Warnings/Notes: Hey There! Here's another particularly absurd story by me! Let it be known to all that this story contains shounen ai, so if you have any problems with that, please feel free to press the back button!
Oh, and it's an AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade, or any of its characters. Nor do I own any of the fairytales which this story may refer to.
Happily Ever After
Chapter One; The Beginning
"The sun is shining, the birds are singing, oh what a wonderful day it is to be alive."
"Is that sarcasm I detect, Mr. Kinomiya?"
"No. And that's Prince Kinomiya to you Hilary."
"A fact that I try to forget. And that's Princess Hilary to you."
Prince Tyson Kinomiya scowled up at the sky, "Not that I like being a prince anyways."
Sitting next to him, his sister smirked at him, "And why is that?"
"Because it's a pain in the butt!"
Hilary sighed as she patiently waited for the outburst that was sure to come.
And it did.
"Why do I have to be a prince. It's so stupid! All boring manners and stuff! And don't even get me started on this stupid quest thing."
Hilary was sure that despite the fact that she most definitely wasn't going to get him started on the stupid quest thing, he would start anyway.
And he did.
"It's so pointless!"
"Hiro didn't have to do it!"
"He did, you just didn't pay any attention to it. If memory serves me correct, I believe you were in the kitchen when he left."
"Why would someone make me do such a stupid thing?"
"It's to prove that you're worthy to be a prince."
Tyson turned his attention from the sky and fixed her with a very dark glare, "How on earth does rushing off and saving a damsel in distress prove that I'm a prince? As a prince my main responsibility is to sit on my ass and watch my father sit on his ass- in a way more comfy chair than mine- and make decrees. And then, when he buggers off to go into retirement, I get to sit on my ass and watch my older brother make decrees in a way more comfy chair. And on the off chance that Hiro doesn't want to on his ass all day in the way more comfy chair and make decrees, I have to sit on my ass in the way more comfy chair and make the bloody decrees!"
Hilary blinked, "Err……..could you repeat that, maybe a little more slowly?"
But Tyson was on a role, and when he was on a role, he didn't stop for anyone, "Where in that, is there a need to be capable of saving damsels in distress?"
"Well………" said Hilary slowly, "I'm pretty sure that if the said damsel in distress joined you on the way more comfy chair, things would certainly be more enjoyable."
Tyson sweatdropped, "I guess……….."
"Though I suppose a lot less decrees would be made……………"
Tyson visibly brightened, "Yeah….."
Hilary's eyes went sparkly, "And it's so romantic!" She ignored the disgusted look her brother gave her and continued, "As a princess I know I would just love to be rescued by a bold handsome prince!" She gave Tyson a look, "Though I don't know how the girl you'll be saving will feel about it."
Tyson glared at her, "Why you-"
He was cut off by someone calling his name, "Tyson! There you are!"
Tyson sweatdropped as his brother came into view on the other side of the garden, "Uh oh."
Hilary poked him, "What?"
Tyson looked at the ground, "I was kinda meant to meet him this morning to get ready to leave…………"
"And you hid from him instead," said Hilary shrewdly, deadpanning.
Tyson smiled innocently, "Well I guess you could say-"
"Ah!" Tyson looked up to see Hiro looming over him, "Big brother! Fancy seeing you here!" he put a hand behind his head and laughed nervously.
Hiro gave him a pained look, "Tyson………."
Tyson stood smiled up at him, eyes shining, "Yes, my kind, compassionate, handsome, loving and forgiving older brother?"
Hiro rolled his eyes, and dropped some keys and a piece of paper on Tyson's lap. "You can take my car, and here's the address of the princess."
Hilary blinked, looking confused, "What?"
"You just have to travel far and wide and you'll be there in no time."
Tyson made a face and stood up pouting, "But Hiro!"
"Don't 'but Hiro' me! The sooner you go the sooner you can come back."
Hilary looked between the two, "He's taking a car? And you've told him exactly where to find a princess to save? I thought you'd make him take a horse! Or at least walk! And 'far and wide' is the express way! You're totally sucking the romance out of everything?"
Her brothers stared at her.
"So?" asked Tyson.
"Romance?" asked Hiro.
They both looked terribly confused.
Hilary growled in annoyance, "Boys! You're all the same!" She stood up and pushed past them, "I'm going to my room. I hope you enjoy your little adventure Tyson, because it's a waste of time! What's the point on going on a quest if it's already all planned out like this! Back in the good old days a princess would expect, and get, a real night in shining armor! Not some jerk in a bad outfit! Wait till mother hears about this……….."
Her voice trailed off into the distance as she disappeared out of the garden.
"What's her problem?" asked Hiro still looking confused.
Tyson shrugged, "Girls, princesses……….. all the same. I bet she's gone off to write some of her poetry."
