Author's Note: OK, here's the second half of the parody. Enjoy!
Soon afterwards, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles found themselves standing at the entrance of Robotropolis. "Man, Robotnik has such a cool house!" Sonic commented.
"Yeah!" added Tails. "Why can't our place be like this!"
"Hey, I thought we were here to shut down the generator?" reminded Knuckles.
"Oh yeah!" Sonic remembered.
As the three of them dashed down the hallway, Tails looked at his wristwatch. "I'm gonna try and get this thing some more ringtones."
"Fine." Sonic didn't seem to care.
"You guys gettin' thirsty up there?" Knuckles glided behind them.
"Yeah, I've been whining for beer this whole journey!" said Sonic.
"Well, hold it in! Ha ha!" Knuckles laughed. But he suddenly blasted at by the snail-like Badninks from Sonic 3's Launch Base Zone. "Those little buggers are gonna pay dearly for that!" he swore.
"Good luck, then!" Sonic dashed into the room with the Robot Generator, which was about to explode in twenty seconds. Alarms were going off endlessly, and the entire room was flashing red. Despite being the fastest thing alive, Sonic couldn't quite reach the Generator's shut-off handle because of a conveyor belt he had run on to. Tails smacked into his back. "Tails, you moron! Fly!"
"Thank you, boss!" Tails flew up to the switch and tried to pull it. "But it's too big to pull!"
Sonic ran towards the switch, looking like he had the runs. It didn't look like he was going to make it.
"OH, YEAH!" Knuckles suddenly smashed through the wall behind them. He threw Sonic up to the switch, allowing the hedgehog to knock it into the "off" position and shut down the generator. As a result, the whole city darkened. Except, strangely, the conveyor belt, which Knuckles was now stuck on. But not only that, Sonic was suddenly trapped in a prison pod. "Y'know, this isn't making my job any easier!" Knuckles called as he slipped about on the belt.
Tails flew and looked at the prison pod, not seeming to do anything about Sonic's apparent electrocution. But then, the Robot Generator fell apart, taking part of the floor with it. The whole room went dark as Sonic fell down to what was left of the floor. Knuckles caught him, and Tails flew by them. "You think this means the end of - Aah!"
Tails was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a blue sphere on the other side of the room. "What the hell's happening now?" Knuckles asked.
After a while, the sphere blew up, covering the whole room with smoke. When it cleared, Metal Sonic had appeared in front of the trio, staring right at his fleshy counterpart.
"Hey, it's that robo-Sonic from Sonic CD!" Tails stated the obvious again.
"Shouldn't we be pretending this is our first encounter?" nitpicked Knuckles.
The voice was Dr. Robotnik was suddenly heard from out of nowhere, laughing like an idiot. "I'M A PEPPER! HA HA HA!"
"Who said that?" said Knuckles.
"A logic freak?" said Tails. Sonic was too busy staring at Metal Sonic to pay attention to the voice they had just heard, or the stars turning into fireballs in front of them.
Just then, Metal-Robotnik reappeared, supposedly rising out of the ground. "Ha ha ha ha ha..."
Tails whimpered. "Call the Ghostbusters!"
Metal-Robotnik suddenly fell apart, as it turns out he was being held up by hundreds of SWATbots.
"Oh, never mind." Tails sweated.
Sara the whiner came out of the rubble, pulling Robotnik by his moustache. "Get your ass out of my belly button, Eggman!"
"Oh, please don't call me that!" Robotnik whined.
"Sara?" Sonic was weirded out at her appearance.
"What the hell are THEY doing here?" Tails asked.
"I get it!" Knuckles pointed an accusing glove their way. "They're having an affair!"
Sara cried like the bitch she is, much to Robotnik's embarassment. "You should've said something different," teased Tails.
"No, no, no!" Sara whined. "Robotnik never really intended on letting you all have any rewards! He made you go here in order to kill you!"
Sonic got angry. "What's with this prohibition crap, Ivo!"
"Ha ha!" Robotnik stuck out his own tongue. "I tricked you with the promise of beer so that you could be led to your own death. How would you like your funeral observed?"
