Hello! I noticed that many fics in Naruto are something like this: There is this über-Mary-Sue-kunoichi that knows every damn powerful move in the book, blah blah blah... There are exceptions, though. Here's my version of a normal girl's life in Konohagakure, as told by Kajitsu. Enjoy! Oh yeah, and I'll send Pakkun and Gamabunta after the evil flamers. Ho ho ho.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, don't bitch about it to me. I do own Kaba Kajitsu (OC), Toya Yui (OC) and Hanahime Mayu (OC), so no stealy!
"Kajitsu! Up! NOW!" I heard someone shout. I groan and turn to my right, and fall back to sleep.
"KAJITSU!" I hear again, this time next to my ear. I swear, the woman I call my mother is going to make me deaf.
"I'M UP!" I shout back and glare at my mother. She's a nice woman, during the daytime. On mornings and nights... Ech. The woman that stands before me, her hands on her hips and glares me with equal strenght has black hair, pulled up onto a bun, brown eyes and she stands about 5"7'. She's wearing what any mother wears at... 11 in the morning: A green T-shirt, simple green pants and a white apron. She's also wearing white socks.
"Kajitsu, I understand that it's weekend, you don't have to work today and you're 20, but could you PLEASE do what you promised?" She asked and sighed deeply. What did I... Oh yeah! Shopping!
"Yes, mother, just gimme a sec to do my rituals." I said and dragged my body from my bed. I stood up, towering over mother. Yeah, I'm a "one tall bitch", as my friends put it. I'm about 5"10'. I think I got that gene from my father. I usher my mother out of my room, and go to my closet. I pick up a tanktop with a leaf on it in dark green, and the top is dark grey. I also take out my deep green capris and my dear hoodie-jacket, also dark green. I like earthy colors, so sue me blind and call me grandma. I take a glimpse at myself from my long mirror. Medium build, some muscles, a bit curly, hazel-colored hair and brown eyes. Tan complex and about a C-cup. Few things I hate about me: My freckles and my glasses. I'm about as blind as a mute bat in a dark cave and I have a small amount of freckles on my face, across my nose and a little below both of my eyes. I stuck my tongue out to my reflection and watch it mimic me. I had slept in baby-blue sphagetti-strap top and baby-blue shorts.
So, I take my towel and swagger to the bathroom door. I try the handle. It opens, and I go in. No one's there, so I take off my PJs and turn on the shower. I wait for a while for the water to be the right temperature, and then slip in. The warm water cascades down my body, washing my waryness off. After about 15 minutes of showering, I turn it off and pick up my towel. I dry my hair and then the rest of my body. I take my black robe and wrap myself into it. Reaching to the cabinet, I take out my toothbrush, wet it, put some minty toothpaste in it and brush my teeth. Has anyone ever noticed that you look like you have rabies every time you brush your teeth? Putting the toothbrush away and spitting the paste away, I take the blowdryer and try to dry my thick hair. My hand tries to find a brush as I gaze my reflection. I find it and begun to brush my hair clear from knots. It went okay. Until I felt my hand leave my hair too easily. I look at my brush, or what's left of it. The heavy sensation in my hair means only one thing. The brush broke again. In my hand is the handle of the brush, and in my hair is the brush-part of the brush. Sighing, I tear the brush out of my hair and put it back into the handle, looking as sour as possible.
After I blow-dried my hair dry (and broke the brush extra 2 times) I walked to my room. Throwing the robe off, I slipped into my black undergarments and put on some deodorant. Putting on my capris and my shirt, I tie the belt-ribbons in my capris close and put on my hoodie. After putting my hair on a high ponytail and putting on my round glasses, I head downstairs. After mom practically showed some toast and orange juice down my throath, she hands me the shoppinglist and some money. I asked whether I could buy a new brush and some candy, she agreed. I said good-mornings and good-byes to my father, slipped on my flip-flops, took my keys and slinked out of the door. I found myself facing the bustling streets of Konohagakure, the ninja-village. Behind me is my family's shop, a restaurant. On the sign, there read with big, cat-sized letters: "Kaba no inshokuten" (Kaba's Restaurant.). Kinda lame. I was going to say we'd name it "The Dragon's Birch" or something like that. Yeah, that was lame too.
"Hi, girl!" I said as my mixed breed dog Tsume barked from her doghouse. She was about the size of a German shepard, and looked like on too, except she was earth brown with black things on her fur. Her foodbowl and waterbowl are filled, so I leave and enter the streets. The Konohagakure is a nice place, but I can't help but feel paranoid with all the ninjas around. I turn to a deserted street and walk forth, my hands shoved into my pantpockets and my empty shoppingbag on my arm. I swear I heard someone else's footsteps on the pavement. I turn my head around, and I see a kid who hurriedly masks himself under some fabric, assuming that he's actually blending with the road.
'Seriously, who does he think he's cheating?' I think and my eye twitches. After I began walking again, I heard the kid again. This time I spun around completely, and saw the kid trying to mask himself into a fence, holding up a cloth. The planks in the cloth went horizontally, while the real planks went vertically. Again, my eye twitched.
