santa?"
"He should be here any minute..." Colette said, looking through the schedule she had made up. Not only had she decorated the whole inn, she had also planned the celebration.
"These cookies are good!" Sheena said, stuffing her mouth full of christmas cookies. Zelos jaw was still hurting, so he sat with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.
"How does this...Santa Claus look?" Presea asked.
"He wears red clothes, a red hat and..." Colette was interrupted.
A piece of the roof suddenly crashed to the floor. All eyes in the room turned upwards (Except for Regal's, they were mostly admiring the insides of his eyelids) and they saw a dark figure stand on the roof. Snow whirled inside, and the figure jumped down and landed gracefully on both feet.
It was Santa Claus alright. But not in a traditional outfit. It was different, to say the least. Santa was wearing tight jeans, a long red coat with flashing letters on the back saying "Funky Santa" and he had the largest afro mankind had ever laid its eyes upon. His eyes were covered by enormous sunglasses and he was chewing on a straw. He put a boot on the table, and shoved up the sack with the presents.
Colette grabbed "Funky Santa" and pulled him next to her.
"Kratos, what are you doing!" She whispered in his ear. "I said: Take a Santa outfit and make a flashy entrance! I did not say: Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you come crashing through the roof like some Godfather of Funk with the ugliest boots in history?"
"I like my boots." Kratos whispered back. "I thought this would..."
"Alright, alright. Just play along now. You've just scarred Genis for life." Colette smiled towards the rest, then added: "Raine will kill you."
"If I'd gotten a Gald for every time I've heard that, I'd be..."
"Just do it!"
"Of course..Um..." Kratos cleared his throat. "Ho-ho-how are you doing people? I've got presents for ya! Ho-ho!"
"Somebody kick Regal." Sheena said. Regal was snoring on the couch. Lloyd stabbed him with a wooden sword, causing him to sit right up.
"Is there a Genis Sage here?" Kratos, alias "Funky Santa" announced in his deepest voice.
"Me! Me!" Genis exclaimed. "I'm Genis!"
Kratos threw the gift in Genis head, causing him to fly across the whole room, crashing straight into the wall. Genis just got up as if nothing happened and started to open his present.
"THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Lloyd announced after recieving a book titled "How To Cheat On A Test- Twelve Simple Steps". "But wait a second... That means I got to read it. NO!"
And that Christmas Eve continued in positive spirit, made unforgettable by a Funky Santa and the best of friends. Whenever life is tough, just remember that theres nothing the help of a good friend can't cure.
That was Chapter 11! A Christmas special after Christmas, not bad! Tune in next time for Summer Special! Uh, not really, but if I want to get it done in time, I better start now.
Back to regular storyline next time, will the band be able to escape the manic Wonder Chef?
Sit tight, and rock on! -DW