The two brothers cringed.
"At least I won't be here to listen to it."
Hiro glared at his younger brother, "Thanks."
Tyson adjusted his sunglasses, and turned up the radio as he drove down the far and wide. 'Traveling by horse, or walking. What was Hilary thinking?' He sniggered at the thought.
The road signs and the countryside flashed by as he sped along, taking absolutely no notice of the speed limit.
He'd been driving for a couple of hours and was pretty sure that the exit he wanted would come up fairly soon.
Sure enough, a few minutes later a sign labeled with the name of the exit he wanted appeared, and he left the freeway.
He glanced at the paper his brother had given him, and then proceeded to follow it's directions to the address he was looking for.
He eventually pulled up outside a large castle situated on top of a hill.
'Now all I have to do is save this chick and I can be on my way,' he thought to himself as he left his car and went to the door. 'In and out, no nonsense. That's the way to do this.'
Pulling out the paper in his hand, Tyson stared at it for a moment and then knocked on the door.
After a while it opened, revealing a pale boy with dual colored hair and red eyes. The said eyes flickered over him and a look of distaste flitted across the boys face as he leaned casually against the doorframe, "Let me guess," said the boy before Tyson could speak, "You're a prince/warrior who's come to save the princess."
Tyson sweatdropped, but smiled, "Yeah, is this the right address?" He glanced down at his piece of paper, "The abhorrently large castle, on top of the hill, beside the lake, behind the forest?"
"Well………." said the boy slowly, "This is an abhorrently large castle. On top of a hill. Beside a lake. Behind a forest."
"Oh good! I'm Tyson by the way," he paused and looked the guy up and down, "I don't have to save her from you do I?"
The boy gave him a weary look, "No."
"And you are?"
"Are you her brother?"
Tyson looked puzzled, as he was running out of things this guy could be.
Kai scowled, "I'm only a little older than you!"
"Then who are you!"
Kai wore an expression that said he really didn't want to say.
"Fine!" snapped Tyson, well past being fed up, "Can you go and get her?" he paused and then added as an afterthought, "Please?"
"There's no need."
"What? Look, just stop playing around so I can get out of here already. Go and get her."
Kai sighed, "There's no need to get her, because she's already here."
Tyson looked around, "Huh? Where?"
"I'm the princess."
Tyson blinked, and stared open mouthed, "What! You're the princess."
The glaring Kai nodded curtly, "Apparently my parents had a sense of humor. As did my fairy godmother."
'And so does Hiro apparently' thought Tyson as he tried valiantly not to snigger, and failed miserably. "B-but you're a boy!" he paused and gave Kai a appraising look, "Aren't you?" He noted that Kai, though rather muscular, was particularly petite and curvy for a boy. Pretty too, his mind added, making him blush.
Kai's glare darkened, "Yes," he said primly, is tone indicating to Tyson that not only was he a boy, but he was a boy with fists and wasn't afraid to use them.
Kai cut him off, already knowing what he was going to ask, "No, I'm not cursed."
Tyson snorted, "You're a male princess. I'd call that cursed."
The Kai sighed and from his expression, it was clear that he'd heard all of this before, "Well, if that's all you want, I guess you'll be going now-" he went to shut the door in Tyson's face.
"No!" Tyson cut him off, sticking his foot in the door blocking it, "I need to save you!"
"Save me from what? The only problem I have, apart from an annoying young man on my doorstep, is my title. And nothing can save me from that."
Tyson glared at him, "I don't care, I've traveled far and wide to get here, and I'm not going back without saving a damsel- who is preferably a princess- in distress!"
Kai stared at him pointedly, "Far and wide? The express way? It doesn't go very far. It couldn't have taken you more than a few hours to get here." He stared past Tyson to look at the car parked in the background, "And it appears as though the only traveling you've done yourself is walk up to the door."
Tyson sweatdropped, "Yeah well……….Can you help me? Please?" he put on his puppy dog eyes.
Kai sighed and turned into the house, "Fine. But only because the world shouldn't be subjected to such an ugly facial expression."
Tyson grinned triumphantly and followed Kai inside.
His grin faded as Kai added, "And take off your sunglasses, they make you look egotistical."
Tyson quickly took them off (though he wasn't sure why, normally if someone said something like that he would leave them on out of spite) and glanced around, "Nice place you got here, Princess."
"Kai's fine," growled Kai as he led him through the atrium.
Tyson smiled at him, finding his sensitivity on the subject of his title cute, but then stopped himself when he reminded himself that he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, "Okay Kai."
They walked down a hallway and into what appeared to be a sitting room.
"Right," said Kai, sounding businesslike, "I'd offer you a seat, but I'm sure you'd rather get this all over so you can go home."
Tyson nodded, "Yeah."
