A short one-shot in a closet. I own nothing, not even the sex, unfortunately.

Graphic sexuality ahead...


"So…we're stuck in a closet," Remus Lupin observed, breaking the silence that had reigned for the last fifteen minutes.

"You noticed," Hermione deadpanned. She shivered slightly and drew her knees toward her chest. "Is it me or is it getting colder in here?"

"It's getting colder," Remus confirmed.

"This is your fault, you know," Hermione informed him.

"I'm sorry," he responded. "I really shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. I mean, I only said your name three times. I probably should have said it four. And maybe owled you in advance that I was coming down the hall." It was deadpan but Hermione could hear the gently mocking tone.

"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "And stomped your feet when you were sneaking up behind me." She smiled slightly and Remus could just barely see it in the dim light.

"Hey, Severus will notice you're missing, right?"

"Yes, but considering I fucked up a potion we've been working on for two months, he might not want to find me. Or I might not want to be found." She grimaced before being racked by another shiver.

"Here, move closer, I'll keep you warm," Remus offered. He pulled her against him and covered her with his body as best he could.

"Has that line worked on many women?" Hermione teased as she snuggled into him and tucked her face against his chest. She moved in between his legs, getting as close to him as possible.

"No, but there's apparently a first time for everything." His breath rifled her hair gently. "If Severus gets angry, I'll take the blame, 'Mione."

"It wasn't your fault," she sighed. "I just got caught off guard and dropped that damned unicorn hair in too early. Why didn't we run for the door?"

"The closet was closer. I sort of hauled you in here because it seemed the safest place. I remember Severus making these closets self-sealing so that if this ever happened he'd be fine. Not that he's ever had to use them…"

"So they're untested."

"Well, yes, technically. But I'd take us being locked in here as a good sign. Besides, I have faith in Severus' abilities."

"I have faith that he's going to slaughter us. Why were you coming to see me anyways?" Her hands burrowed under his robes and she wrapped her arms around him, letting his body heat warm her.

"To take you to lunch. You're terrible about that sort of thing."

"Now that you mention it, I am a bit hungry…"

"Oh, no, you're not allowed to become conscious of things you'd normally ignore just because we're trapped in a closet," Remus protested. Hermione giggled against him.

"Well thanks anyways, that was sweet," she offered.

"All part of my sinister master plan to get you in bed," he replied lightly.

"Fat chance, considering we're locked in a closet," she pointed out.

"True. But given the current impossibility of success, I must know: would it have worked?" he asked.

"It always does. Damned thoughtfulness gets me every time." He felt her smile.

"I thought it was my dashing good looks, charm, and overall sex appeal," he laughed.

"Hmmm, I'll admit that you're hot. And sexy. Charming is debatable."

He poked her indignantly. Silence reigned for a moment.

"You know, Remus, there is a way we could occupy our time while incarcerated," Hermione suggested with a low chuckle.

He gasped with faux shock. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting? Sweet, wholesome Hermione Granger?"

She laughed again. "I'm suggesting exactly what you think I'm suggesting. And more." Hermione shifted to straddle him and pulled away from his chest. "It'd keep us warm," she murmured tantalizingly.

"Far be it from me to refuse anything that will keep you warm," he agreed, hands slipping beneath her robes and shirt.

"Ah, cold!" she yelped, hands clutching at his shirt. He rubbed his hands on her back and they warmed quickly. Hermione untucked his shirt and began unbuttoning it. He pushed her robes off her shoulders and pulled her shirt over her head. When it was off and his shirt was open he pulled her into his chest.

"Warm enough?" he asked, large hands stroking her back. He leaned down to kiss her neck, sucking on it gently.

"Getting there," she breathed, raking her nails lightly down his back. "But I think we can do better."

He groaned as her hands slid into his pants and massaged his lower back. His hands stilled for a moment, momentarily distracted from the task of pushing her jeans off her hips.

"You're tense, darling," she whispered. "Let's see if we can relieve some of that tension, shall we?" She caught his lower lip between her teeth then released it to give him a proper kiss. The kiss ignited him and Remus gripped her ass for a moment then yanked her jeans off with a growl. His hands kneaded her ass for a moment before hooking into her panties and tugging them off as well.

