"Actually the kiss is the easy part. The difficult part is going to be finding Jack before the sun goes down completely, or the transformation becomes permanent." Daniel shifted uncomfortably, as the others looked over their shoulders at the pond which was filled with hundreds, maybe even thousands of frogs, and the enormity of their task set in.Chapter 3: The Frog Colonel
"We'll just have to find the Colonel before then." Sam looked worried, but her voice held an edge of determination. Now that it was clear that Jack had been turned into a frog, and the place was crawling with the things, how were they ever going to find one particular frog among so many and deliver the needed kiss?
"Indeed" Teal'c sounded just as determined to find their missing team member.
Sam frowned, looking at the level of the sun. They had arrived on the planet late morning and had spent a good part of the afternoon traveling and studying the temple and the alien device. The hour was now late, and only a few precious hours were left now before the sun set on the planet, if she were any judge. "I don't think we have time to return to the SGC to appraise General Hammond of what's happened. The Colonel may not have that much time."
"We should start looking right away, likely he's in the pond, since that's where the whirlwind seemed to be localized." Daniel frowned at the murky water, pushing his glasses up on his nose.
"Well, my mother always said I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my prince." Sam made a face of distaste as she surveyed the slimy green pond teeming with equally slimy green amphibians. Damn alien artifacts anyway.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow.
"Are you sure about this Daniel?" At Daniel's nod, Sam walked down the steps to the pond. "We'd best get started then." Sighing, Sam waded into the shallow pool. "The things I do for love of my country," she muttered, rolling up her sleeves and wrinkling her nose. It wasn't that she didn't like frogs exactly. As a child, she'd been right out there clambering through creeks and ponds, digging up worms and frogs and snails with Mark and his friends. But kissing one? Selecting a fat frog, Sam held it up to eye level with both hands. "Colonel?" The frog blinked, its throat pouch puffing in and out. She blinked back. She sighed. This was getting nowhere fast. "Better pucker up, Major." Screwing her eyes tightly shut, Sam quickly brought the amphibian to her lips, giving it a brief and rather chaste kiss on the end of its snout.
"Bleagh" Thrusting the frog out at arms length, Sam cracked one eye open, observing the frog for any signs of change. Was it maybe breathing a little faster? The frog kicked one leg and let out a throaty croak. Nope, not the Colonel. Dropping the fat frog back into the pond, Sam cast a glance to where Teal'c and Daniel stood nice and dry, and shook her head at them before going after another frog when a thought occurred to her.
"You know, guys, it didn't actually say that the kiss had to come from me did it?" Sam straightened with another likely victim clasped in her hands, and watched the startled looks on their faces.
Teal'c recovered first. "No Major Carter, it did not."
Daniel pushed his glasses up on his nose as he watched Sam kiss the second frog with as much success as the first one. If not for the dire circumstances, the sight would have been amusing. Suddenly uncomfortable with where the Major's line of reasoning was headed, Daniel shifted slightly. "Erm, no, it didn't. It said someone close. I just assumed…"
Major Samantha Carter dropped her latest frog back into the pond where it promptly swam away and pulled herself up to her full height, planted her fists on both hips and glared at her two still very clean, very dry, and fairly useless teammates. She suddenly realized just what they had assumed and they had another thing coming. "Then I suggest you stop assuming and the two of you get in here and help me find the Colonel. We've only got a few more hours before the transformation becomes permanent." With that, Sam turned her back on them, and bent to kiss yet another frog to hide her rapidly warming cheeks.
Daniel blinked, and turned to look at Teal'c, who merely raised an eyebrow, then laid his staff weapon on the stairs by the pool, rolled up his sleeves as Major Carter had done, and stepped into the pond, where he picked up the first frog he came to. "Greetings," he said solemnly, and then kissed it gently, almost reverently on the nose. Teal'c was already moving onto his second frog by the time Daniel was able to recover his shock at seeing the large Jaffa warrior tenderly kissing a frog. Bad enough Sam kissing one, but Teal'c? And he, Dr. Daniel Jackson, archeologist, linguist, anthropologist, was about to join them. General Hammond was never going to believe this report. Just how did SG-1 always end up on these sorts of missions?
Carefully watching his step, Daniel waded in a direction different from his two teammates, trying to cover a section of the pond other than the one Sam and Teal'c were covering (it wouldn't do to have them all kissing the same frog would it? Or maybe it would, who knew?) Daniel winced as something squelched under his foot. Frogs hopped and splashed and croaked about in the pond, and Daniel despaired of ever finding the missing Colonel. Picking up a dripping wet frog, Daniel regarded it. "Jack, you owe me, big time for this one." And with that, Daniel's lips touched frog lips. "Bleh! Bleh! Oh! Yuck! That's just gross!"
