Title: Saying Goodbye Part 1Rating: PG
Disclaimers: All characters of Stargate SG-1 are property of MGM, Gekko Productions, and the Sci-Fi Channel. I promise I'll put them all back in their proper form when I'm finished. You may recognize some quotes, as well, from the episode. I only WISH I wrote those words! Enjoy:o)
"It's all right, Janet. I know you're doing everything you can for me."
Janet continued to jot down notes in his chart. Tears were forming in her eyes. "Daniel..."
He placed his hand on hers to still them. "Janet, look at me. Janet." When she finally did, tears burst. "Hey."
"Daniel, this is so unfair! We had plans for the future and you're just taking this lying down! There has to be some way to help you!"
"Janet, like I told Jack, we can't go running to our off world allies every time someone gets hurt."
She fixed him with a glare. "I know. I spoke with Colonel O'Neill. Please don't think like that, Daniel. Your life is very important! Without you, we wouldn't even have these allies!"
Daniel wanted to believe her, but he couldn't. Not when he felt like a complete failure. Her sigh broke him from his reverie. She glanced behind her to see Colonel O'Neill. "I'll leave you two."
Jack smiled sadly at her and sat down in front of Daniel. "So..."
Janet left the two alone and immediately entered her office. She needed to call Cassie. What was she going to tell her? This time Daniel was going to die and this time there was nothing she could do to prevent it.
She took a deep breath and picked up the phone. She hated to bother her daughter while at school, but she also didn't want Cassie to see Daniel when he got worse. "Hello, this is Janet Frasier. There's been an emergency in the family. I was going to send a friend of mine out there to pick up my daughter, Cassandra."
"Of course, Dr. Frasier. We'll inform her right away."
"Thank you. Jack O'Neill will be there shortly." She hung up a few minutes later to see the man in question leaning against the door frame. "Colonel."
"How are you holding up?"
"Pretty well considering. I hope you don't mind me volunteering you to pick up Cassie. I just don't want to leave Daniel right now."
He shook his head. "Not at all," he replied. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
"What's that?" she asked, picking up a file and paging through it.
"How long have you and Daniel been seeing each other?"
Janet's head snapped up. How had he known? They tried very hard to keep their relationship quiet. "Sir?"
"I'm sorry. I sort of overheard your conversation with Daniel earlier. You gotta remember that this infirmary has ears as well."
She blushed slightly. "Well, I guess it's water under the bridge, Sir. Nothing's going to happen now. Daniel's going to die and I'll be left alone again."
Jack walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey! Don't say things like that! Daniel will always be in your heart. And he's not the only one here. You have friends who care about you very much. You also have a daughter who loves you more than anything in this world. Don't forget that."
Cassie was in full pacing mode by the time Jack arrived at the main office. She pounced on him, question after question pouring out. "Cass, calm down! I promise I'll explain everything as soon as we get back to the car."
She noticed his eyes pointing out that they had an audience. It was a good thing she didn't blurt out anything that would compromise national security. The NID would probably be on her ass so quickly, she wouldn't have time to think!
Jack was awfully quiet as he lead her to his truck. She also saw that he looked almost sick to his stomach. What could possibly have happened? "Jack?" She said once they were seated and he had started the engine. "What's going on?"
"Cass, there was an incident off world."
"What kind of incident? Is everyone all right? Mom said it was an emergency. Is it Sam?"
He shook his head. "No, she and Teal'c are all right."
"Yeah," Jack replied. "It's bad this time, Cassie."
Cassie swallowed around the lump in her throat. "How bad?"
"Daniel was exposed to a lethal dose of radiation."
"Lethal? As in, he's going to DIE?"
This had to be a dream, right? Daniel didn't die. He always lived to teach her more about the world she had come to love so much. She now realized why Jack looked ready to throw up because she was feeling the same way.
"Let's go see him, Jack."
That was the extent of their conversation. The pair drove in silence until the shrill ring of Jack's cell phone made them both jump. "O'Neill. Yeah. We're on our way right now. Sure, hold on. Cassie, it's Sam."
"Sam?" Jack could hear her voice full of emotion as she talked. "I know. Uh huh. Tell him for me? Thanks. Bye."
