Like a Stone
By SakuraCorazonn
How many years are needed for you to forgive yourself, my friend?
I no longer want you to torture yourself because of that event in the past, my friend. I'm aware about what happened that day, and I'm sure nobody wanted that to happen, but it did. Not even your sensei could've avoided what happened. To lose friends, family, and brothers in arms… is hard, difficult. I know it smoothly.
Why don't you just accept it wasn't you fault? Both of you were very young, that mission was your first. Although you are a genius, you aren't a far seer. Nobody could've known that would happen. The mission seemed to be a pushover, but it wasn't...Of course it wasn't. Now, you know it well, there are no pushovers when it comes to ninja missions.
Every day I see you, here in the monument, my heart tear to pieces. Every day I observe you in front of the monument to the fallen, in honor to them, our great heroes, I cry in silence for you, for me. Because your heart and your soul hadn't stop crying for a long time ago, in the same way as mine.
Why don't you come to me, and let me try to heal your soul. Please stop acting like a stone, you can't hold everything. Please let me cure your wounds with my words, or my silence. I also have open wounds like you. I also suffer like you for the fallen. And I know this is our form not to forget our mistakes, and not to fail again.
The people say, "Time cures everything, and there's no body that resist it" and that is true. I believe it. This is the first time in a long time I see you smile sincerely here, in the monument. That makes me happy. I understand why you smile. You find the way to pay for you sin, the way of redemption.
I believed. You and he simply resemble much to each other. Both are lone wolfs. Both of you have a legendary last name on your back. Both are orphans. Both have seen the face of death at a pretty young age. Both have had cruel familiar stories. Considered geniuses by all villages. But, even so, always so alone. Its your souls full of sadness, stained by sorrow, its your heart so plenty of fears. Both have pains; both have a fragile heart. Have too much weight in your shoulders. Yours had seen many horrors.
I ask myself, he will be able to heal you wound? Or will he make it much bigger? That boy is following your steps at such an amazing speed. He's committing the same many errors, the ones you committed in the past. Those errors, which made you, lose your friend. I know you percept it too. You have noticed the rage, the anger, the resentment and the uneasiness he has within. I see that in your black eyes, in you face.
Fear, you tremble in fear for a second time. You feel that you failed to him again. And that fear is killing you; it makes you to cry back without hope, scared with the fact that you wont be able to do nothing else to stop him. You understand that he must react by himself, as you did that day, long time ago.
I positively know why everybody considers you such a stress-free person, a carefree, a deranged man. I understand why you always arrive late to your meetings, why do you never leave your pocket book Come Come Paradise.
I know your truth! At least, a good of your truth, because the truth change according to which perspective it is observed. And the truth is not absolute by any meanings, my friend.
One time you showed it. Remember that day very well. Bring to mind me the rain, so cold and so strong. I remember, I saw you walking under the rain. You always got pass the memorial monument in the same hour. And my curiosity was stronger than my discretion. I followed your step, and climbed a tree in order to saw what you did all the days there. And what I saw astonished my mind. It left myself unable to talk and showed me clearly I wasn't the only one who suffered for the lost of friends, family, companions, or our love.
You show me your truth. You did it without noticing I was there, beholding you. And understood it all, in just one hit. I contemplated what was in your inner. I understood why you always hide your face behind a mask, and knew who you are behind that perfect mask you maintained. I discovered pain, a lot of sorrow. Perceived anguish. I saw sadness that couldn't be healed with a hug of friends, or even with a tender kiss in your lips. I observed your fragility, understood your doubts, your broken illusions, your whole fear, your forgotten yearnings, and your melancholy.
I really saw the way you really are. Not the ninja, not the genius ninja who you certainly are. I saw you like a man, a man who suffers because of his errors, the man who is flesh and bone and blood. I saw you the way you are. A Man. I saw your soul and you heart.
And what I saw had affected me deeply. I've always thought people are the way they are for some reason, and that day, I discovered you reason of being. And I cried. I cried I a way I had not cried in a long time. My tears were mixed with the drops of the rainwater falling in my face. I didn't perceive in which moment you arrived at my side in the tree. I can only remember your arm in my shoulder ripping away my pain and the silence comforting us, and the rain. It's funny. The compatible souls don't look for each other after all.
For that reason I've always looked after you from a distance. For that reason I've always looked at you in silence, and I knew that you noticed. You've always noticed me when I took a sit here in the tree. That day you've noticed me when I watched you, and you let me saw you. That is your way to show me I'm not alone like I thought. It's your form to save my soul and hearth and to look after me when I need it the most. It's your form to do it all. It's your way to be.
Some day, maybe I'll talk with you about that day. I want to do that, but now I rather want to see you from a distance. I know that if I speak now I'll lose you. The magic would be lost forever and I don't want that. It's the price I must pay for knowing your truth. Well, I'll pay it without complaining.
- Good morning Kakashi-senpai – Greets the woman. In his arms she had a beautiful bouquet of pink and white flowers. Also she had a branch of Sakuras.
- Good Morning – the man returned the greeting with his habitual smiling voice. Calmly, he took the headband and cover his left eye, hiding one of his greater treasures.
They exchange gentle words. The ninja retires in search of his scandalous pupils.
The woman delicately places the entire bunch of flowers in the foot of the monument. She started now to pray for his lost family, friends, brothers in arms and for his love.
- Kakashi-Senpai ,thanks – she whispers. A tiny smile appears in her pale lips. She knows her was now being observed by him, from a distance, much like she always do with him.