"Daniel, don't be such a girl," Sam called teasingly. "I think they're kind of cute." Having had time to get accustomed to the idea of kissing frogs, Sam could afford to tease Daniel, and held up her own frog, petting it before giving it a loving kiss and returning it to its companions, getting another in the process.
"Indeed Daniel Jackson. The amphibians seem to welcome our attentions." The frogs seemed to almost be jumping into Teal'c's cupped hands for their kisses. Must be some sort of Jaffa zen thing. Daniel frowned, still tasting frog slime in his mouth.
In the face of such displays, Daniel had no choice but to swallow his revulsion, and get on with it. Sam grinned privately at the desired effect, and continued with her own task. Kissing frogs Sam had discovered was a lot like blind dates. Most of them were pretty boring. Some of them were mildly interesting, like the lively little croaker that had just leapt away across the pond after receiving his kiss. Must be the love 'em and leave 'em type Sam thought dismissively. And some of the frogs were actually better kissers than some of the dates she'd been on, which really didn't say much about her pathetic love life, or lack thereof.
The minutes dragged on, and the first hour passed as the three still human members of SG-1 slogged through the pond kissing as many frogs as they could. As their precious time ticked by, they called out for their missing teammate and started to drift together, comparing frogs, searching, hoping.
"Here," Daniel grabbed a likely frog. "This one looks like Jack." He quickly pecked it on what passed for a frog's cheek. Nothing. Sam grabbed his wrist, bringing the frog closer to her own face, and left a soft kiss on the frog's lips, before gently taking the frog from Daniel's hands and offering it to Teal'c, who pressed a kiss to the top of the frog's head. Still nothing. They sighed together. This had been going on for the last thirty minutes each time one of them thought they had found a frog that might have looked like Jack. Sam let the frog go, and they each went back to the task at hand, weary and sore, and very much aware of what little time remained.
It was mostly silent in the pond, but for the splashes of their boots, and the frogs, and their occasional calls of "Colonel!" "Jack!" or "O'Neill". They wondered what the frogs thought of this intrusion into their normally peaceful home, and the odd behavior of the three humans.
If only the three had known that the frogs for the most part ignored the humans, unless of course they were being kissed, and then of course it was a minor inconvenience until it was released to swim away again, except for the unlucky few that got caught over again, or got kissed more than once, but still, the frogs were certain the inconvenience would go away. At least most of the frogs were. All but one that is. One frog that just didn't seem to be all that good of a swimmer compared to the others, who had started out on the wrong side of the pond when all the commotion started and didn't know what was happening at first. It had taken him so long to figure out what was going on that now he worried that the delay would cost him dearly.
Because now he knew that that was his team out there, and they were out there kissing frogs, and he knew that the fact they were kissing frogs had to have something to do with him, and he wanted their lips on his lips. Well, maybe not Teal'c's or Daniel's, but Carter was there, and he wouldn't mind Carter's lips on his lips any day, frog or not.
And so the frog formerly known as an Air Force Colonel did his best to kick, jump, hop and swim as best he could to the three humans, climbing over, under, or around other frogs and obstacles when they got in the way, heading unerringly toward Carter. Not that he didn't appreciate Teal'c or Daniel… Just that a kiss from them seemed so wrong when a kiss from her seemed so right.
And then her hands were holding him, and her eyes were closed. "Carter?" he said, but it sounded more like "Croaker?" It didn't even faze her as her soft lips neared his. She must have had a lot of practice, kissing all of those other frogs. Jack was green with envy. Heh. Good one. His froggy lips curled up at the corners. And then it happened. Her lips touched his so gently.
Nothing happened at first, and for a moment, Jack's heart squeezed painfully. But then he started to feel warm all over, and brightness started to fill him. He heard someone gasp and looked to see Carter's wide blue eyes staring at him in shock. Suddenly, she was stumbling backwards, and they were both falling as she landed on her butt in the shallow water of the pond with a splash. Somehow, she held onto him, now at arm's length.
But Jack didn't have any time for further consideration. The warmth continued to consume him, and he felt his arms and legs lengthening, his body expanding, his head swelling. He thought there should have been pain, but there was only warmth. And then it was all over.
And suddenly he was conscious of being held in someone's arms. A very soft, very warm someone. Who was under him. A very female someone. Who was sprawled in shallow, murky, slimy water. And he was naked. Very naked. And that someone was Carter. Who was still under him. And had he mentioned he was naked? On top of Carter?
With a yelp, he rolled away, grabbing for a lily pad in an effort to cover his dignity, and managing to startle a few frogs in the process.
