My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device

My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device

by Toonspew

Chapter 1

Jenny sighed happily, eyes closed, basking in the warmth tingling through her metallic skin. Sensations like this were still new to Jenny, and as a result she had a tendency to become lost in them. Sometimes she thought there would be nothing more pleasant then to just stretch out on a clear day and enjoy the breeze brushing past her face and the sun's rays glinting off her body.

"Okay, I'm all set, let's go!" said Brad enthusiastically, closing the front door of his house behind him and waking Jenny from her daydream. The two friends walked quickly towards school, both eager to begin the new school year. It had been a whole summer since they had seen many of their friends, and plus there was the added excitement of finding out what teachers they had, who was in all their classes, and all the other hubbub of the new semester. Brad and Jenny talked excitedly as they walked, catching up on their adventures from the summer. "So is summer camp as fun as it looks?" inquired Jenny.

"It was a blast," replied Brad. "There were tons of sports and swimming and ghost stories and camping and... fun! I can hardly wait to go back next summer. Then I'll be old enough to work as a counselor there."

"Wow, I'm so jealous," Jenny said with a hint of dejection. "I was stuck here in Tremorton all summer. Well, except for trips for superhero stuff, but that's not really the same."

"The best part was the times the guys and me sneaked across the lake to go visit the girls' camp." Brad grinned.

Jenny looked at him with a confused look on her face. "Why were you in separate camps? They kept the girls on the other side of the lake?"

"Ahhh..." Brad stalled. "What did you do over the summer? I'll bet I missed some awesome superhero-fights, right?"

Jenny nodded "Here and there... mostly Cluster attacks, plus the return of Himculese. Most of the big stuff was over in Japan, actually." Jenny clutched her knapsack tighter, fidgeting. "To be honest it was pretty quiet, compared to the norm. Maybe super-villains don't like the heat."

"Oh. So then, how did you spend your free time?" asked Brad, "Helping your mom with scientist stuff?"

"No, I didn't see a lot of mom actually. I mean, I got my annual upgrade and I'd see her around the house and all, but she spends a lot of time over at Sheldon's place now. You see, the school got Sheldon a co-op student placement summer job, and it ended up being as my mom's assistant. So now they're working on something in his garage."

"Any idea what it is?" asked Brad, curious.

"Nope. Mom says I'm not allowed, whenever I'm around Sheldon gets distracted and can't work. Which is a relief for me anyway. I'd rather not spend my day listening to stories about comic book characters and trying not to think about the shrine in his closet." Jenny had a shudder pass through her, finding Sheldon's attention to her far more creepy then flattering.

Brad flashed his usual knowing smile, well practiced to present the illusion that he knew much more about a situation then he let on. "That boy sure has it bad for you," he stated, as if it was a profound insight. Jenny frowned and didn't reply, letting the subject drop. Brightening, she decided to change the subject. "You didn't ask me about my upgrade yet!"

Brad smiled, "Oh yeah! So out with it then. What'd you get? Is it X-ray vision? 'Cause that'd be so cool..." Brad made little circles with his thumbs and index fingers, wearing them on his face in a pantomime of goggles.

"No no... remember those faulty touch receptors I tried on last year? Well mom finally finished and installed them! You can't see them now because they're attached just under my external casing, but they're there. I'm still working my way through all the sensations: so far I've tried hot, cold, wind, soft, wet, fuzzy, sharp, itch, sticky, rough, and electrical shock. It's been fun finding new combinations all the time: for example, getting my morning wax & buff is a whole different experience..." Jenny's eyes half closed dreamily as she grinned at the memory.

Brad cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "Oh yeah? So does... tickle still work?" Before she could answer Brad launched a tickling attack, squirming his fingers rapidly over Jenny's exposed midriff and making the robotic girl shriek.

Laughing hard and feebly trying to push Brad away, Jenny pleaded, "Yes, yes, it works! It works! Hahahahaha, please stop, hahaha!" Jenny fell off the sidewalk and onto the grass, clutching her sides to protect them from Brad's assault. When she had calmed down Brad stepped closer and extended his hand to help her up. "Oh, and now I'm supposed to trust you to be gentlemanly?" quipped Jenny, even as she took his hand and was helped to her feet.

