Hey ya'll fans of Battle of the Hearts and new readers! This is the sequel to a Ron/Hermione humor/romance I jsut finished writing- Battle of the Hearts! Reading that would be helpful to get a background on this story, but it isn't completely neccessary. All right. A bit of information before you begin. This takes place in the 7th year. Ron and Hermione have been dating for a year (if you read Battle of the Hearts, they got together in the summer between fifth and sixth year!), as have Ginny and Harry. I hope you all really enjoy this chapter, cuz I had a lot of fun writing it! Like usual, read, review, and most importantly,HAVE FUN! Honest opinions are welcome! Readers of Battle of the Hearts, I sincerely hope I didn't disappoint you! Please let me know either way! Now I present to you Chapter One of...the SEQUEL you've all been itching for!

"Well, well, well. It's Weasley and Granger," came the trademark drawl of the only bloke at Hogwarts able to be both unbelievably sexy and a ginormous pain in the buttocks simultaneously. I took in Draco's silky blonde hair, which fell attractively into his steel grey eyes, and his tall, lean, yet muscular build, which included perfect six-pack abs. Yep. I reckoned he still topped the list that Ginny and I had composed earlier in the summer entitled, "The Sexiest Blokes at Hogwarts." We had both grudgingly agreed that no matter how evil and Death Eater-wannabe Draco could be at times, he still edged Harry out for the top spot- but just barely. (Ron, unfortunately, could not even be considered, seeing as the vote had to be unanimous- Ginny had practically turned purple with suppressed laughter when I suggested her dear brother).

"I never thought you two pieces of low-lying scum would stay together for so long," he continued, sneering most ineloquently.

"You really can't do any better than that?" I asked lazily, still relishing the feel of Ron's large, warm, strong hand in mine, even after a year of dating.

"I find your lack of creativity quite amusing," Ginny chimed in, winking at Harry.

"It must be a result of hanging around your mate Voldemort too much. I hear he has little in the way of imagination," I snickered. Ron began to let out a snort but fortunately caught himself in time and covered it up with a suspicious-sounding cough. Over the past year, we had learned the hard way that Draco Malfoy took deep offense to anyone insulting that bastard of a wizard.

A malicious scowl crossed Draco's chiseled features, completely ruining the angelic perfection.

"How dare you utter the name of the Dark Lord from your filthy lips, Mudblood!" he said furiously, reaching into the pockets of his robes.

"Fear of a name only increases fear of the object itself," I smirked, snuggling as close to Ron as the plush seats of the Hogwarts Express would allow. After giving us an extremely dirty look and re-pocketing his wand when he realized that Death Eater or not, he was no match for four excellent duelers, the Slytherin Prefect (how in Merlin he still kept that position I do not know- I personally reckon that Dumbledore was under the influence of the Imperius Curse when he chose the Prefects from each house) stalked off to join his most unintelligent cronies.

"I reckon this will be quite an interesting year," Ginny sighed, playing with Harry's unruly black hair. I leaned back into Ron's chest and turned my head so his lips could gain access to mine more easily. "I reckon it will be," I agreed, as our lips met in a sizzling kiss.

"Bloody," Ron breathed. "Who is SHE?"

"Cassandra Valet," I said airily, taking a delicate sip of pumpkin juice and pointing to the slim witch who was striding confidently to the front of the Great Hall.

"Valet, Cassandra," Professor McGonagall called out as Cassandra, looking rather bored, sat down on the infamous three-legged stool and placed the raggedy Sorting Hat atop her tresses of jet-black, long curly hair that cascaded in shimmering waves over her shoulders. I watched her frosty-blue eyes flicker around the Great Hall with obvious disdain. Just what Hogwarts needed. Another ice princess.

"Gryffindor!" the hat yelled. Dear Merlin. Not only would I have to see that face day in and day out during classes, but the witch-who-had-captivated-the-whole-male-population-of-Hogwarts-in-three-seconds would be sleeping in MY dormitory at night.

"And it only gets better," I muttered under my breath as she took a seat RIGHT beside the Ron amidst wild applause and catcalling- coming from the Slytherins in particular.