He blinked. She blinked. This was going well. Time for a little icebreaker. He sucked in a breath. "Sooo. Nice kiss." Her eyes grew wide. Did he just say that? D'oh! Fortunately for them both, the cavalry arrived. What took you so long guys?
"Whoa, hey. Jack." Daniel didn't seem to know whether to laugh or look away.
"Welcome back O'Neill. Do you require assistance in rising?" Ah, good old Teal'c.
"Ah, no, I think I'll wait right here until my pants dry." Jack decided he didn't want to know what the green slimy thing was that just floated by, nor the squishy thing he could feel between his toes. Part of him wanted to run screaming from the pond, dignity be damned, but he was a Colonel in the USAF fer cryin' out loud, and Colonels did not go running and screaming from anything. And then something nudged against his very bare butt cheek and he hoped it was a frog and thought there might always be a first time for some things. His team would never tell, would they?
"Ah, Jack, you don't have any pants." Oh, how very observant you are Daniel. Jack scowled. He'd remember that evil glint the next time Daniel woke up in a field, naked, with no memories.
And then Teal'c was removing his jacket and holding it out to him like a holy grail, and Jack thought it was the best thing since beer and ice hockey. Well, almost. "Carter, turn around," he ordered, deciding to ignore the muffled snort. She had just kissed a pond full of frogs for him. How many guys could claim a woman had done that for them? He smirked as he used the sides of his hands to scrape as much of the murk off his body as he could before gratefully accepting the proffered jacket and tying it about his waist.
Mourning the loss of his boots, Jack stepped onto the grass around the outside of the pond. At least the trek back to the gate wasn't very far, only an hour's walk and over grassland, so hopefully his feet wouldn't protest too much. Jack surveyed the rest of his team. The kids looked tired and dirty, streaked with muck, especially Carter, who'd gotten dunked rather unceremoniously. He tried not to let his eyes linger on the way her BDUs clung to her curves. She met his eyes, and gave him a soft smile.
Silently they gathered what little gear and weapons they still had left. Tongues would wag when they walked back through the gate, but at least they'd be walking back through the gate this time. "OK kids, we ready to go?" Jack asked.
Somewhere in the pond, a frog croaked, and Carter, Daniel, and Teal'c all made nearly identical faces of distaste. Wisely, Jack did not make a comment. As one, the team turned towards the gate, quickly leaving the pond behind. Jack moved to fall in step with Carter.
"So, Carter, find any princes?" Sam looked at him curiously, and then looked away. She was silent for so long Jack wondered if he'd maybe overstepped his bounds. He let her walk a few steps ahead to give her space, and instead found himself transfixed by the way her hips swayed, telling himself it must be from the clinging wet fabric that he was noticing now, and not the fact that he was wearing nothing except a jacket and pond scum. And that his second had just kissed him. Not that they'd had any choice… But still, it had been a rather nice kiss, and he started to think of other places he' like to have those lips. With a supreme act of conscience, Jack tried to focus on something else. Oh, look, grass; see how it swayed, just like Carter's hips… Shit. Mind. Out. Of. Gutter.
"Maybe." Her sudden single word startled him so that he stumbled, catching his bare foot on a root, which in turn caused the jacket to slip precariously. Grabbing at the jacket allowed the Major to stride several more steps ahead and so Jack missed the mischievous grin on her face as he made to make sure all his important parts remained decently covered.
Catching up to her again, he glanced sideways at her, but her face was expressionless as she took in her surroundings like any good soldier. "Maybe?" he said.
She shrugged, and was silent again for another few yards, and then cast a sly glance his way. Suddenly she picked up her pace, moving to outdistance him and join Teal'c and Daniel, and he couldn't help but notice again the way the damp fabric hugged her rear end, especially with the way she was moving her hips just so, and he knew she was doing it on purpose, but couldn't call her on it because he had started it with his staring and choice of conversation. Distracted as he was with the view and the thoughts in his head, he was caught off guard when she called back over her shoulder. "He's a good kisser!"
At that, Jack stopped short, dumfounded. His mouth worked, but no sound came out. He stood motionless that way for several moments, before he shook himself, a grin spreading across his face. "Oy." He said. And then he ran to catch up to the woman who would kiss a pond full of frogs to find just the right one.
A/N: And I hope you've enjoyed it! Honestly, I'm not sure what came over me, I've always liked the Frog Prince, and somehow, the idea of a Frog Colonel was too tempting to pass up, and I started researching Greek and Roman Gods to see if I could find something appropriate, turned up nothing, than stumbled across Heqet, who really does exist! (I was googling the god of frogs lol, and found Heqet in among numerous F.R.O.G or Fully Rely On God sites lol) The connections were just too sweet to pass up, and so Just a Kiss was born.