"Oh, really now?" Sonic dashed at Robotnik, but stopped when Metal Sonic appeared in front of Robotnik.
"Oh, crapmonkeys..." Tails repeated himself.
"I, Dr. Julian 'Ivo Robotnik' Panchito Felipe Saki Pussy Jenson Kintobor have created the Hyper Metal Sonic!" the doctor declared.
"Hyper?" Tails nitpicked that word. "You're joking! It doesn't even look flashy!"
"Well, you try picking out a name to make something old look new! So let's just call him 'Metal' for short." Robotnik explained. "Anyway, I was just transferring Sonic's DNA to this thing rather than electrocuting him earlier, so now it's ready!"
"That doesn't look like it's gonna win any robot contests, Ivo!" Sara criticized.
"What contest? I just want him to kill Sonic and then destroy the Fancy Lit-Up Land." Robotnik declared.
"Destroy our homes!" Sara waved a metal part at him again. "I'm gonna call Teamo Supremo about this!" Some SWATbots came in to shut her sassy mouth.
"GIVE US BACK OUR BEER, ROBUTTNIK!" Sonic insulted his nemesis.
"Okay, Spikeball, I'll give you some beer... if you have a chance..." Robotnik stepped back. "...of beating Metal here." And with that, Metal Sonic took a look at his targets.
"This shouldn't be tough," bragged Sonic. "Darkwing Duck does this all the time."
The fight began. Sonic and Metal Sonic took off into the air, trying to kick the crap out of each other. "Great," Knuckles grumbled. "We get to watch a fight, but we don't get any beverages till it's over."
Robotnik watched in his robo-pod with a bound and gagged Sara. "At last I have an invention that will put me on national television! Screw you, FoxBox!" he said as Metal Sonic headbutted Sonic in the back.
"Oh crud, I still haven't dumped!" whined Tails.
As Metal Sonic caught Sonic by the leg and broke out of the ceiling, Robotnik laughed like an idiot again. "Goooooooooooo Metallu!"
Tails tried to fly after them, but Knuckles grabbed him by the ankle. "Wait, Tails! Hang on there."
"But we gotta--"
"Forget it. So long as I'm holding you down, we can't chase them. Capishe?" Just then, a chunk of rock came falling down. They narrowly avoided it as it crashed right into Robotropolis. "Didn't Robotnik say something about destroying the Fancy Lit-Up Land?"
Up above, Robotnik untied Sara. "Sorry to have disturbed you, but someone just had to shut your sasshole up."
"Well, nice try! I'm never gonna stop bitching till things go my way!" Sara whined.
"Well, what about the fight going on now?" Robotnik said gayly.
Sonic managed to fly away from Metal Sonic and positioned on a small mountain. "Where'd that little mother- Uh!"
Metal Sonic booted Sonic into the ground below, which would surely have killed him. At least, that's what it looked like.
"I don't believe it; I've won!" Robotnik, who had been watching this on his screens, laughed even harder than before. "Now all the Dr. Pepper on Mobius is mine! MAY I TAKE YOUR HAT, SIR!
"What do we do now, Tails?" Knuckles asked as Tails flew back to the warp zone.
"Head back home and gather the spare beer, that's what!" Tails answered, ignoring the tear in his eye.
"But Sonic still owes me his..." Before Knuckles could finish his sentence, they entered the warp zone.
Back on that island at the beginning of the story, Oldman had made himself comfortable on the beach, despite it being night. Hey, he was an owl. "I wonder why the local liquor store's not open at this hour." As he said that, he suddenly noticed Metal Sonic coming his way, but didn't notice anything strange about how he looked. "Oh, are you back already, Sonic? ... Uh, did you get drunk? Wait! I'm not gay! DON'T TOUCH MEEEEE!"
In a forest somewhere, Sonic, who had landed in a conveniently-placed shrubbery, regained consciousness. "Ooooh, what a hangover. That must've been some serious beer the President had earlier..." Just then, he pictured his robotic counterpart flying at him. "Wait; that was no hallucination!"
Elsewhere, the President of Mobius watched as the cities of Mobius were being destroyed. But he didn't seem to care. I wonder if Robotnik ever realized he took my cocoa butter... he thought.
