Alright, here's my new story which sort of focuses around Sirius at first, but then James and Lily so I don't have a clue where to put this. I think it's a bit odd, so just bear with me here.

I'm going to warn you now. I'm not the best person to update (in other words, I suck, you've been warned!), but this has been in my document manager since September (it seriously has) and I have the next chapter written, so hopefully it won't be too bad. I'm particularly proud of this. I think it's my best work, but my other stories suck in my opinion so...

I made some minor edits to this which is why there isn't a new chapter right now, but there will be in a little while because I'm about to start editing the next chapter.

Let me know if there's any name confusion because I renamed one of the characters 3 times, and I think I changed it all to what it's supposed to be, just let me know if I missed one and I'll change it.

Summary: Sirius is secretly in love with Lily, as is James. Lily has finally agreed to go out with James, though. Sirius desperately tries to destroy their date, and from that we have my new story.

Sirius-Isms

Disclaimer: I do not own Sirius, Lily, James, or any other characters, places, or things that you recognize. All I own is this pretty disclaimer!

Chapter 1: Best Friends and Curses

Sirius was staring at the Hogwarts grounds out of the window in the Gryffindor Common Room. His best friend, James, was standing down there talking with Lily, and Sirius had a strong feeling of what James might be saying to the girl that Sirius had been in love with for a year. Lily was absolutely perfect. Sirius could find no flaws about her. She was tall and beautiful. She was smart and stood up for herself and other, even though she usually did this to Sirius and James. Sirius loved her anyways.

Sirius had never admitted his feelings for Lily to anyone, although Remus did figure it out eventually. But James had been in love with Lily since first year, and Sirius always felt that his loyalty was to his friend. He always figured that James would eventually give up and move on with his life, leaving Sirius free to ask out Lily.

"What are you doing, Padfoot?" came a voice from behind Sirius, as he instantly recognized it.

"Nothing, Moony," he replied as James left Lily looking rather excited, and Lily's best friend, Nore, ran over to her. "Damn."

"What?" queried Remus.

"Nothing," Sirius repeated as Remus joined him by the window and looked down where Sirius had been looking.

"You know, Padfoot, if you keep this up you could achieve stalker status," commented Remus as though they were discussing the weather.

"I'm not a stalker!" protested Sirius grumpily.

"If you love her so much why don't you ask her out?" questioned Remus tiredly, as though they had had this conversation many times before.

"Because James has a tiny crush on her, and he's my best friend!" answered Sirius.

"Why don't you tell him how you feel?" asked Remus.

"Because James would kill me!" exclaimed Sirius.

Remus did not deny this, not that he had the chance. Because at that very moment, James came bursting into the Common Room looking as though he had just run a marathon. Breathing heavily, he walked as fast as he could over to Sirius and Remus.

"She said yes!" he managed to say between breaths with an extremely proud look on his face.

"Who? Lily?" asked Sirius sounding shocked.

"Yeah," said James with a distant, dreamy look on his face. "I have to go meet Lily in the library now. She said she'd help me with my Charms essay too. It's so much better to call her by her first name instead of Evans."

And with that, James exited the Common Room, as quickly as he had entered it.

"Sirius," said Remus softly immediately after James had left them.

"Damn it. You know me too well," muttered Sirius sourly as he glared at James as he left the Common Room.

"How are you?" questioned Remus concernedly.

"I'm fine," lied Sirius. "Why shouldn't I be? Just because my best friend is going on a date with the girl I've had a crush on since sixth year!"

"As opposed to James who has loved her since first year," Remus reasoned.

"Exactly. Moony, you have to help me!" cried Sirius desperately.

"With what?" asked Remus, looking at Sirius very suspiciously.

"You have to help me ruin their date so Lily will fall in love with me instead," Sirius pleaded insanely.

"Sirius, do you realize what you're asking me to do?" asked Remus very slowly as though he was talking to a small child.

"Yes," replied Sirius in the same tone that Remus had used on him.

"So, you realize hat you're asking me to help you ruin your very best friend's date with a girl that it took him four years to agree to go out with him?" asked Remus incredulously.

"Well, he shouldn't be going out with a girl that I have a crush on! He should know better!" protested Sirius.

"He doesn't know that you fancy her!" retorted Remus. "If he knew he might not have asked her out!"

"Well, why didn't you tell me earlier?" cried Sirius exasperatedly.

Remus shrugged and said, "Sirius, James has been waiting a very long time to get a date with Lily. He's been in love with her since his first year. Why can't you just be happy for him?"

"Well, why can't it be the other way around?" asked Sirius. "Besides I've had a crush on her since sixth year, so I've fancied her longer."

"That makes no sense," said Remus with a sigh.

"Yes, it does! Because six is a higher number than one, so that proves that I've loved her longer!"

"No, that proves that you can't count," snapped Remus who was beginning to sound annoyed.

"Fine. Make fun of me. Betray me, just like James. He stole the girl I'm in love with!"

"First of all I am not betraying you and neither did James. And as for you loving Lily, you don't know anything about her," reasoned Remus.

"I do too!" lied Sirius who know almost nothing about Lily apart from the fact that she was a muggle-born, in Gryffindor, and the Head Girl. But he didn't need to know everything about her. He knew he loved the way she looked when she laughed. He loved the way she stood up for others, even if it included Snivellus. He loved the way she always seemed to know the answers in class.

"What's her middle name?" questioned Remus taking Sirius from his list of the reasons why he fancied Lily.

"Er."

"Exactly," said Remus smugly.

"Fine! I'll just go and get someone else to help me!" cried Sirius.

"And I'll go warn James," Remus responded.

