By: Lil' Inu-Yahsa
Hello. This is Kagome Higurashi. I know it seems repetitive to introduce myself again, but you'll see soon why I am doing this. I started writing of my exploits with Inu Yasha when I was only fifteen years old and a freshman in high school.
I am eighteen years old, and I am a senior.
Yes, it has been three years since I last added to this. Originally, this story was like a diary for me to vent my frustration, my joy, or my love because Inu Yasha responds negatively to all three. But he is so much better now.
He has been counseled a lot since he has been in the school he goes to now. Ms Aliah has helped him a whole lot and I am thankful to her and the other people who have helped Inu Yasha. Sometimes I tell her that it is her who really helped Inu Yasha and she once told me, "You know what Kagome? I had been counseling Inu Yasha for a long time before you came along, and never in my life have I made him light up like you have. I think he likes you."
I beamed and hugged her. She's good to Inu Yasha.
But Inu Yasha has had help from a lot of people. Even Sango comes and visits him once in a while as well too. He was put on a medication because he developed depression as a teenager and I think that that helped him too. At first, I didn't like the idea of drugs for him, but as long as they make him feel like he wants to, then it's okay. He is doing college math and says that when he gets older, he wants to be a scientist. Or a detective.
And speaking of him, Inu Yasha lives with me now. He moved into my house temporarily when he was sixteen. Mr. Thompson had been under a lot of stress and got into a fight with Inu Yasha. Inu Yasha didn't want to eat his food because it was touching and he dumped the food down the sink. The man's face (as Inu Yasha said) turned red and Mr. Thompson punched him so hard he couldn't see straight. The next thing he knew, he woke up in his room and he felt sick. He ran away and arrived at the school the next afternoon, tired and hungry. He told Ms. Aliah what happened and they sentenced Mr. Thompson to six months in jail, a fifteen hundred dollar fee, and a hundred hours of community service. He is not allowed to go within a hundred yards of Inu Yasha.
Inu Yasha had stayed with us while they were deciding where to put him. He got sick a lot and often had headaches then. After he went to court, it was decided that he would stay with me and my family and the government would send my mother enough money to feed and clothe him. He didn't get sick as often then. I think this is because he hates change. And had Mr. Thompson not aggravated and scared him so, he would still choose to live there because to him, that is better than going through the trouble of moving to a house-even if it is my house he is moving to.
My mom liked Inu Yasha. She said that if I liked him so much that he had to be a good boy. And he was. At first he was scared of all the new faces. My mom and my brother and grandfather (Grandpa scared him the most. I think he still does.) took some time to adjust to, but he got used to them very well, considering what he deals with.
He had fully adjusted to living with me and my family after seven months. It was a little difficult before then though. He would have nightmares, sometimes, of his house burning down with him inside it. And I would have to lie with him and coo to him, and whisper to him for hours before he settled down and we would end up falling asleep together. He always would ask me to sing to him. He loves my voice. Sometimes I contemplate touching Inu Yasha while he is sleeping. And no, not anything inappropriate, just holding his hand, and touching his face. He has flawless skin.
Once I was lucky enough to be able to stroke, with the back of my hand, his soft hair. It's a little oily because sometimes he won't take showers, (I do manage to force him to use deodorizer and wash his face with a towel though.) but it was incredibly soft and smooth. Just like I imagined it would feel. I worry he will wake up and catch me stroking his hair so I don't do that any more. Since we are both eighteen now, we hardly ever spend the night in each other's rooms anymore. This is partly because it is inappropriate, and partly because Inu Yasha does not have nightmares any more. (Not that frequently at least.)
When he first moved in I remember what he did. You know what that was? He moved the furniture around! He said he was picky about the way things are placed. The fact that the order from left to right, of our living room furniture was: chair, chair, sofa- bothered him. So now the sofa is in-between the two chairs. (Maybe he should do feng-shui?) He has been living with us, more or less, for about two and a half years. By the end of this first year with us, every thing in our house was placed to his liking.
As I mentioned, by now, Inu Yasha is almost completely normal. His autism has been handled splendidly by the people at his school. A lot of people I introduce him to can not even tell that he has it. When I will be talking to someone and I tell them he is autistic they say: "Really? No way!" And I smile.
Sometimes, I like to believe that I was the one that helped him, but I know it wasn't just me. It was a lot of things. Ms Aliah, therapy, special schooling, college math classes. (haha) When I think of the person I met some three and a half years ago, I can't even imagine it was the same Inu Yasha I know now. He's worked so hard.
One thing, though, that I have to say bothers me about the way people treat mental illness in America is that, some people are better off crazy. In Inu Yasha's case, drugs, and therapy helped him, but such things can really hurt other people.