Yet another meanwhile later...
"AW, CRAP!" Knuckles yelled at the sight of the now-trashed island hideout, which he and Tails had parked the Tornado in front of. "That no-good SOB Robotnik blew up the house while we were away! Good thing no one was in there."
"WAIT! WE LEFT OLDMAN WITH ALL THE BOOZE!" Tails ran into the wreck. "Oldman! Where the hell'd ya go!"
"You sure he was in here?"
"Oldman, you didn't take our booze, did you?"
Oldman showed up behind them, wearing rather silly clothes. "I'm over here, chump! I saw an 'Inspector Gadget' marathon."
"Hey, Sonic may not dress often, but he's gonna kill you when he sees you in his favorite clothes!" threatened Tails.
"Don't be silly! He took me out for beer last night and then flew away to steal some arcade cabinets!" Oldman laughed.
"Steal arcade cabinets?" Knuckles & Tails looked at each other. "...METAL!"
In the sky, Robotnik laughed at the expense of the Fancy Lit-Up Land. "Oh yes! It won't be long now, and the Fancy Lit-Up Land will soon be gone. Now for phase 3½ of my operation..." And he pulled a wedding dress from out of nowhere. "Here y'go, Sara. I got this at David's Bridal."
"Yabba-dabba-doo!" said Sara.
Again, at the good guy hideout, Tails tinkered with his navigator. "Will you stop fooling with that!" Knuckles grouched. "We gotta go find Sonic, even though we don't know if he's alive or not!"
"Rotor's not here," Tails explained, "so I have to re-arrange the microchips myself so this thing works to our advantage."
"Oh, so you think you can actually find them? But what if they're in different chili dog stands?"
"Oh, they'll head for the same chili dog stand, no doubt."
"Why are you telling me this!"
"I recall Robotnik saying he programmed Sonic's DNA into Metal Sonic. Therefore, Metal Sonic most likely also has an appetite for chili dogs and affection for squirrel princesses. And obviously the same fashion sense and ways of pulling pranks on Oldman."
"Even though he's an automation and not a biomation?"
"Pretty much. He's felt every single bloody pain that Sonic's ever endured, and vice versa. He could be the twin brother Sonic never had."
Knuckles looked burned out. "You sounded like Princess Sally there..."
Over at someplace completely different, the President watched various scenes of misfortune on his monitors. "These cities are currently being ruinated, but why should I care?" said a voice heard all over the room. "I'm just a computer."
"Hey sir! Check this shizzat out!" An unnamed servant made the computer zoom in on a picture to show Metal Sonic's silhouette.
"Hey, that looks almost like Sonic!" said the President. "Get the phone working!"
"Couldn't you do it yourself?" said the servant, not moving his lips.
Over at Sonic's hideout, the phone rang. "If that's an insurance salesman on the other line, curse him!" Knuckles was busy tinkering with the plane.
"What's wrong with you people? Don't you ever answer the phone?" The President watched as Oldman answered the phone. "Oh no, it's that idiot! Isn't there anyone sensible to speak to?"
"You got a temper problem?" Knuckles responded.
"Who are you?"
"I'm an old friend of Sonic's. But not in the sexual sort."
"Good then. Can you explain to me what happened after Robotnik took my cocoa butter!"
"Haven't you been reading the script, Mr. Prop Guy?"
Oldman stopped dancing like an idiot. "Oh, hi, Prez!"
Back wherever she was, Sara was wearing the wedding dress that Robotnik had pulled out. "So am I ready enough for a close-up?"
"For someone like you, yes." Robotnik had somehow changed into a cyan bowtie.
"So why are we dressed so fancily?"
"Well, I want to get laid after the Fancy Lit-Up Land is destroyed," Robotnik adjusted his bowtie, "and since you're the only female character in this story, you're my choice."
Sara went into a fantasy of what it would be like being married to Robotnik. Despite the fact that he was the same species as her, she didn't seem to like the idea. She growled at him and shook him crazily, scratching his face as she did so. "YOU'RE BLOODY CRAZY! I'd rather be a lesbian than take your last name!"
While that was going on, Tails explained to the President everything that happened with him and Sonic since they entered the Slightly-Dark Land.