"Oh!" Hermione cried out as Remus plunged two fingers into her. She tangled her fingers in his hair, kissing him deeply as her libido switched into overdrive. Remus let out a low dark laugh as he stroked her.

"Warm yet, my love?" he murmured. This time it was he who caught her lower lip between his teeth, nibbling on it gently.

"Take off your pants and get inside me right this instant you tease," she said dangerously. Her tongue flicked into his ear and she sucked insistently on his earlobe. His response was to stroke her faster and harder until she dug her nails into shoulders.

"Hey now, I think you drew blood," he admonished.

"That's what you get for not listening to me," Hermione shot back. "I'd be far warmer if you were less clothed." She rose to her knees and unbuttoned his pants and tugged them off, along with his boxers. He removed his fingers and his hands shifted to grip her hips as she lowered herself onto his erect cock.

"I can feel the tension leaving already," Remus moaned. Hermione laughed and sped up the rhythm of her hips as she ground against him. He kissed her neck, her shoulder, her breasts. Hermione whimpered, feeling his mouth on her skin and feeling the sensation and emotion rush through her.

"Remus," she whispered into his hair, cheek resting against his head as he sucked on one of her breasts, tongue flicking at the nipple.

"Sweet Hermione," he murmured against her, feeling her body react to his touch.

"Remus," she moaned as the pressure began to build steadily. Her entire body felt alive, each individual nerve and cell sparking.

"Yes, my sweet Hermione," he responded, voice low and hoarse as he kissed along her jaw toward her mouth. He was fast approaching his limit but controlled himself.

"Oh, Remus, yes!" she cried out as she hit her climax, bolts of lightning firing into her brain and ricocheting till she felt she might not bear it.

"Hermione," he growled, voice desperate and adoring as he let himself go, spilling into her and feeling her muscles grip him tightly. "My sweet, sweet Hermione."

Hermione slumped against Remus, curling against him. He pulled his robe around her so they were covered and kissed her head gently.

"Are you warm then?" he teased, holding her tightly in his arms.

"Very," she mumbled huskily. "Are you tense?"

"Not in the slightest," he laughed.

Hermione yawned. "We should probably get dressed. Just in case this closet decides to unlock itself. Maybe cast some cleaning spells. I doubt Severus would like it if he got trapped in this closet and it still smelled like sex."

"You're quite likely right," Remus agreed with a chuckle. "Unless Tonks were stuck in here with him."

"That still blows my mind," Hermione said ponderously as she cast two cleaning spells and pulled on her underwear and jeans. "Of all the unlikely pairs…"

"We're not really ones to talk," Remus pointed out as he put on his own pants.

"Touche," she admitted, hooking her bra and fumbling for her shirt. "I wonder how long we'll—shit!" The closet door opened and Hermione tumbled backwards. A pair of hands caught her and pulled her to her feet. Remus scrambled to his feet as well and exited the closet, shirt still unbuttoned.

"I really don't want to turn around because I don't have a shirt on and I have a very good idea who's behind me," Hermione said.

"Yeah, if it were me, I'd feel exactly the same," piped up a feminine voice. "And you're right. It wasn't me that caught you. Put on your shirt and I'll distract the object of your embarrassment until you can get out of the room."

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" Hermione asked rhetorically as she pulled on her shirt and robe and tucked away her wand.

"No," came the low, melodious voice from behind her. "But if it's any consolation, neither will Lupin."

Remus looked up from buttoning his shirt, face flushed. "Watch it, Severus, or I'll have to tell people about that incident with you, Tonks, and the teachers' table in the Great Hall. You're lucky I can selectively Oblivate or those students would have been scarred for life."

Hermione turned just in time to see Snape wince and Tonks blush. "And on that note, I think I'll get some lunch," she said as she moved toward the door with Remus on her tail.

She bolted as Snape saw the cauldron and turned a steely gaze on her.

"Bye, Tonks, bye Severus!" she yelled as she grabbed Remus' hand and ran.


The bellow followed them down the hall but they paid no mind—after all, potions could be brewed again and it had been an afternoon well spent.