Cassie set the phone down and looked over at Jack. He smiled sadly at her and took her hand, holding it tightly. "We'll get through this together," He told her.
Janet remembered the conversation she had with Sam earlier. Sedatives and pain killers were all they could give Daniel. There was absolutely no way to help him short of... God, she hated just thinking about it!
"Mom!" Cassie exclaimed, rushing to Janet and hugging her tightly. She could feel her shaking. The young girl just held her Mother, not really certain what to say.
After a few minutes, Janet had calmed down. She kissed Cassie on the cheek. "Are you all right?" she asked.
"I guess. I just can't believe that he's really going to die this time. Mom, I wanna see him!"
"I knew you would, but you have to remember that he won't look the same as he did last week."
Cassie nodded. "I realize that. I'm ready. Do I look like I've been crying? I don't want Daniel to know I have been. I wanna be strong for him."
"You look beautiful, sweetheart." Janet took her daughter's hand and the pair went to see Daniel. She could feel Cassie's hold tighten so Janet gave her a reassuring smile.
Cassie almost cried as she stepped up to his bedside, but she held her tears in and smiled at her friend. From the start, he was the only one who had listened and talked to her as a grown up and she respected him for it so much. To see all that pain in his eyes when he looked up at her, she could no longer fight the tears.
"Daniel... I'm sorry."
"For what, crying? It's all right, Cass. I'd probably be crying too."
"Not very grown up of me, is it?"
Daniel smiled despite his pain. "We all need to act like a child every once in a while. I mean, look at Jack."
Cassie giggled. She took a breath and became serious again. "Thank you for everything, Daniel. For telling me about Earth and for being a great friend, not just to me, but my Mom too. I would have loved to have been your daughter."
"The feeling is mutual, Cass. I love you and your Mom so very much. That's what makes this so hard. I hate the fact that I'm leaving you both. Forgive me?"
"There's nothing to forgive," she replied. "I love you too!"
Cassie was heading to Daniel's isolation room when Sam ran by her. She looked so determined. Realizing that her friend was coming back, Cassie joined Jack in observation area.
"Hi, Jack," she said gloomily.
"Hey." He patted his lap. "Have a seat."
"Jack, I'm hardly a little girl anymore."
He shrugged. "I won't tell anyone."
Cassie smiled and sat down, leaning back against him. "What's Sam planning on doing? I saw her tear down the hall."
"She mentioned something about the healing device. She's not sure if it's even going to work, but she wants to give it a try. We contacted her Dad a while ago, but we haven't heard anything. He and Selmak would probably have a better chance, but Sam doesn't want to wait that long."
She nodded. "I hope it works, then."
"I want you to go back to my office."
"Just... please, honey."
Jack gave Cassandra another squeeze and let her up. As soon as she was out the door, he asked Janet why she sent her daughter away. "She should witness this if it's going to help Daniel."
"No," Janet replied. "We have no idea what kind of an effect this will have on him. I don't want her in here if something goes wrong."
Cassie stood at the door, listening to their conversation. Her Mom probably didn't think about that camera in her office. She knew what Sam was going to do and Jack was right, she wanted to watch it happen. She wanted to be there for Daniel.
Janet and Sam were sitting quietly in the observation room. They were both emotionally exhausted. Janet was mentally beating herself up for letting Sam try the healing device. True, she really did believe in Sam, but the results caused Daniel to slip into a coma.
"Sam, you couldn't have known that would happen."
"No, but I knew I wasn't as good with that thing as Kendra had been. My Dad is on his way here, I should have waited. He and Selmak should be able to do it. God, I feel so stupid!"
Janet placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "You know Daniel wouldn't say that to you, right? He's grateful that we're all trying our hardest to save him." She looked down at him. "Truthfully, I don't think he wants to be saved."
"You love him, don't you?"
"So much it hurts." Sam put her arm around her friend's shoulder as she cried. "Cassie has been so strong for me. I won't be able to get through this myself if she doesn't start telling us how she's feeling. I want my little girl to be all right. She's lost too many people in her life already."
"She'll be fine, Janet. We all will. It just may take some time."
"Jonas Quinn is here." Janet turned to see Jack behind her. "He told us what really happened. I wanted you to know."