Completely ignoring the fact that Professor Dumbledore was asking for silence in the hall so he could make his infamous Opening Speech, Cassandra stuck one perfectly manicured hand out to my redheaded bloke and said breathlessly with a thick French accent, "I'm Cassandra. May I ask as to what your name is?"

"Ronald Weasley," the-wizard-with-the-tips-of-his-ears-burning stammered, already dazzled by her flawless beauty. Never mind that there was a clever, witty witch sitting on the other side of him who just happened to be HIS GIRLFRIEND! However, I really couldn't blame Ron too much. I mean, he was obviously just being polite. As I had heard on the train from Parvati, Cassandra was a transfer student from another magical school in Europe. Beauxbatons, I believe. I had to look at it this way: if I had a sexy bloke from Beauxbatons introducing himself to me, there's no way in heck that I would completely ignore him just because my BOYFRIEND was sitting on the other side. I mean, honestly! I was going to give both the beauty and Ron the benefit of the doubt. At least for the next thirty seconds.

"Harry Potter," Harry grunted when she, I would say a little bit reluctantly, turned to the raven-haired, bespectacled wizard. Ha. At least one person was resisting her innumerable charms. But I was probably giving Harry too much credit. She obviously reminded him too much of Cho for him to give her a second glance.

"Hermione Granger," I said loudly, although she had not asked my name and probably wasn't planning on.

"Pleasure." The smile never left her face, but her eyes told it all. In the minute she had been sitting at our table, the obviously omnipotent witch had figured out Ron and I were dating. As she laid a hand on the dazed Ron's arm, I had a feeling that she had already sunk her claws in my poor, naïve bloke. And what would happen if it would come down to his bushy-haired bossy, boring girlfriend or a new, gorgeous, seductive transfer student? In the 2.4 minutes I had known Cassandra, I already smelled trouble. For Ron's one weakness was gorgeous, sexy, seductive girls. Such as Cassandra. I didn't stand a chance. I mean, look at how he acter around Fleur! Well, she was a veela. But that was besides the point.

"This room is perfectly DARLING!" Cassandra cooed as she entered the Gryffindor Common Room, clinging onto Ron. I had to stuff a wad of bushy, curly hair into my mouth to refrain from making a nasty remark. Unfortunately, it exited my lips anyways. "Hands off my boyfriend, Cassandra," I hissed through a mouthful of tangled hair, just loud enough for her to hear. She, of course completely ignored me, while Ron merely shot me a dirty glance.

"And look, Ronald! A cute little fireplace surrounded by squashy armchairs." She looked deep into his eyes. "You and I are going to spend a lot of time here together," she said huskily, rubbing his forearm and letting out a peal of laughter as he blushed madly.

I simply could not take it any longer.

"I am going to bed now," I announced stiffly, almost breaking into a run as I reached the familiar staircase to the seventh-year girls dormitory. Harry called out a "Night, "Mione," and Ron gave me a quick peck on the lips before returning his attention to the vivacious witch.

"I HATE HER!" I growled to Crookshanks, flopping ungracefully onto my bed. "She is the lowest, most awful creature to ever walk this planet!"

"Amen to that," Parvati said glumly, striding into the bedroom with Lavender hot on her heels. "I'd been saving this hot red miniskirt (she gestured to the tiny scrap of fabric visible through her open designer robes) just for today! And not even one bloke gave me a second glance! Their attention was focused on that...that..."

"Bimbo." I grimly supplied.

"You think you've got it bad," Lavender snapped, unpacking her trunk. "Seamus didn't even acknowledge my presence at the feast!"

"I really hate to top you two," I grumbled, "But the ice princess has her claws in MY RON!"

Lavender and Parvati looked positively infuriated. I'd never fully appreciated until that moment that the two had been my roommates for the past five years- perhaps not always friends (I can stand only so much of their incessant chatter about superficial topics), but they still know me fairly well-especially concerning my deep love for a certain redheaded wizard.

"Girls," Parvati shook her head thoughtfully, "we will have to put aside our differences and do something about "Cass-Ass." I giggled despite myself at her appropriate nickname. "I for one will not endure a whole year of her flawless skin, model-figure, beautiful wavy black hair, crystal eyes, and her ability to seduce all the male wizards in Hogwarts in three seconds. "

"Jealous, ladies?" Cassandra asked breezily, as we all jumped at the sudden sound of her voice.