"Hey kid, who do you think you're kidding with that?" I asked and raised an eyebrow at him.
"Impressive, you saw through my disguise without even being a ninja." He mused and peeled himself off the fence.
"So I've decided; You can hang with me today!" He said and pointed at me. Snort.
"Uh, no offence, kid, but I have errands to run, so..." I said and pointed behind me and began walking backwards. Since I really don't have any eyes in the back o' my head, I backed right into someone. Owch. Definetly a ninja. I felt like I just walked into a frickin' brickwall. Fearing the worst, my head turns around and is met with a stern face. He has sunglasses, he is wearing an all-blue uniform and (fuck no!) a hitai-ate. Greaaat.
"Eh, Gomenasai." I said and lifted my left hand as a gesture of sorry-ness. "I'll just be going now..." Laughing nervously, I go around him and start moving again. Only to run into someone else.
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" I groan outloud as I peel myself off the person. Infront of me was a man with his hitai-ate tied like a bandanna over his head, a straw in his mouth and a jounin attire.
"What the fuck's today? The official 'annoy-the-shit-outta-Kajitsu'-day or something?" I ask and yet again, my eye twitches. I seem to like the word "fuck" these days...
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be on your way." The guy says and lifts his hands infront of him to gesture surrendering, smiling.
"Sure ya didn't." I mutter under my breath and walk around him and continue my walking. After walking a feet or so, I feel as though someones watching me. I stop.
"You three, eyes off the ass, now." I say, and turn my head to see the three males. They all seem to be watching something else, other than my butt. Snort. All I wanted to do is go shopping, damnit, but noooo, I literally run into two ninjas and have to stand for their intrest in female body. Argh. After the alley ends, I take a turn right and continue to the market. I enter and the small bell jingles. Everyone turns to stare at me. I notice that the whole damn shop is full of ninjas. Yay, that's all this Kajitsu needs! More ninjas! Digging up the shoppinglist, I browse through the list. I was going to do it on the way here, but some people decided to grace me with their presence... Let's see... Tomatoes, noodles, onions, cucumber, milk, bamboo, seaweed, sake, dishwasher soap, trashbags... And my brush and chocolate. I grab a basket and begin to assemble these ingredients into the basket. I also grab some ice cream. It's one of those fruit-flavoured and long one. I go to the cashier and show them the ice cream, and pile my stuff on to the counter. I unwrap the ice cream, and proceed into eating it. I lick it and suck it a little.
"Maa, that feels so good!" I say happily and lick it again.
"I bet it does." The cashier, my friend Yui says and smirks.
"Uh-huh..." I say in a dreamy voice and lick it even more suggestively. Yui erupts into laughters, and I glance around the shop. All the guys are loking at me weirdly, and swallowing. I look back at Yui, and she shoots a glance at me, we both spelling out 'are-you-thinking-what-I'm-thinking'. I wink and bite my bottom lip.
"So when do you get off, Yui-chan?" I ask and put the ice cream into my mouth.
"Later, somewhere around 4 p.m." She says and slides the onions through the cashregister.
"Oh, but I can't wait that long! I wanna do a re-run of our night a little while ago!" I whine.
"Aww, you'll just have to, dear..." She says and smiles suggestively. Need I say that inside we are both laughing our heads off.
"Fine, fine. How 'bout tonight? I have the chocolate sauce and the other things. You bring the whipped cream and I'll see if Mayu-chan will get the fudge" I reply and steal a glance around the shop. O ho ho, we are so good at this! The expressions on the men's faces are priceless!
"Okay!" She says and I smirk.
"Laters, I'll go check on Mayu. If she agrees, we'll have fun threesome!" With the wave of my hand, I'm out of the store. I walk on the streets, and towards the bookshop. That's where I work, but right now, I'm on a small weekend-holiday. And again, people look at me funnily as I walk on the streets and eat my ice cream. I finish it, and leave the stick into my mouth. It's fun to chew the stick, so sue me. Upon entering the shop, Mayu greets me happily. Guess she was bored.
"Kajitus-chaaaan! What's uuuup!" Yikes. Guess hyperactivity and bookstores are not a match.
"Nothing much, Mayu-chan. Just shopping for mom. Any new books?"
"Yeah, one you might like. It's the new volume of Come Come Paradise." She says in a sing-along-voice. Yes, about time! May it sound strange, but I actually like those novels. Yes, they might be perverted, but still. We've had many good arguments with my friends wether some pose is actually possible.
"Oh goody! Can I have one? Pweeease?" Cutesy-face attack!
"Okay, you can have one copy. You've work hard enough. Here, have fun!" She says and hands the book over.
"Oh yeah, tonight at my place, MAJOR movie-night. You bring the fudge, I already have the ice cream and chocolate sauce. Yui-chan brings the whipped cream. Deal?"
"Okay! I'll come around 6 p.m, okay?"