Janet took a deep breath and nodded. "Before you say anything, I want Cassie to hear it. She should be in my base quarters."
"Okay, let's go there."
"Hey!" Cassie said, opening the door. She stepped back to let her Mom and Jack into the room.
"Cass, that man from Kelowna is here. He told Jack what happened."
Cassie's face grew red. "And the you believe him, Jack? How? Daniel would never do anything like that and you know it!"
"Cassie," Janet said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Calm down and let Jack speak."
"Sorry," She muttered.
Jack smiled and gave her hug. Mother and daughter sat down as Jack told them what Daniel did to save the Kelownans and the rest of SG-1. He risked everything and those people wanted to blame him for their mistakes!
Janet's heart swelled even more for the man she loved. Cassie's quiet voice shook her from her reverie. "Yeah, honey?"
"Mom, there's something I wanted to tell you. I-I watched everything that happened earlier on the video feed in your office..."
Jack decided he should leave Mother and daughter alone and quietly left the room. Jacob Carter would be arriving soon and he wanted to be the first to tell him what was going on.
Janet nodded to Jacob as he entered. She glanced up at Cassie in the observation area. She now realized that she couldn't keep her daughter out of there and she needed to see this no matter what the outcome.
"His condition's grave," Selmak said, "I do not know if I can restore him to his full healthy state."
Sam nodded slowly. "Just do what you can."
It was working... for the most part. Janet could tell just by looking at the monitors. But when Jack's voice filled the room with the one word she didn't want to hear, she thought she was going to scream.
"Are you serious?"
"It's what he wants."
Janet was looking wildly back and forth at the two men before her. How did Jack know that's what he wanted! There was so much for him to live for! How could he possibly want to leave them?
"Does someone else want to tell me what to do?" He asked, looking directly at Janet.
"Just let him go," Jack replied.
And time was suddenly standing still for Janet as the monitors signaled the end to Daniel's life. "Colonel!"
Before anyone could respond, Daniel's body turned into a brilliant light. A million thoughts went through Janet's mind. She watched in awe as it disappeared through the walls.
Daniel was gone, but was he dead? She just didn't understand it. "I...Excuse me."
"Janet!" Sam cried out.
"Leave her alone for now, Sam."
"I spoke with Daniel. This is what he wanted. We may never understand why, but there you go."
Teal'c nodded. "Perhaps DanielJackson was feeling inadequate."
"What do you mean by that, Teal'c?" Jacob wanted to know.
"Recently he has spoken to me of his frustrations. How he felt that nothing he's done had changed anything. How hard he fought to save Sha're only to have lost her. I tried to convince him that he has changed many things, but he would not listen?"
Jack was a little angry and just now hearing this piece of information. "Why didn't you say something?"
Teal'c was unphased by his tone. He knew how irrational humans acted when friends or family died. "He asked me to keep our conversation in confidence, O'Neill."
"Teal'c don't worry about it," Sam said. "It's not your fault Daniel was feeling that way. We all should have seen something. If you'll excuse me, I'm going outside to take a walk."
"Take all the time you need, Colonel. You too, Major, Teal'c."
"Thank you, Sir."
Hammond sighed and looked over at Jacob as the rest of SG-1 filed out. "Are you all right?"
He nodded. "George, I didn't want to tell them, but Selmak was wrong. He misjudged the state of his injuries. That device would have completely cured him."
"Let's just leave that to us for now, Jacob. I believe that if any one of them, Janet Frasier included, knew that, Selmak would be ripped from your spinal cord."
She sat unnoticed in the observation room. She knew about it all. She knew that Daniel had died, she knew that Daniel was one of those "light beings" like the one that Sam had met, she knew that if Daniel had Selmak finish the job, he would still be alive right now.
She was angry. Angry at Selmak. Angry at Jack. Angry at her Mother. But most of all, she was angry at Daniel. How could he be so selfish? There were people who cared about him! There were people who knew how hard he was trying to rid the universe of the Goa'uld!
"Damn you, Daniel Jackson!" she cursed.
From the Author: Uh oh! Someone has issues! I plan on expanding on Cassie's feelings more in the next chapter. It will also take "Fallen" in another context. Any questions or thoughts, you can email me at sam.carter.sg1 at