Breaking Point – Chapter Three
"I take it you've accepted my resignation?" I ask sleepily, having just awoken to find myself in the same position I fell asleep in.
Jack, of course, is already awake, his fingers gently stroking my bare back. "Nah. I think I'd enjoy a court-martial." He says, his tone less sarcastic than usual.
"Funny." I tell him. I just know he's smirking at the top of my head. My hand traces lazy circles on his abdomen. One of my circles goes wide and my fingers brush lightly over his side.
He flinches. "Stop it."
I look up at him. "You're ticklish." I accuse him.
He looks uncomfortable. "Yeah… so?"
"All these years and I never knew…" I tease, tracing circles once more.
"Yeah. I can see how it shoulda been one of the first things I said to you." He says, his right hand coming up to capture my left and still its languid circling.
"I still don't think you should quit the Air Force." He says.
"It's not up to you." I tell him.
"No seriously, hear me out. I've been thinking about this." I giggle at that. "Shut up." He growls. "I could retire-"
"I told you that's not an option."
"Sam, will you listen to me for once?" He pleads, somewhat unfairly. I open my mouth to speak, but he drops my hand and puts a finger to my lips. "Shh. I could run the SGC as a civilian." He unveils his brilliant plan.
And it is brilliant. I guess. "But-"
"No buts. They let Weir run the SGC. She was a civilian." He points out.
"She was a doctor."
"You sayin' I serve no purpose if I'm not a General? Gee, Carter, I'm hurt." He says, his tone full of false pain.
I look up and glare at him. "No. That's not what I'm saying. I just think that this is the best all-round solution."
"How? You'll lose your command."
"I know, and it's a sacrifice, believe me." I pause. "But not as much of a sacrifice as I would be making if I stayed in the Air Force."
He gives me his perfected blank look and waits for me to go on.
"Think about it… if I stay team-leader of SG-1, I couldn't really have kids, could I? It wouldn't be fair."
He is now staring at me with something akin to abject terror in his eyes.
"Kids?" He asks.
"Yes, Jack. Kids. Is that a problem?"
He is silent for a moment, then says, "I didn't exactly do such a great job the first time around, Sam." His voice is quiet, his eyes subdued.
"Shut up. I don't wanna hear it. From what little I've seen and Daniel's been able to gather, you were a great father. Fantastic. What happened to Charlie wasn't your fault, Jack."
"I know." He says, still quiet.
I narrow my eyes at him.
"What?" He asks.
"You don't believe it though, do you? Jack, I want children. I want your children. And I know you want children."
He opens his mouth to protest.
"Ah!" I cut him off, using his own exclamation to do it. "I am not going to let either of us get in the way of that. Okay?"
He smiles at me, causing the feelings of intense delight and desire this ignites in me throwing my brokenness of last night into sharp relief. "You'd better call George."
"Don't change the subject." I tell him, resisting the urge to pick up a pillow and hit him with it.
"I'm not!" He protests. "I just think you should tell him about your plan before he comes to visit and finds a cradle in your lab."
"Good idea." I say, rising. He stays in the bed. I look back at him and catch him staring at my naked body. "So… kids?" I ask.
He looks up and catches my eye.
"Yeah, sure, you betcha." He drawls, grinning.
I nod and wander out of the room in search of a phone. As I reach the door I hear him ask, "What d'you think about Grace, if it's a girl?"
Oh yeah. So not broken anymore.