"Oh yeah, we're jealous. We're really jealous!" I said sarcastically. "We've always yearned to be a brainless bimbo- like YOU!"

Her perfectly white smirk only widened.

"Didn't you girls hear?" she feigned shock. "I was top in my year at Beauxbatons for the past six years!"

"Then why don't you just go back there?" Lavender suggested helpfully through gritted teeth as she loaded her blouses into an empty bureau drawer.

Cassandra waved a hand impatiently.

"Ladies, I was not finished! I was also the star Seeker on my house's team for four straight years!" It's a bloody shame that you never took a rogue Bludger to the head, my dear.

My seldomly seen wicked temper was very quickly beginning to emerge.

"Cleary, Cassandra," I began sweetly, "You forget that you are in the presence of three 16-year old witches who know more spells than your pea-sized brain can comprehend."

"You are all sixteen?" two perfectly shaped eyebrows were raised. "Could've fooled me." Her eyes traveled over my nearly flat chest.

"Listen, Bimbo Barbie," Parvati literally growled, "Hermione is cleverer than you will ever be and could easily hex you into oblivion in mere seconds if she chose to."

"Oh, really? How many OWLs did you receive, bookworm?" Hmmph. That bimbo had another one coming if she thought she could get away with calling ME a bookworm. Perhaps I enjoy reading more than the next witch does, but that surely does not merit a nasty name such as that!

"Twelve, CASSandra."

A snort. "Pity. I got thirteen. That crackpot fool of a headmaster obviously doesn't know how to run this school."

I whipped out my wand. "Never, ever, ever insult Dumbledore in front of me," I said in a deathly whisper. The damn witch pretended that she hadn't heard me and continued.

"So, who's the Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team?" came her muffled voice as she pulled off her blouse to change into nightclothes, revealing a perfectly flat stomach, a tiny waist, and a humongous chest- all of which any of the three of us would've killed for. Especially if it meant murdering the owner of the perfect body with our bare hands.

"That would be Harry. Harry Potter. You met him. Or perhaps you were too busy drooling over Ron to notice?"

"Is he any good?"

Parvati, Lavender, and I immediately shrieked in laughter. "Harry is the most brilliant Seeker Hogwarts has seen for years. He's never lost a game," Parvati stretched the truth a bit.

"Well, I'm sure I can beat him," the Ice Princess said arrogantly, slipping on a deep red, silky nightgown.

My nostrils flared. "To the contrary, I'm sure you can't," I said coolly.

"We'll just see about that," she smirked confidently. Then her expression changed to one of pure adoration. "Oh, that Ronald Weasley! He's a complete doll! What do you know about him?"

We all stared at her. "He just happens to have been my best mate for the past seven years. And my boyfriend since the summer before our sixth year. I know him very intimately."

Her eyes widened. "Intimately?" she said incredulously.

"Do I need to define the word for you?" I sniggered.

"I find it hard to believe that he would shag the likes of you."

"We didn't shag," I snarled through gritted teeth. "Although your one-sided mind may not be able to comprehend this, it is possible to share a deep, intimate friendship with a wizard without taking your clothes off."

She giggled. Obviously, absistence was not something she practiced.

"Well, I'll have you know right now that I rather fancy the cute bloke."

"Well, I'll have you know right now that Hermione has fancied the bloke for the past five years and is currently dating him," Parvati retorted.

"She has? Well, obviously he is getting rather bored with her, for he was sure as hell making eyes at me during the feast! In fact, I could've sworn I felt him squeeze my thigh."

I choked back a snort. Ron was many things, but bold, seductive, and "handsy" were not included in the list.

"Obviously you are wrong."

"Obviously I am right. And, Hermione" she looked at me straight in the eye- "I have no intention of moving my interests elsewhere just because my roommate has a silly, meaningless relationship with the bloke I like. May the best witch win- and of course, we all know who that is!" With a final look of utter contempt, she disappeared behind her bed hangings for the night.