Standing, Jenny waited for Brad to respond with a joke and was surprised when none came. She looked up into Brad's eyes and found her own voice momentarily gone, confused by a completely new facial expression on Brad that she didn't recognize. She searched his features for some clue until Brad, startled, looked away, a hint of red in his cheeks.

"Ah, Jenny...?" Jenny tilted her head to one side slightly, questioningly. "You can let go of my hand now."

Coming to her senses, Jenny quickly released her grip on Brad's hand and pulled her arm back against her chest, holding it with her other hand. "Aheheheh..." Jenny stammered. "Another new sensation," she lied, covering her embarrassment. Brad replied with a quick nod, starting towards school again in an attempt to overcome the awkward moment. Jenny did a quick check of her internal clocks: the whole exchange had only lasted 2.4 seconds, so why had it felt like so much longer?

As Tremorton high came into view, Brad made one last ditch effort for a normal conversation with his friend. "So, you never did tell me how you spent your time during the summer?" Jenny thought for a moment, rummaging through her memory files and totaling up how many hours she spent at various activities.

There were internal and external systems checks performed in front of her mirror to make sure she maintained a fighting-trim physique; there were hours spent ingesting cans of motor oil while stretched out in front of the television, then more hours in the chemical shower washing the dirty bits of oil that collected in her joints as her system worked the lubricant through her body over the course of a day. There were afternoons she had passed playing silly games with Tuck, and there were a few disastrous attempts at mingling with the teenagers who were hanging out at the beach. She remembered being extremely proud of her attempt to reshape her blue skirt and top into a blue metallic two piece bikini – she actually thought she looked quite attractive in it. Unfortunately she wasn't nearly as buoyant as the other swimmers, and her bikini-design had allowed grains of sand to work their way into portions of her anatomy that were normally kept hermetically sealed. In the end it had been a discouraging, and rather uncomfortable experience.

But, when all her summer hours had been tallied up, one activity occupied the bulk of her free time: locking herself in her room and poring over a messy stack of teen magazines and cutouts of her favorite crushes. What could she say? Jenny had entered a phase where she could easily be called "boy crazy." Her earliest saves were hunky male models from her fashion magazines and sensitive-looking actors from the most popular "chick-flicks." Her favorite was a Latino character actor "Sancho" who had starred in action films early in his career then made a move to passionate romance films. Then, about the same time she began attending high school, the majority of the clippings switched over to pictures of Don Prima, the resident popular, snobby and attractive rich boy. Even though she knew he had plenty of bad qualities, Jenny had still been nuts over Don... she still was, really. If he had asked her out today she would have said yes.

But Don was no longer her sole interest: recently, a new robotic superhero had moved in to Tremorton and set up shop. His name was the Silver Shell, and from the moment Jenny laid eyes on him she had felt like she was walking on air – sometimes literally, when her flight systems kicked in accidentally. Jenny knew she should've been at least mildly displeased that another superhero was horning in on her "turf," as there was a certain point of pride about a superhero being competent enough to keep her home city safe, but Jenny didn't really care in the slightest. She was simply thrilled to have a cute robot boy in town who, as far as Jenny could tell, was single. He hadn't responded to Jenny's advances yet, but Jenny knew it was only a matter of time. After all, it's not like there were any other robot girls in the area, and Jenny hadn't picked up even a blip on her internal gaydar.

Jenny had never attempted to track Silver Shell to his home base, she felt little need. Fate seemed to have a way of making their paths cross again and again, and in the meantime Jenny had started a sizable collection of newspaper clippings from each public appearance SS made. This is how most of her summer had been spent; lying prone on her bed or reclining in her beanbag chair with clippings of Silver Shell spread out all around her as she ogled the smooth curves of his chassis and the shapes of the bulging servos hidden just under his armored outer skin.