"So that's why I never got my cocoa butter back," said the President. "At least that creature didn't destroy it!"
"He could destroy the Fancy Lit-Up Land." Knuckles pointed.
"Yeah. I've been traveling around Mobius for quite some time, and I discovered something. I can't quite remember it all, but it goes something like this. The northern tip of the planet has links of ice, and I think there's blood vessels underneath. Or maybe they're magma tunnels that seem reminiscent of blood vessels. If the ice links or blood vessels or whatever are blown up by an explosion or something, I think the magma's supposed to melt the ice and send the Mobius continents into space where they'll all have Big Booms."
The President looked horrified. "That didn't make a lick of sense!"
"Well yeah, but we can't let Sonic know about it." There must have been a good reason for Tails to not want Sonic to know what was going on.
"Why can't I know?" Sonic was standing above and behind the President.
The President turned around. "Oh, it's a-you, Sonikku!"
"It's so that Tails and Knuckles can save the day and get the glory, ain't it?"
"NO!" Tails shouted over the phone. "That's not it at all, Sonic!"
"This robot you're discussing just turned northward," said the computer voice.
"Que?" said Sonic, with no sign of a Spanish accent.
"Tails, there must be a good reason you don't want Sonic to know! Right?" The President heard Sonic speeding off, and turned to see that he had already left. "Sonic? Tails, I don't think you can tell him now!"
"Crapmonkeys!" said Tails & Knuckles simultaneously.
"We'll just have to go after Metal Sonic ourselves."
"This monitor that Sega provided gives me all I need to watch!" laughed Robotnik. "Now it's off to the North Pole to watch the destruction of Mobius."
"NO NO NO!" Sara kicked and screamed. "I'D RATHER MARRY A GAY MAN THAN YOU!"
"Oh, be quiet! I've already had enough girl problems before," remarked Robotnik as they vanished into another warp zone.
Meanwhile (again), Tails & Knuckles were taking the Tornado to the North Pole. "Keen gear!" Tails showed off his new-and-improved navigator watch. "Now we can hack into Metal's memory and make him do our biddings!"
Knuckles was standing comfortably on the wing. "Hey Tails, are we gonna see Santa Claus when we get to the North Pole?"
"I don't think so; he retired in the Christmas special, remember?"
Meanwhile (for hopefully the last time), Metal Sonic arrived at the North Pole and begans destroying the ice links. But just as he was reveling in his victory, he saw Sonic coming his way.
Sonic stopped running and looked at the inferno in front of him. "Shit! I got here too late! Too bad I haven't yet made up with S - huh?" Metal Sonic had ambushes him from underground. "So I guess now we can really fight. That loss back there was just a fluke."
Metal Sonic beeped in reply, mimicking Sonic's nose-rubbing.
"What? You're telling me Mobius isn't big enough for the two of us?"
Metal Sonic nodded, and beeped as if saying "Precisely."
"Well, maybe the planet is big enough, but... let's do this anyway!" Sonic began fighting Metal Sonic again, eventually trying to headbutt each other. "You may think you're all that, but I'm actually more popular because I have more girlfriends than you do! Strange, isn't it!"
They jumped into the air simultaneously, eventually hitting Robotnik's pod, which had just teleported in.
Robotnik looked at Sonic, who was making uncomfortable stances: "Oh crap! Why can't you ever die and stay dead! And why are you twitching like that?"
Sara was kicking at Metal Sonic, who was looking up her dress at the moment. "You cheesebooger pervert! Get your head away from my ass!"
"Oh, you're trying to do everything Metal's doing! Now to kill you!" Robotnik attempted to grab Sonic, who jumped out of the way. Because Robotnik's weight shifted the pod, Sara fell out.
"Serves her right!" said Sonic as Metal Sonic put a lucha libre hold on him.
"Oh no!" wailed Robotnik. "My one chance at getting laid!"
"Whoo!" Down below, Knuckles caught Sara. "Well, hel-lo."
"Why'd you do that?" Sonic asked angrilly.
"Look out!" Tails came flying in, knocking the two Sonics apart.