"Emergency meeting on my bed. Now!" Lavender whispered as we all sprinted over to the other side of the room, leaped onto her bed, sealing the bed hangings shut and casting a Silencing Charm.

There was complete and total silence.

"That girl is a MONSTER!" I finally screamed through tears of anger and frustration.

Parvati patted me on the back sympathetically. "We know she is, Hermione. However, you aren't alone in this war. We are a team now- united together to fight for the same cause."

"But what are we going to do?" I wailed despondently. Then, suddenly inspiration hit me as I remembered the only bloke in Hogwarts who was immune to her innumerable charms.


Two hours later, when we were sure that the whole house was fast asleep, I found myself sneaking in the 6th year boy's dormitory, Parvati's instructions echoing in my ears. "Wake him up, and tell him to meet us in the Common Room with that Invisibility Cloak of his." Godric knows how she is aware of that particular valuable possession of Harry's...

"Harry! Pssst, Harry!" I whispered.

"Hermione?" he whispered groggily.

"Get your Invisibility Cloak and follow me NOW!" I instructed harshly, leaving no room for argument. Sensing the urgency in my voice, he quickly crawled out of bed, and made a quick detour on his way to the door to retrieve the cloak from the secret compartment in the bottom of his trunk.

"What's wrong?" he asked, bewildered, as Parvati and Lavender came into view, both sitting stiffly on armchairs near the leftover glowing embers from the night's once-roaring fire.

"Plenty," I said crossly, my two roommates' delighted expressions at seeing Harry without a shirt on (those sexy abs of his...OOOWOOW!) failing to amuse me. "You better make yourself comfortable, Harry. And if anyone comes down, throw the cloak over yourself."

"Let me get this straight- you believe this witch is a spawn of Satan?"

"Yes," I said earnestly, my eyes desperately begging him to believe me. "You saw her Harry- pouncing on Ron and wooing the whole male population of Hogwarts! And then, as we just finished telling you, insulting everything from Dumbledore to your Quidditch skills back in the dormitory!"

"She is a very attractive girl," Harry admitted fairly, slouching in his chair.

"That is beside the point!" I hissed. Eyes beginning to fill with tears, I said in a very small voice, "Harry- she's a menace to Hogwarts! She's trying to steal Ron from me!"

"All right, all right," Harry said exasperatedly, propping his head up with his hands. "From what I've seen, she doesn't seem to have a very endearing personality."

"Your best mate thinks so," I sniffed.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Ron is daft," he sighed. "But then again, so am I. And let me tell you, if I had a sexy witch like Cassandra (my cough sounded suspiciously like "Cho!") throwing herself at me, I would have difficulty resisting her charm."

"But Ron," I pointed out, "Is my boyfriend. I do think he would have the sense not to eye up other girls when I am around!"

"Your eyes never land on any other blokes?"

Hmmph. He had me there. "But I don't fratrenize with them for large amounts of time!"

"Give Ron a break, Hermione. She's a new student. He's just being friendly. Ron loves you, 'Mione. He is just in awe of Cassandra. It'll pass in a few days."

Riiiiiggghtt. I asked a question that had been bothering me since the speech.

"If all the blokes at Hogwarts are falling ove themselve for her, then why aren't you affected by her?"

His brow furrowed. "I dunno. I reckon something just doesn't seem right about her- it's probably nothing serious. Just a feeling I have."

"Well, thanks anyways," I muttered unhappily as I rose to my feet, Parvati and Lavender following suit. "We'll be heading back to bed now."

"Good night," he said quietly, staring at the floor.

"Well, he did help a little," Lavender said optimistically.

"But I'm afraid it's not enough," I finished dismally.

"The world will look a lot better after a good night's rest," Parvati said firmly, taking me by the arm and quietly opening the door to our dormitory As she did, I caught a flash of red hair. What was Ron doing in our dormitory at 1:00 at night? My question was answered immediately as we caught sight of Cass-Ass and the object of my affections, standing in VERY close proximity to each other. In fact, it looked like they were about to begin snogging! GRRR. That bimbo had another coming if she thought she could just simply waltz into Hogwarts and steal MY BOYFRIEND!

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