A/N: hey all, this is a revision of my first fic. To revise it I focused on grammatical issues mostly and some style here and there. I didn't try to recreate the plot or thicken it. I thought that as a first stage, grammar and style were more crucial. It was my first fic after all. I might do a more thorough revision as well when I find the time for it, but in the meantime this is what I've got. If you feel it's sort of empty content-like, all I have to say to my defense (before you flame) is that it's been almost 2 years since I wrote it, there are lots of other (and better) stuff I've done ever since, and I learned a lot since I've completed this one. I know it's hardly an excuse but just don't judge according to this one fic. Thanks everyone, and happy reading!

Disclaimer: All Wicked characters belong to Gregory Maguire, lyrics belong to Stephen Schwartz. The amazing Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth and the rest of the gang brought these characters to life- I'm just playing with them!


If Only

Prologue

I hope you're happy, now that you're choosing this…

Elphaba tried to clear her mind off all thoughts and feelings and just sink deeper into slumber, but it was impossible. She felt as if she was floating on air. Its been over a week passed since her supposedly death, yet Glinda's voice kept haunting her, her innocent image in her baby-blue dress, her eyes full of tears and fear of the future. She held the Grimmerie close to her heart, as if it was a part of Elphie herself.

Because I knew you…

Elphaba couldn't jeopardize Glinda's safety by telling her the truth about Fiyero's plan. It would be safer for Glinda to believe them to be dead, mourn them and after some time, forget. Time had the power to heal everything, people used to say. Elphaba hoped it was true. She was devastated by having to keep their secret from the one who turned out to be her best friend. Her only friend, as a matter of fact. Fiyero constantly reminding her it was for the best. Elphaba knew that he was right, too. Glinda could never find out the truth.

They finally got to the deserted cabin in the depths of the forest after four days of walking. Being a scarecrow was a benefit for Fiyero, for he didn't get tired. Elphaba, on the other hand, was exhausted, both mentally and physically. The water hadn't done any serious damage; it was only a bucket after all. It left some burns on her emerald skin, but nothing that wouldn't fade after a while. Saying goodbye to Glinda was probably the hardest thing in the whole operation.

Unlimited, together we're unlimited…

Often Elphaba found herself wondering, what would have happened if Glinda did go on her broom back then, years ago in the Emerald City. If only… Her skin burnt as a single tear slid down her cheek. Unable to resist it any longer, she drifted off to slumber.


Fiyero watched Elphaba's sleeping form from the threshold. She twisted and turned in her sleep, murmuring Glinda's name in despair. He knew that she was tormented by having to leave her best friend behind, in the chaos of the Emerald City. Knowing that there was nothing he could do for her broke his heart. Already she'd been through so much, suffered so much…

He found the secluded cabin by accident while crossing the forest with Dorothy, the Tin Man (who turned out to be Boq) and the lion. It was deserted, Boq said, and Fiyero thought it was a perfect place for hiding. He knew Elphaba couldn't hide forever at Kiamo Ko. That was when he first thought of the plan. Hearing Boq talk about Elphaba in such rage made him feel bad, angry even. Even Boq, who knew her back then at Shiz, believed the evil rumors of her being Wicked. He remembered thinking that for a heartless man, he was actually full of emotion. Throughout Oz, people were full of hate and fury towards the Wicked Witch of the West; they called for revenge without even knowing her. He had to protect her. He just hoped that he would get to her on time, before she would try to do something stupid. No-one would find them there, he assured her when he told her about his plan. She was already so desperate, the citizens of Oz so angry… Nessa was dead and gone and now they were after her sister… He feared they didn't have much time.

They walked through the forest for four days, two cloaked figures. They hardly spoke to one another. Elphaba was still a bit traumatized by the whole water incident and Fiyero knew better than trying to talk to her at the moment, so he just left her alone.

She looked horribly sick when they finally got there. She shivered violently and he helped her getting into the only bed in the tiny bedroom. He found several blankets in the closet and pulled them around her. She couldn't stop shivering. He tucked her in like a baby and just sat by her side all night long, while she drifted in and out of consciousness. She slept for three days now, murmuring names… Nessa… Glinda… Mama…Dr. Dillamond… Sometimes she woke up screaming. He was there to hold her when each nightmare had come and gone. She couldn't stop crying, even though it burnt her face. When she seemed to be alright he went out to get some fruit for both of them; he didn't have much luck hunting.

Most of the times, he felt so lonely. They were finally together, but she slept and slept and though he knew how much she needed it, he longed to hold her in his arms, to kiss her like he used to, to fall asleep and wake up next to her like he always wanted. They shared happiness for such a short time. He knew he loved her. In fact, he had never loved anyone as much as he loved her. His feelings for her were so strong and powerful it frightened him.

He sat next to her on the bed and gently moved a strand of raven-black hair off her face. She looked so peaceful and careless that reality looked like a far away dream. "I love you so much, Fae," his voice was no more than a whisper in the cold room.

She smiled in her sleep, and leaned into him. "Love you too, Yero…" she murmured.

He held her close and rocked her gently in his arms. "Everything will be all right, I promise."

He felt her stir in his arms. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Don't make promises that you won't be able to keep," she said quietly but seriously. He couldn't help noticing the sadness in her eyes.

"I can't stand seeing you like this, Fae."

"Like what?" she asked, caressing his stuffed face.

"Defeated. It's not like you. You have always been so strong, you don't let anyone break you down."

"Maybe I'm tired of being so strong. There's no hope this time, Fiyero."

"There's hope for us," he reminded her, meaning every word.

She nodded and held his hand in hers. "I'm sorry I did… this… to you," her voice trembled. "Damn tears!" She flinched as another tear rolled down her cheek. He used his stuffed hand to wipe it away. "Thanks," she said quietly.

"You see, I'm useful that way," he grinned.

She frowned. "It's not funny. I'll never forgive myself for-"

"Elphaba, you must stop doing this. Stop feeling guilty for everything. It's the best you could do. We both know it was."

"I was so afraid I'd lose you too."

"I know… you won't… I'm here…" he whispered, wrapping his arms tighter around her.

"What are we going to do?" she asked, in a desperate kind of way that was so unlike her.

"We can't stay here, that's for sure," Fiyero replied. "If the Wizard sends his spies over here they'll find us for sure." They had no way of knowing about the Wizard's departure, Madam Morrible's imprisonment and Glinda's becoming the head of the Emerald City. For a moment, he could feel Elphaba's desperation taking hold on him as well, when all of a sudden something occurred to him. "My great-grandfather has a castle just outside of the Emerald City, on the other side of this forest. When you are better, we can go there."

Elphaba raised an eyebrow. Beyond this clear desperation in her expression, she was obviously very much amused. "Another castle?" she asked, but then looked serious again. "Will he have us? I mean, I'm the Wicked Witch of the West and supposedly dead and you look like… this… Is it safe?"

"I don't think he'll mind. He is dead," answered Fiyero with a smirk, "and that means that this castle belongs to me now. I'm a prince, in case you forgot," he added.

Elphaba shook her head, a small smile curling on her lips. "No, I didn't forget," she replied softly. "Fine, that's what we'll do then."

"As soon as you get better. I can't carry you in my arms, you know. And we have these two satchels to carry." The two satchels contained several books and dresses that Elphaba succeeded to take out of the castle in Kiamo Ko.

"I'm feeling better already."

"You must eat something. Unfortunately, I couldn't hunt looking like this, but I got you some fruit."

"You are my angel," a beautiful smile lightened up her face. She leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes.

"And you are mine," he murmured, but there was no reply as Elphaba was soon fast asleep.