Back in the mid-1900's, a process called lobotomy was very popular. This was a surgical procedure, the idea of which was worked on by several scientists from the 30's into the late 70's. The surgery basically consisted of removing the temporal lobe of the patient, or drilling holes in the side of the head and severing the nerves that run from the frontal cortex to the thalamus in psychotic patients who suffered from repetitive thoughts. The first lobotomy was performed on two dogs by their owner, a surgeon. He found the dog's were calmer after the surgery and the idea of performing it on people with behavioral and mental ailments in humans arose. A Swiss surgeon performed the surgery on six schizophrenic patient and they were all calmer after. Two died.
And yet, in 1935 a Yale graduate performed the surgery on chimps and found them to be calmer. A certain Antonio Egaz Moniz perfected the surgery that would come to be known as lobotomy. He advised it should only be used as a last resort. In 1949, he won the Nobel prize and retired from his career after a former patient shot him in the back.
An American physician, Walter Freeman, who had become impatient with the difficult procedure used by Moniz performed the ice pick lobotomy. In this crude procedure, a pick was driven into the head above the eyeballs using a mallet. The picks were swished around and- ta-da - a difficult patient is now as aggressive as a zuccini. Over 18000 of these were performed in the U.S. and other countries. And, unlike the idea of Moniz that these should only be used in desperation, they were used to treat things as common as deppression.
It may seem unrelated but it's a perfect story to fit my point. You see, as horrible as that surgery sounds, those doctors, for the most part, thought that what they were doing was good. People's moral's change constantly. The procedure is now banned in the US. But the thing is, as long as people continue to be born mentally impaired, people will always be looking for a way to fix them, and people's lack of knowledge on how to treat mental illness will always hurt people. Always.
Sure, this is a success story, but when you think about it, the 'story' isn't over. The drugs that Inu Yasha takes to fix him carry risks and side effects that may very well damage and kill him later. However, they work for him now, and that's what's important. Inu Yasha has trouble expressing himself clearly but I can tell he is so much happier now. He hates being stared at like he's different than everyone else because it reminds him that he is. And as long as he can be looked at like he's human- it's enough for him.
I honestly try pretty hard to understand Inu Yasha. Really. I do. But one thing that gives me trouble is why he is so bothered by being stared at and being different now. When I first met him, he acted so differently from everyone else and it didn't bother him, but now, when a certain touch unnerves him or he's around a large group of people, he gets so irritated by it. I think he hates the idea of feeling trapped and controlled by a disease. I understand why he hates feeling controlled. His parents died, he has autism, he's been handed from school to school, teacher to teacher; for a large part of his life, he's had no control over anything. He knows what it feels like to feel somewhat 'normal'. And it makes him happy to feel like a part of the human race for once.
And now, for some reason, he seems strangely human. Just a few weeks ago (and this is what inspired me to do the follow-up) we were walking together around my neighborhood. My mother decided to get a dog for my brother. Which initially was a good idea. However, he played with it constantly for about a month and then forgot about it completely leaving me to walk and take care of it. So me and Inu Yasha walk the thing and talk. He loves being outside during winter. The cold air makes him feel so comfortable. Sometimes he will run ahead of me to feel the wind, and then wait for me to catch up with him. He loves the cold.
We normally don't talk much on our walks. We walk at around six and by that time most families are inside and eating dinner, so we have the whole world to ourselves and he likes to take advantage of the silence. He ran ahead of me and spun around on the paved street and then stopped to wait for me to catch up. The dog doesn't like to run and doesn't get easily excited so I always walk to him, never run. I caught up soon and we walked together for a long time, about eight minutes. And then, all of a sudden he stopped. He stood in place and I continued to walk ahead of him until I noticed that he wasn't beside me any more. I called to him. "Inu Yasha?" He looked at my eyes briefly and then I saw the pupils dart around in their sockets. He seemed nervous. I walked to him and looked at him with a worried face.
He looked around wildly; at my hands, my face, my eyes, the trees behind me, the house next to me. "Kagome."
"I … I think I … I'm." And for once he was no longer able to articulate. He looked at me sternly and then reached out quickly and took my hand in his he held it lightly at first and then tighter as he brought his other hand to hold it as well. He rolled my hand in his and tapped it curiously, staring at it like it was the first hand he had ever seen. "I think I'm better." He had a slight smile on his face. "It doesn't hurt any more."
He looked back down at my hand. He was so happy. And I was too. I took in a sharp gasp of breath and smiled from ear to ear as I watched him examine my hand. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. He might have gotten confused. And I wanted to hug him but I didn't want to scare him so I just smiled at him, watery eyed.
We held hands the whole way home.
I hope you like the epilogue! Kinda crappy but, eh, it passes. Its sort of a 'Im-so-sorry-please-don't-kill-me' present to all the people I made wait months and months for the last chapter. (IMSOSORRY!) Well, for all you wondering when I'm going to update, AFILAW is being worked on after this is uploaded, and a new one shot should be coming out today or tomorrow. Enjoy!
I want Crumpets! (those things are good.)