"I suppose this is your first time," said Kai, sounding bored.
Tyson hesitated, as if he could be thought less of through this admission, "………yeah."
Kai nodded, "Well basically, I need to be in danger, and then you can come in brandishing your sword- you have a sword don't you?"
"Don't worry, you can borrow one- where was I? Oh yeah….. brandishing your sword, striking a heroic pose, you say something corny, save me, then in my state of complete and utter delirious awe of your amazing heroism, I kiss you to show my gratitude, and then we live happily ever after."
Tyson couldn't help it. He blushed, "You k-kis-"
Kai cut him off, "On the cheek," he said acidly, giving him a warning glare.
Tyson coughed, "Err………..of course."
Kai growled, "Watch it. The last person who got certain ideas and let their hands wander, I had turned into a neko jin."
Tyson smiled meekly, "No funny stuff. Got it. You're frigid. End of story."
Kai glared at him darkly, "Excuse me?"
Tyson smiled innocently, "Nothing! So what can I save you from?"
Kai paused and thought for a while. "I've got it…………" he said finally, walking over to a wall, and picked up a sword that was being displayed there. He gestured, and Tyson went over to him and took it. "Be careful with it," he warned, "It's pretty valuable, and a family heirloom, I think." He handed Tyson a sheath to go with it.
Tyson nodded clipping the sheath to his belt and held the sword firmly.
Kai looked at him slightly surprised, "You hold it correctly."
Tyson smirked at him, "My grandpa's a kendo expert. I've trained since I was a child."
Kai gave him a small, (and what Tyson realized had to be) rare, smile, "I thought a lot of the older traditions of this world had died out," he said as he moved to another door and waited for Tyson to follow him.
Tyson shrugged, "Well I'm here because of tradition, aren't I? I guess I could say my family have gotten a little lazy as we've entered new times (at this he though of how Hilary had been horrified by his driving a car to get here) but we try to keep the traditions alive."
Kai nodded solemnly, "A lot of people have given them up completely. I'm sure you know what happened to the Prince Charming family and their kingdom."
Tyson nodded, "Yeah, they went bankrupt and lost everything. Even their title. Because of gambling problems I heard. I can tell you for sure, he's not so charming now."
"And then there's the Cinderella's, and that shoplifting incident. Instead of losing their shoes, they steal them."
"You think that's bad. You don't even want to know what happened to sleeping beauty."
They stopped outside a door, and Kai put his hand on the handle, "Okay. I'll go in there, shut the door, and call for help. That's when you barge in there and do your thing. Oh, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't break the door down, I know it's more dramatic, but I'd really rather not to have to fix it again."
"Just how many people have rescued you?" asked Tyson.
Kai smiled and patted him on the cheek, "More than you need to know about," and with that he disappeared into the room, shutting the door behind him.
Tyson scowled at the door, somehow disturbed by the fact that he wasn't Kai's first hero.
There was a couple of minutes silence before finally there was a spectacularly unenthusiastic, "Oh help. Save me someone," from behind the door.
Tyson took a deep breath, and, with sword raised in a suitably heroic manner, barged through the door………..and sweatdropped, "Err………."
Kai stopped pretending to be terrified and glared at him, "It was the best I could do on such short notice."
Tyson deadpanned, "It's a spider."
"It's not just a spider," said Kai haughtily, "It's a spider who is threatening a princess and it must be vanquished."
Tyson eyed the spider, sword held limply at his side, "Got any cans of bug spray lying around?"
Kai sighed, "Just step on it, okay."
Tyson bent down and inspected it, "Err………Kai? I think it's already dead."
Kai sweatdropped, "Oh look! It died of fright when it saw you! You're my hero!"
Tyson blinked, "Kai? I really think it was already de-"
"Oh look. It died of fright when it saw you. You're my hero," repeated Kai in a meaningful tone of voice, gritting his teeth.
"But-" Tyson then seemed to catch on, "Oh………..Any time princess. It was my pleasure."
Kai smiled at him. It was false and extremely strained, "I'm so grateful," he stepped forwards over the spider.
Tyson blushed and stepped backwards as he realized Kai's intentions, "Really, it's not necessary-"
"Actually, I'm afraid it is," said Kai sadly as he leaned forward, "It's in 'The Official Rulebook of Fairytales'."
"I hated that book, terrible read." Tyson wasn't too sure why he was getting so flustered, he'd been kissed on the cheek by princess loads of times before, it was part of the job of a prince. 'But Kai's a boy,' his mind supplied, 'It's different. And you like him………..' Tyson roughly squashed the thought and re-focused on his current situation.
Kai's lips gently grazed over his cheek, before he pulled back, looking decidedly flushed.
Tyson noticed and stared accusingly at him, "I thought you said you'd been saved heaps of times! Why are you embarrassed?"