"No, you can't!" shouted Sirius as he pulled out his wand and aimed it at his friend. "Favericus."

"What did you do?" asked Remus sounding annoyed.

"Do mine ears deceive me? Does Prefect Moony not know what a spell does?" asked Sirius in tones of mock surprise.

"Sirius Orion Black," said Moony warningly.

"You'll figure it out later. It takes a few minutes to get started," replied Sirius as he quickly left the Common Room and ran away from his angry friend. He ran down the halls so quickly not watching where he was going that he bumped into two of his fellow Gryffindors seventh-years. Sirius got to his feet smiling at the two of them as a new plan formed in his head.

He studied both of the girls for a second. The first girl had long dark red hair and brilliant green eyes. The second girl was several inches shorter than the first and had short brownish-black hair and soft brown eyes.

Sirius held out a hand to Lily and helped her up, although he ignored her best friend, Nore, who got up looking slightly insulted and muttering wildly under her breath.

"Are you okay, Evans?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Lily replied.

"I'm fine too," interjected Nore slightly indignantly.

"That's good," he said. "I heard that you finally agreed to go out with Jamesie."

"Yes," said Lily smiling uncertainly. She had not detected the bitterness in Sirius's voice, although Nore might have because she was now staring shrewdly at Sirius.

"She agreed to go out with him out of her own free will," put in Nore rather pointedly.

"I didn't say that James forced her," muttered Sirius sulkily glaring at her.

"I have to go meet James in the library. I'll see you both later. Bye!" said Lily as she began heading in the direction of the library. Sirius felt anger flare up inside himself at these words, but he couldn't help smiling at her as she retreated to the library. Sirius was completely unaware that Nore was still there or that she was now staring at him.

"Sirius," said Nore waving a hand in front of her face. Sirius's thoughts were torn from Lily and were now on the short, seventh year in front of her. "You in there?"

"Oh, hey Nore," he said as though he just noticed that she was there.

"Were… were you just staring at Lily?" Nore asked again studying him intently.

"Of course not!" Sirius replied haughtily as though she were crazy. Sirius had always had a gift of making people believe whatever he said.

"Because the way you were just staring at her, it seemed as though… do you fancy her, Sirius?" Nore asked hesitantly but determinedly.

"No," denied Sirius in the same tone as before while Nore raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe a little," Sirius confessed as though it was the kind of thing one would say casually in passing.

Nore dropped her bag, so that all of her books, quills, ink, and parchment fell out and were splattered with tiny drops on ink. But Nore did not bend down to pick them up, nor was she aware that her bag was no longer in her hands.

"Sirius!" she hissed. "Does James know?"

"Yes, of course he does! Why else would he have asked her out?" retorted Sirius sarcastically.

"What's James going to do when he finds out? He's completely in love with her!"

"So am I!" responded Sirius hotly.

"What's her middle name?" asked Nore.

"Why do people keep asking me that?" asked a very frustrated Sirius putting his hand up to his head.

"James will kill you when he finds out!"

"Which is why we're not going to tell him!"

"So, you're just going to secretly be in love with Lily forever?" she asked.

"No. Really, Nore, they won't go out for more than a week," answered Sirius a lot more confidently then he felt.

"What if they go out more than a week? What if he and Lily get along real well and they get married or something?" inquired Nore.

Sirius felt a powerful surge of jealousy rise through him. He felt anger. He had a vision of Lily and James kissing. Of James proposing to her. Of them getting married while he stood off to the side. He envisioned small versions of James and Lily running around a yard calling him Uncle Padfoot. And for the first time ever, Sirius sincerely wished that he had never met James Potter.

"We have to make sure that does not happen!" Sirius told her. "I can't be Uncle Padfoot!"

"Uncle Padfoot? And we?" repeated Nore. "What? Do you want me to help you sabotage their date or something?"

"Yes!" cried Sirius.

"No!"

"Nore! Why not?" he whined.

"Let's see," she replied in tones of mock seriousness. "One, she's my best friend. Two, he's your best friend. Three, he's loved her since forever. Four-"

"Okay. Okay. But, what if she and James do hit it off and Lily falls in love with him and then he just decides to dump her," Sirius pointed out.

"He's been after her for years! He's not about to dump her," Nore assured him although Sirius was positive that he had detected a note of doubt in her voice. A new plan was now forming in his head as he looked at her.

"That's exactly it! People want what they can't have! Now that James has Lily he won't want her anymore!" argued Sirius. He knew that Nore was immensely loyal to her friend and would hate it if Lily were to be crushed by James.

"That's not true," countered Nore, the doubt in her voice becoming more pronounced each second.

"It is! Help me, Nore," pleaded Sirius. "I know you don't want to see Lily hurt and neither do I."

"She won't be hurt," she muttered trying to convince herself more than Sirius. "James is…"

Sirius and Nore both knew exactly what James was. For someone who always seemed to be chasing after Lily, he also always seemed to have a girlfriend as well. And James seemed to have a knack for breaking their hearts. He had never had a relationship that had last more than three weeks. Sirius knew how much Nore would hate it for Lily to become another name on the long list of James's ex-girlfriends. But then again, Sirius knew that James genuinely loved Lily.

"I love her more," whispered Sirius so distractedly that he did not hear Nore speak.

"Sirius, did you hear me? I said I'd help," repeated Nore looking as though she regretted each word as she spoke them.

"Really? You will?" asked Sirius excitedly, as new plans were once more forming in his head.

"Yes," sighed Nore. "But I'm adding this to the list of Sirius-isms."

"What?"

"It's the list that Lily and I have of the stupid things you do."