Often Jenny liked to lay back and turn her dream chip on to it's lowest setting, crafting a customized fantasy about her crush. Most often it started with her surrounded by a horde of Cluster warriors, fighting a losing battle. Then, out of the mist the Silver Shell would arrive, often riding the mechanical bull that he'd been wrestling when she had first met him. He would charge in, knocking Cluster flunkies aside, then side by side the two of them would defeat their enemies and save the day. SS would then turn and embrace her, and the two would share a passionate robotic kiss. "You have the most beautiful optics," he would say, followed by "You must've been assembled in heaven," or sometimes "Was your designer an artist?"

Whatever sweet nothings Jenny could imagine at the time.

Over the course of the summer her fantasies had grown more and more elaborate. At first she altered it so that Silver Shell's torso armoring would be damaged during the fight, and afterwards Jenny would remove it to check for internal damage, stripping his upper half down to bare external casing. Next she altered her fantasy to imagine groping his rear while they kissed, her hands gently squeezing his cute little bumper to her heart's content. In her most recent edit she had him returning the favor, sneaking the back of her skirt up and placing his hands around her upper thighs, then stroking his way inward, moving between her legs...

Jenny's eyes snapped wide open as she realized that Brad was still waiting for her answer. She had slowed down her memory playback to the point where she was moving through her fantasy sequence in real time, and had spent the last 45 seconds or so in a daydream. "Reading." she blurted out, scrambling for something to say, "I spent most of my time reading... literature. And history."

Brad gave her a confused and slightly annoyed look, then pushed open the school's front door. "Whatever," he said dismissively. "I'll see you in third period math!" he added before running off down a hallway and heading for homeroom. Jenny glanced up at a wall clock and saw she had a minute and a half before she would be late. "Perfect, just enough time," she thought to herself, ducking into the girls' washroom and finding an empty stall.

Jenny took a seat on the toilet lid and hiked up her skirt around her hips, already spotting a trickle of fluid slowly making it's way down her inner thigh. "I was afraid of this," she thought in frustration, grabbing a handful of toilet paper and mopping up the leak. "Every time I start to think about touching Silver Shell, I start leaking this... fluid!" Jenny dragged the wad of toilet paper up across her thigh back to the source of the leak, where it was dripping from the side of her Traffic Halting and Odor Neutralizing Garment. Releasing the catches on either side of the garment, Jenny pulled away the front panel, stretching out a slimy strand of the viscous fluid from the soiled T.H.O.N.G. to her waste elimination port, which was sluggishly pumping out the clear liquid. Gathering up more tissue Jenny mopped up the mess, cleaning her garment as best as she could and stemming the flow from her body. "Come on, just think of anything but Silver Shell!" she told herself, fighting back the flow with her force of will. "Think about school, busting meteors, saving people, Bradley... err, better not think about Brad." Finally the fluid seemed to dry up and Jenny tossed the damp wad of tissue paper into the toilet.

Jenny stood up and reattached the front half of her undergarment, wincing "Ewwwwww..." as she felt the damp device snap shut against her body. "Sometimes I wish I didn't have the nerves installed," she joked bitterly to herself. Straightening her skirt she made sure everything looked presentable. On her way to class Jenny tried her best not to show her embarrassment. She hadn't even told her mother and creator, Mrs. Wakeman, about any of this. On top of the shame of having somehow damaged her waste port, arguably her most private of functions, she would also have to own up to having a daydream about fondling a boy as the cause behind the malfunction! Or at least, Jenny could only assume it was a result of her daydreams, since the two seemed connected. A new thought entered her mind now: had she damaged her port somehow, perhaps while changing her undergarment? Or washing herself? What if a shard of corroded metal had gotten lodged up there, and she was rusting internally at this very moment?!

"Get a grip girl. You can investigate this more when you get home." Steeling herself, Jenny pressed on into her first class of the day. The first thing her eyes fell upon was what she had dreaded most: the majority of the students in the class were bunched up in one corner of the class, hovering around Brittany and Tiffany Crust, laughing and smiling and fascinated by their every word. Jenny groaned, knowing this was going to be a difficult way to start the year. Still though, if she didn't make some friends now she'd be a loner in this class the whole semester, so Jenny approached the crowd and attempted to join the conversation.