Kai scowled and headed to the door, "I am not embarrassed!" he replied gruffly, though Tyson could plainly see that he had turned an interestingly pretty shade of pink.
"Now hurry up and I'll get you a receipt."
Tyson blinked and followed him, "Receipt?"
Kai sighed as they quickly headed back to the sitting room, "It's just proof that you rescued me. You know, so that you can say to people you did, and have documentation to back it up."
"I just have to get the person who looks after the receipt book," Kai turned away from him, and called, "Trainee apprentice mage, sans master, Mizuhara!"
Tyson blinked, "Trainee apprentice?"
Kai turned back to him and nodded, "You remember the guy with the busy hands I told you about?"
"The one who was turned into a neko-jin?"
"He was meant to be a rabbit."
"Oh………..And he doesn't have a master?"
Kai coughed delicately, "Would you want to be the one known as the person who taught him everything he knows?"
Tyson sweatdropped, "No……..I guess not."
A few minutes later blonde boy with bright cerulean eyes bounded into the room looking excited, "Do you need me to do something?" He looked at Tyson and grinned evilly, "I've been practicing on my rabbit spell!"
He pulled a frog out of his pocket.
It had several pairs of rabbit ears.
"I'm getting there!"
Kai sweatdropped, "Err……..no, Max. I just need the receipt book."
Max looked crestfallen, "Oh………" But his exuberant demeanor returned quickly, "Okay then!"
He searched in his pockets, and Tyson rose an eyebrow at the variety of strange noises that emanated from them as he did so.
Kai appeared to notice, "You wouldn't believe the things he keeps on his person."
Tyson looked at Max nervously as he handed the little book to Kai.
Kai wrote something in it, tore out a page, and handed it to Tyson, "Here you are. And I have to say, that was probably one the best rescues I've ever had. You didn't even say the line."
Tyson blinked, "The line?"
Max grinned and cleared his throat theatrically, "Oh I shall protect your honor my darling maiden! I will save you!" he grabbed Kai's hand and kissed it in mock adoration.
Kai's left eye twitched.
Max stood up smiling cheekily, "And that, is the line."
Tyson wore the expression of someone who wanted to laugh madly and sneer at the same time. And he had the distinct feeling that he didn't want to know what happened to those who said it for real to the currently glowering Kai.
"Well, I'll, err……..just be going now."
Max pouted, looking between Kai and Tyson, "Oh! So soon?"
Tyson nodded, "Yeah, you know how it is, I've got to get home."
Kai nodded and started heading to the front door, expecting Tyson to follow him.
Tyson did, and Max walked beside him.
"So what's your name?"
Max beamed at him, "Tyson, I like that name! And Kai let you rescue him?"
"Well I have a receipt."
Max laughed brightly, "Oh, yeah! Sorry!"
Tyson smiled at him, not being able to help liking the young apprentice.
Max grinned at him, "And he didn't even want me to turn you into anything, or try to kill you. Not many people can say that!" he paused, "Actually, I think you're the only one who can say that! I think he likes you."
Tyson looked at him disbelievingly, "And what makes you think that?"
"Well………..as I said, he didn't have me do something to you, and he didn't hurt you. And he didn't kick you out, he helped you! The last person who managed to rescue him had to tie him up to do it!"
"And I see he let you keep his sword!"
Tyson stared down at the sword he had sheathed awhile ago, but had forgotten to return it. "He probably just forgot to ask for it back."
Max shook his head, "Kai doesn't forget. He's letting you keep it."
Tyson blinked confused.
Max smiled at him, "It would be nice to see Kai happy for once, he's really a gentle soul underneath………"
The two of them looked at Kai stalking down the hallway up ahead.
"…………Rather far down, underneath I have to admit."
Tyson made a face, "Uhuh."
Max grinned, "You know, I think you may even be the one, if only you stayed around for a little while………."
Tyson blinked. "The one?"
Max grinned, "You know, the one!"
Tyson suddenly remembered something Hilary had told him about excitedly, "You don't mean…………"
Max nodded, "His one true love!"
Tyson laughed, "Oh man, you believe in that!"
Max pouted, "You don't?"
Tyson shook his head smiling, "Sorry to disappoint you Maxie, but no."
They reached Kai and the front door before Max could say anything else.
"It was very nice meeting you," said Kai politely.
Tyson and Kai looked at each other for a while, before Tyson finally turned and walked out the door.
He paused, "Bye………."
Kai gave him a small smile, "Bye."
"Bye," said Max, still looking disappointed by what Tyson had said.
Tyson left, and Kai disappeared into the depths of the castle.
Max sighed sadly as the door swung shut and he leaned against it, "And they lived happily ever after…………….."
So what do you think? Do you like it? Love it? Hate it?