"Lousy biplanes! They'll be the death of me yet!" Robotnik launched his fancy tortoise- and hare-shaped missiles, the latter of which blew up the Tornado, and sent Tails careening into the nearby mountain. "Eeeeeyes! Huh?" He could see that his tortoise-shaped missile had barely left the ship. "Ohhhhh! I knew I should've gone for the cheetah design!"
At the bottom of the mountain, Sara laughed wildly as Knuckles slipped and slid on the ice. "Hey, riding in someone's arms as he slides on ice is SPIFF!" she said, and kissed Knuckles, causing him to fall down. "Being a SegaSonic girl is great, 'cause you can take action and whine!"
Robotnik came down and grabbed Sara by her left arm. "There you are! I need someone to take my sperm!"
But then, Tails, who had turned into a snowball from his ride down the mountain, came rolling by, taking Sara and Knuckles and causing Robotnik to fall out of his pod. Eventually, the snowball crashed into a wall near the burning ice links. When it cleared, Knuckles could see that not only had Tails lost his pilot helmet during the crash, but he was grabbing Sara's breasts as well. "Tails! Let 'er go!"
Tails jumped back. "Did I just..."
"What kinda ten-year-old are you!" Knuckles got interrupted by the Sonics fighting near them. "Hey! The fight's not over!"
"And I forgot the booze again!" Tails whined.
"Metal!" Sara shrieked. "Give us our weeeeeeeed!"
Metal Sonic hits the ice links again, causing more magma to come spilling out. "If the ice bridge is destroyed, we're screwed!" said Tails. "Just like you said, Knux!"
"Well, what am I to do?" said Knuckles.
"Be threatened to hear my bitching again?" Sara kissed him again.
"Doctress! You have a deal!" Knuckles jumped into the ground and dug around the ice links, somehow stopping the magma flow from melting the ice.
"Woohoo!" said Sara and Tails in unison. "Yay for bad writing!"
"Aw, crap!" Knuckles noticed his hat was burning. "This is my favorite hat!"
But it didn't change the fact that Sonic was getting his ass whipped by Metal Sonic, who then attempted to choke him. "No, no no! That's the real Sonic you're hurting!" Ignoring Knuckles' headwear problem, Sara jumped at Metal Sonic and attempted to beat him up. "I don't care if you like chili dogs and squirrel princesses, YOU'RE BAD!"
"Hang on a sec! If this doesn't work, I'll sue!" Tails opened his navigator and pushed some buttons.
Sara continued her unsuccessful attempt at pummeling Metal Sonic. "I'm not letting you destroy the Fancy Lit-Up Land, BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA BECOME MRS. SARA KINTOBOR!" she revealed.
"Shut up, Sara!" Tails finally reconfigured Metal Sonic, who dropped Sonic and went critical. "Now's your chance, Sonic!" he commanded, and Sonic spin-dashed Metal off the cliff. "How was that?"
"On a scale of one to ten, I give it a C+." Sonic saluted.
"Good enough for me!" Tails saluted back.
Suddenly, a cruiser pod smashed into the glacier wall. The President and Oldman were inside it. "What a lovely car!" Sonic commented, not noticing the passengers.
"Yeah! Why's your dad have such a cool car, Sara?" Tails at least noticed them.
"He must've come for his cocoa butter!" Sara remarked.
"How did you know?" said Sonic. "Well, it would appear he might not get it!"
"Well, he might die from the explosion!" Tails stated the obvious for the umpteenth time.
"I guess we gotta get him out. Here we go, Tails." Sonic had Tails lift him up. "Geez, the things that happen when my beach chair gets knocked over."
"If that things explodes, there'll be hell to pay!" Tails was suddenly knocked down by the reappearance of Metal Sonic. "What the hell-"
"Ugh!" Sonic groaned. "This stupid robot never seems to die!"
"Well, you save the President while I try to get Metal to make my bed!" Tails suddenly had his navigator blasted off his wrist by Robotnik.
"You again?" said Sonic as Robotnik showed up behind them in his pod.
"So, you're using the navigator to make Metal do your chores, eh? Impressive..." Robotnik commented as Tails growled at him. "But now you can't do it no more! Now kill 'em, Metal!"
