Author's Note: It's been a while guys, and sorry to say, I can't find inspiration anymore. Something that drove me went missing. But I found something I wanted to work with: Full Moon wo Sagashite. I just couldn't simply leave the ending as it was. I guess you could say this is my take on the last episode and beyond.
Warning: May contain spoilers for those who have not finished the story.
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Full Moon wo Sagashite. I just like the characters. FMwS is copyrighted by Tanemura Arina.
Yuki no Youni Shiroi
White as Snow
The sun merely fell to time's passing, sleepless night finally having ended. The dawn colors faded, the world within mere tones of grey, no longer held power against a suffering soul. There was no beauty for someone without the capacity to witness it. There was no life for someone who wanted to search to understand.
I closed my eyes, unable to look at myself, reflection and all within the mirror. Almost shaking hands stroked the hand-made doll, a rabbit, small in size, but it was a precious item. Its twin had disappeared, and gone with the one who it had been given to. His name flew across my mind, prone to be accompanied by the worry that followed.
"Where are you?"
To have the one who held your cracked heart together gone, someone who left after it had already begun healing. The tears had fallen already, and no more came to the surface, like a waterfall that had its stream cut off. Memories came once again, and for the umpteenth time since my final appearance as Full Moon, I felt the pain come again.
"Forget it," he whispered, his face unable to be seen, as I was reluctant to turn around. He had done so much... But this reason made me stir, a deep down feeling that I had just begun to notice.
My eyes were still closed, restful body against the chill morning air. The symbolistic plushie was clutched tightly in my hands, as if it was a lifeline. Lips were cold against the delicious wind, passing without a care, only to see the world through its view of an impassive bystander.
"Mitsuki-san?" The voice was soft, gently calling out from behind the door. "Breakfast has been prepared. Please, come eat."
The door opened, revealing an already immaculately dressed woman in the later stages of her life. Placing down the soft item on the floor, I stood, and followed her to the main house. Another reminder that I still had yet to move in. Feet hit the blurry ground, sinking into the snow that might have once been beautiful in my eyes. This was the second time which I had felt such an emptiness in my breast, the feeling of both tightness and nothing all at once. The air felt thin, as if trying to breath deeply wasn't possible.
The only barely acknowledged the heat of the main house, barely managing to sit and begin eating without tripping on a table leg or a chair. Dining had become a tiresome affair these past few... Days? No, weeks. I can barely acknowledge the little thoughts in my head telling me to eat, for nothing was stronger than the pain in my chest, constricting, taking hold, and never letting go.
The soft clink of chopsticks hitting their place on the holder was the only sound, as both the maid and my grandmother looked at me, pausing in their own consumption.
"Mitsuki, done already? You've barely touched your fish..."
The gentle voice reached my ears, and I did not turn around before replying.
"Obaa-san, I am not feeling hungry at all, I ate what I could. I'll be retiring to my room now," came my faint voice, echoing around in the silent rom.
I knew the formality in which I had addressed her was quite cold indeed, but I there was nothing I could do about it - The bitterness at the loss of my second love kept me from being who I used to be. I wish, everyday, that I had found him that week after my operation. The memory almost violently took me back to that one moment of hope, only to have it crushed. Losing sight of him within the crowd, I had not been able to run any further. When I had made my way back home again, I was almost too tired to cry. I felt tears escaping, flowing down my cheek, yet I only felt the solid blackness that had built up ever since I realized he would be gone.
My hand reached to open the door to the back yard, but stopped before it could slide the thing open. The TV from one of the rooms droned on and on, but one word had caught my attention. Takuto.
Whirling, I turned on my toes and walked quickly towards the source of the sound. Standing infront of the machine, I watched as a video clip played. The main focus was a teen, dressed in a suit, although his blue hat betrayed his true feelings towards formal wear. Dark hair, shining in the sunlight, as he exited a building for SEED recording studios. I could never forget that smile of his, as well as the trademark blue cap.
A gasp escaped me, as I continued to stare at the screen even after the section had been done. I never even noticed what I was doing until my feet hit the cold of the ground outside, white billowing down and adding more layers to the deep snow. Shoes barely sufficing as protection, I almost slammed the door shut on my way back into my room. Falling backwards onto the futon in the middle of the room, the heaviness in my heart was lifted slightly.
'Strength will come back to me,' I thought, shifting my weight occasionally. 'Then I'll go look for Takuto.'
Despite the light outside, eyelids closed as I felt a wave of fatigue. At first there was only my breathing, and the soft hum of the heater in the room, as I focused on trying to sleep.