The Only Time

Another Edmondia Dantes inspired fic… which is odd, because I haven't read any of her work in months. Oh well. Who knows why things are as they are?

DISCLAIMER: You're the one with the leather bound hips, so come and dance with me Michael!

He's doing something bad.

Something he's never done before.

Something he's done a hundred times.

Something he'll never do again.

He steps into the room and Yuugi looks up in surprise. "You're finished already?"

He tried to hold off. He tried to concentrate on building his deck and getting ready for tomorrow's duel. He tried to ignore the hurt and the pain and just keep going.

But he couldn't.

"The other me…? Is everything alright?"

It always comes the same. What happens next is always different.

He makes light conversation.

He confesses his emotions.

He describes his need.

He doesn't speak.

He grabs him up and forces their lips together.

He slowly and gently guides them to a soft kiss.

He seduces him.

He slams Yuugi into the wall or bed or floor and just takes what is his.

He is pulled closer.

He is allowed to dominate.

He is shoved off.

He is questioned.

He is fought.

He is satiated.

This time he just stands there, watching in silence as Yuugi gets to his feet, concerned. "The other me…? What's wrong? What are you doing here?"

Again, he stays silent. He just waits for Yuugi to come close, then slowly reaches out, his hand brushing over Yuugi's cheek. It's an action he's done a thousand times but one that Yuugi had never felt. It just adds to the confusion, and amplifies it as he pulls Yuugi closer still.

My aibou, he whispers into their minds.

Yuugi doesn't react at first, before slowly stepping forward and curling warm arms around him.

He wraps his own arms around Yuugi's shoulders in a tight grip, and Yuugi's head falls on his shoulder, silently comforting and being comforted in return.

Every time, he promises himself he will never do it again. He will make this time the last time, and that will be all.

But this time will be the last time. He knows, in his heart, that there is a large chance that Yuugi had surpassed him and will win tomorrow. And he will go on to the afterlife. He will never see Yuugi again.

So, for the last time, his arms slide down from Yuugi's shoulder.

For the last time, his hands press and shape around the contours of Yuugi's back.

For the last time, he turns his face into Yuugi's hair and pulls back a little, kissing the temple, then the eye, and the cheek, and the mouth.

For the last time, he feels Yuugi flinch, and takes the gasp in stride, covering his mouth completely, swallowing the cry of shock and confusion.

For the last time he whispers into Yuugi's mind. Telling him of his need and want and desire.

Yuugi stumbles backward, with his arms still around him, so they are forced to move together.

He deepens the kiss and Yuugi makes no move to protest.

The toys and games scattered across the floor make them stumble and almost fall but they hold each other up and continue walking until Yuugi's legs hit the bed and he half-sits, half-falls back onto it, never letting go and never having his lips released.

He just kneels down over Yuugi, pushing and pulling ever closer.

The silence breaks as Yuugi pulls back with a gasp, and he realises he needs to breathe.

They pant, staring at each other as they regain their breath.

"The other me…"

He's not sure who moved forward first but suddenly its not about acceptance or agreement but purely domination and who can win this game of clothing removal.

Yuugi was never so innocent, and as he has done a thousand times before makes him groan and growl in heated desire and unfulfilled need.

He's done it so many times he knows just how to make Yuugi gasp and moan and writhe and scream.

And as he does he remembers the hundred times before.

He remembers the fear.

He remembers the curiosity.

He remembers the apathy.

He remembers the need.

He remembers the desire.

And now, for the first and last time, in the final split second, he realises the love.

Like a thousand times before, his hands ghost over the sweat-covered form beneath him.

Like a thousand kisses before them, his mouth moves slowly over the bruised lips.

And, for the first time, he doesn't bring sleep to Yuugi and leave.

Minutes pass in silence as they recover and both think this over.

His hand slides back down Yuugi's chest to rest on his hip, and the boy rolls his head to look at him, silently questioning.

And, leaning down to kiss him again, long and deep, he tells him. Of the hundred times he's done this, from when Yuugi was his soul, to his other self, to his partner, to his aibou.

Yuugi goes still at the information, and Yami doesn't flinch at the emotional revulsion that presses around him. He has been using Yuugi for so long and his supposed aibou didn't know.

He always used the puzzle so Yuugi would never know of what they had done.

In this way, Yuugi remained forever perfect and pure.

It was wrong, and he knows it.

But then Yuugi leans up to kiss him again. Forgiveness.

"Not this time, though. I promise you, I won't…"

Instead of thanks, tears well in Yuugi's eyes and he kisses him again, firmer, painfully.

A whisper in the back of his mind begs. Not this time. Not ever. I don't want to know. I don't want to love you. I don't want to lose a lover, please no…

Grabbing, searching hands, begging and pleading.

He pushes them away, instead soothing and petting.

Every time this moment comes, he promises himself he will not erase the memory. He will let Yuugi know how he feels forever. Let him know that he is loved.

But a dead man's love is not enough, and he kisses him long and slow, before gently willing Yuugi to sleep, pulling the memory from his soul and hiding it away.

Like a hundred times before, he will be the only one to remember.

And for the first time, it hurts.

Damn ceremonial duel ruined my fantasy matzerfratzin…