"Okay!" I hug her, and then leave the store. I flip the book open and start to read it. As strange as it may sound, I dodge better when I'm reading. Nothing ever happens to me, I always get away in time. Fingering the stick in my mouth, I walk along the pavement, nose buried into the book. I don't know what's coming towards me, but it's coming fast.
"Look out!" I hear someone shout, but I take no action. As the object is about to hit me, I just grab it. I keep reading the book, flip the page, walk forth and scratch my head with the hand I caught the object into. Ahh, another physical impossibility in the book... Hold it, what did I catch? I tear my gaze out of my book, and look at my hand.
"Shit!" I shout and drop the object in my hand. It was a kunai. I stare at the object as it lay on the pavement, circling it like a cat circles a plate of hot porridge.
"Shit, fuck! Damn! Fucking hell! Oh, man!" My colorful language takes it's lead again. Tucking my book into the safety of my shopping bag, I pick it up again, shakily.
"Okay, who threw this!" I shout and look around. There are about three kids there. All ninjas. Great!
"I reckon it was one of you?" I ask and my eye twitches again. A raven haired boy steps up.
"So what if it was?"
"Now personally, I detest violence. But!" I start and walk to the boy. I bow to his eyelevel.
"If I ever see you throwing these things anywhere near me, I will shove one up your ass, rip your arms off and beat you to death with them! Have a nice day!" I conjur my most venomous voice and drop the kunai. I straighten up, and begin to walk away, flipping my book open. Just then, I hear a 'poof'-sound.
"Don't you dare to talk to Sasuke-kun like that!" I hear a girl shriek. Agh... A fangirl.
"Sasuke-kun, I really don't think she was kidding." A man says and I turn around. A new guy just got to the group. A tall man with silver hair in an impossible angle, his face practically covered up, just standing there, reading Come Come Paradise.
"Oi, Kakashi, she reads the same book you do!" The blonde boy says and points at me.
"The same book? No, no no no, this is the new book. That's the older one." I say and flip a page.
"Eh? The new one's out?" The man asked and looked at me.
"Yup, just got mine."
"Then that means that you are a pervert, like Kakashi!" The blonde shouts again and all the eyes are on me. I look at them, and then stroke my chin as if I'm thinking.
"Maa, pervert is such a strong word... I prefer 'admirer of human body' better. Toodle-loo!" I wave and begin to walk away. Still intrigued by the book, I keep reading, and...
"Can I help you?" I ask and stop. Right there behind me stands the man with silver hair, looking over my shoulder at my book. He grins sheepishly (or at least I think he does) and scratches the back of his head.
"Can I read that?" He asks and points at my book. And we're walking, we're walking...
"Nuh-uh! I'm in the middle of it!"
"Just a little peek?"
"No, go buy your own."
"Miss, I'm just a simple jounin..."
"...With higher salary than I have."
"I help keep this village safe?"
"Along with the other 1000 or so ninjas."
"I can carry your groceries?"
"You have a team to take care of."
"But they look so heavy..."
"I'm not weak, thank-you!"
"How 'bout I buy it from you?"
"No, go get your own copy from the shop over there."
"Hey! You!" Agh, I think I reckognise that voice... Indeed, the small kid from earlier was standing right infront of me. No, god, no...
"What's it now, pipsqueek?" The blonde boy begins to snicker behind me.
"I found you!" ...
"...I wasn't hiding."
"I found you anyways!" That does it. I picked the kid up from his collar, move him to my left and let go. He fell to the ground with a thud.
"How dare you treat Konohamaru-kun, the grandson of the third Hokage like this!" Oh, god, not another one.
"... 'Cause I can?"
"Hey, I like her attitude!" I hear the blonde boy say, and I hear a rather painful sound of a fist colliding with a head and some whining.
"And young women your age do not need this kind of crap." He says and yanks my volume of Come Come Paradise away from my hands. After a while of silence I turn to the silverhaired man.
"Could you hold my groceries? Thanks." I say and hand over the back. And back to the shades.
"Now. You can try to insult me, you can try to lecture me and you can try and mess with my mind, BUT YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE BOOK!"
"Aah, that felt so good!" I say and rub my sore knuckles. Infront of me lies the body of the man, beaten rather badly, and in my hand is my beloved book. Turning around, I see the shocked faces of the people around me. What?
"Dad's been training me in kung-fu since I was able to walk." I quickly explain and gesture the tall man to hand me the bag. He does, and I begin to walk away. I hum happily; heck I think I just release my stress into that guy.
"KABA KAJITSU!" I hear someone shout and I gringe. Oh, boy, storm front approaching.
"Yes, mother!" I shout back.
"I saw you fighting that ninja! Do you have a death-wish!" Mom shouted and ran at me.
"Chill? CHILL? I'LL SHOW YOU CHILL, YOU LITTLE...!"
"AIEE!" And thus, this little piggy went 'eek, eek, eek' all the way home.
Well, what did you think? Again, I can't promise that I'd heed all the ratings. Wait for the next chapter of:
As told by Kajitsu! creepy echo-effect