Not an Ottophile chapter...! I...cannot...think right now! Though, this idea just escaped way outta my head...don't hit me!


Otto and Ock answers my everyday stupid questions:

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Otto: It is trying to achieve its goals to help humanity…or else, chicken-manity, if you get my drift.

Ock: That chicken is trying to kill its medical doctors! Kill! See, I'm not the only one with 4 evil mechanical arms! Ha ha!

Other people's answers:

Spider-man: I think because the chicken robbed the bank.

Kingpin: Obviously, the chicken works for me! So, its none of your business.

Uncle Ben: Because it was the chicken's responsibility to cross the road.

My evil teacher: I think it was trying to go to chicken school.

Norman Osborn: Why are you telling me this? I got a city to destroy!

Harry Osborn: The chicken is out for revenge, dammit! Get out of its way!

Lizard: Mmn…chicken…

Q. Boxers or Briefs?

Otto: Perhaps the question is: boxers and briefs?

Ock: How do you know I'm not wearing anything, he he!

Other people's answers:

Mary Jane: I'm wearing a thong, goddammit!

Peter: I have...tighty whities? Well, that explains everything.

Harry: Hmm...I'm wearing something, but its... neither!

Q. It was a rainy day weekend. What do you do?

Otto: Hmm. I dunno. Either working on the fusion reactor or snuggle with my wife. He he.

Ock: I hate rain! This bloody pier makes everything worst!

Other people's answers:

Peter: It's raining again? Crap. I got those pizza deliveries to do!

Spider-man: I'd wear my Spider-man swim-suit? I mean, they have like a bunch of them in dollar stores! And, not to mention, Spider-man umbrellas!

Norman: Who cares? I got all the money in the world! I'd watch my big screen TV—only that SM1 didn't show that I have a big screen TV.

Q. You saw someone drop their wallet. What do you do?

Otto: Personally, I'd give it back. Who knows who dropped it? Could be Alfred Molina. (shudders)

Ock: Heh. Just some extra cash for my fusion reactor!

Other people's answers:

Me: Ooh yeah! A credit card! Now to ebay and waste to guy's cash! (evil laughter)

Peter: Sigh. Is that too hard of a question? Me, drowned in guilt, too much of a goody-goody, having a superhero alternate (blah blah)

Norman: (hides it in pocket) You saw nothing!

Jameson: What the Hell? That was my wallet! That pickpocket thief (probably Spider-man) dropped it!

Q. You just won a million dollars! What will you spend it on?

Otto: Hmm...maybe on a new science experiment. Or a cure for cancer. Lately that's been everybody's problem.

Ock: I will...I will...at least try to find a very expert chiropactor, these arms are quite a bitch!

Other people:

Osama Bin Laden: Muhahahaha! I will buy nuclear weapons to destroy the world! Beat that, Hitler!

Peter: I will buy more land for more prisons, so these bloody criminals would be caught! Maybe the world will be better if police men recieve spider-powers...? Nah.

Mary-Jane: Oh, the usual, shoes, music, clothes..."how to divorce a spider"...

Q.What the Hell? How did Osama Bin Laden answer my question!

Otto:...beats me, and I'm a fusion scientist!

Ock: Uh...maybe I'll ask God. He'll answer it.

Other people's answers:

Peter: Who is Osama Bin Laden?

Harry: Guh. I'm stupid.

Q. Peter, you a very retarded superhero.

Otto: Hey, be nice now.

Ock: But that's my line!

Q. Uh...okay. 1 plus 1 is...

Otto: Two! Duh!

Ock: I'm not going to answer that.

other people's answers:

Peter: ZZzzzzzzz huh? what was the question again?

Harry: Okay, one plus one is...five. No, four. No, six. No, one hundred. Damn! I should have never skipped those kindergarden classes!

Q. If you met your fangirl, what would you do?

Otto: I have a fangirl? Sweet! Hopefully Rosie wouldn't find out...

Ock: Eeeep! Run for the bomb shelter!

other people:

Harry: Maybe my charm will repel them.

Peter: Maybe I'll buy her candy, see if that'll distact her...

Q. Fruits or vegetables?

Otto: Chips and soda. Wait, that wasn't a choice...

Ock: anything!

other people:

Peter: both, seeing that my alternate actor life is a vegetarian.

Q. Why is the sky blue?

Otto: uhhhhhhhhhhh

Ock: Because it'll soon be orange by the time I'm through with this machine!

Q. The world is ending. What will you do?

Otto: I will hug Rosie and tell her how much I love her and all that stuff then I'll screw her and buy beer then I'll whine how I didn't save humanity then I'll screw Rosie again and I'll buy more beer and I'll murder Harry and I'll push Peter off the building then grow fat from eating all those oreo cookies...so much to do, so little time.

Ock: ...I'll tell the world that I'm still...sober! Then, maybe I'll audition for American idol, he he.

other people:

Peter: Damn Otto, I didn't know we have so much in common! I'd do all that too, except I'll replace Rosie with MJ and maybe I'll push you off the building, see how you like that.

Alfred Molina: WTF am I doing here! (look in pocket) Hey, who stole my wallet!

Me: He he!


W00t so many randomness! Must...have...Doctor Pepper! More stupid questions, coming soon!