Metal Sonic blasted at Sonic, trying to kill him again. Along the way, Knuckles popped out of holes like a certain bit in the "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" theme song, eventually getting hit on the head by Sonic. Needless to say, he didn't like that.
After quite a bit of fighting, Sonic threw Metal Sonic at the President's cruiser as Tails and Knuckles were trying to break it open. "Keep going, Knux!" said Tails. "Oldman I don't care about, but we must save the President!"
Metal Sonic hit the ship, which then caused it to explode.
"OLDMAN!" Sara cried, not saying anything about her dad.
"Mr. President!" Sonic walked towards the burning ship. "I don't have your cocoa butter!"
But then Metal Sonic came flying out, carrying the President and Oldman.
"Sonic!" Tails came up to his idol, not changing his words.
Knuckles: "Hey, why's Metal--"
Sonic: "Yeah, why--"
Metal Sonic dropped the two anime team-OCs onto the good guys and fell into the magma below. Sonic jumped in to try and save him, apparently forgetting that this thing had just made several attempts to kill him. "Metallu!"
"No, Sonic!" Tails called. "He's a bad guy!"
"Grab my hand, Metal!" Sonic crawled down to Metal Sonic and stretched it out.
Knuckles came out from under the dirt and grabbed Sonic. "Don't do it, Sonic! Being an evil twin, it's obviously a trap!"
But instead of dragging Sonic down, Metal Sonic slapped his hand away.
"Uhhhhh?" Sonic looked confused.
"Sonic... I am your brother..." With his first (and last) words, Metal Sonic then let the lava consume him.
"Aaaah!" Sonic yelled at the sight of his opponent's death. "Must... say..."
"You're gonna say it, aren't you?" expected Knuckles.
Later that day, all the non-villains looked over the remains of the battle. "Don't be so sad, Sonic," said Sara. "It's not good for your reputation."
"Yeah!" added Tails. "Besides, Metal left us his booze supply in his will!"
"Oh, really?" Robotnik, now back in his normal outfit, reappeared behind them in his pod.
"OH, CRAP!" said all the others. Except Oldman. He was too busy looking at the scenery.
"I can always build another Metal Sonic, 'cause I happen to have his data on this CD here!" Robotnik boasted. "My stronger model of Metal Sonic will not have an interest in chili dogs or interspecies dating, and thanks to that, I will conquer Mobius once more! I can see you're all sick of your chances of winning." Just then, his tortoise missile from earlier grabbed the CD. "Hey, where've you been! Uhhhhh..."
But the missile exploded, destroying the CD. Robotnik obviously didn't like that, but the good guys found it funny. "Who cares about that!" guffawed the President. "I can get more cocoa butter at home."
"Yeah, but ya can't get this!" Knuckles hit Sonic on the head.
"Wha wah da fuh?" Sonic asked, despite his mouth not having anything in it.
"It's something called payback." Knuckles made a rude face and zipped off.
"What! Get your ass back here!" Sonic ran after the echidna.
"Wait, Sonic! We're supposed to be loading up Metal's booze!" Tails flew after them.
"Why'd you hit me again?" Sonic yelled at the Master Emerald's guardian.
"'Cause you stepped on my head earlier!" Knuckles yelled back at the speedy guy.
"Yes you did!"
"You guys always have to ruin my fun, don't you? I'll get you yet! I'll..." Robotnik's pouting was cut short the other characters jumped on him. "Get offa me!"
"Drive after them, Eggman!" Sara demanded. "I still haven't given Sonic my noogie yet!"
"Fine. But don't call me Eggman!" Robotnik drove after the Triple Threat as Sara, the President, and Oldman tried to grab them for reasons I couldn't make out.
"Oops! Looks like we gotta end this fanfic!" Sonic zoomed up to the camera to start the fade-out.
"Wait! I wanna close this up!" Knuckles whined as the story ended.
This obviously isn't my best parody yet, but what can I say? I just wanted to get this done by the end of the school year! Now that I have, I can resume my attention on my fanart, and more important fanfic projects, like Marriage of a Teenage Robot, and more installments of King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof 2 and Dr. Wily's Supreme Takeover!