OO. I really do wonder why people bother to read my sad excuse for a fic. I really do. Wow. You guys want an update that bad? LOL! It was barely a cliffhanger! I'm surprised. Well...I guess that I could update now...even though I should really be studying for the final exams.

Did anyone else find KH2 boring as hell? I know I did! The game freakin sucks!

Okay, so here's the next chapter. You guys rock XD.

Chapter 7 (it IS 7, right!): Unfortunate Miscalculation.

Leon stared hard into the eyes of the blonde before him, anxiously awaiting an answer. "Well, Strife? Are you gay or not?"

Cloud froze, his expression comparable to either a dead fish or a deer frozen in headlights. "I...you...wait, I..."


My, wasn't this amusing? Cloud's eyes darted from left to right, searching for the quickest escape possible. The last thing he needed was another Sephiroth. He swallowed nervously and backed away, his hand groping for a weapon to strike with, if it was necessary.

Leon, however was growing impatient. "Answer me. Are you gay? Yes or no?"

"What makes you think that I am?" Cloud retorted, his fingers curling around a lamp.

Leon snorted. "What do you think? You walk like a woman, you sound like a woman, you smell like a woman, you act like a woman, sometimes you look like a woman-"

"Wait, WHAT?"

"Sephiroth and Riku are always touching you, you wear overly tight pants, you take better care of your hair than any woman at the job, you purr in your sleep, you cry when Cid makes fun of you-"

"That was only ONCE!"

"You scream like a little girl, you have the temper of a pregnant woman, you wear lip gloss and eyeliner, you bruise easily-"


"You're loud, your hyperactive, you need to stop shaking your ass when you walk, you're wearing perfume from Victoria's Secret-"

Cloud blushed. "OKAY, STOP! I'm not gay, alright? I don't know why the hell you have a list of reasons why I would/should be, or why you watch my ass move when I walk, or why you've probably been stalking me, but I'm not gay! In fact, if anyone here is gay, it's you, Leon."

Leon narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me?"

Cloud nodded. "That's right! What the hell type of straight person watches the way another man walks, or notices the smell of the perfume they wear, or stares at their lips to know what type of makeup they wear, or follows said other man around town?"

In a whirl of anger, Leon stood up and pinned the blonde to a wall. Terrified, Cloud swung the lamp and nailed Leon in the shoulder. Leon, having yet to notice the attack, thrust his knees between Cloud's legs and harshly grabbed his shoulders.

"What makes you think that I give a hell about what you do? I'm a man of the company, meaning that everything I do is for the company. If you think that I have time to follow an utter dumbass like you around, then you're wrong. I felt bad for you because Sora has been giving you somewhat of a hard time, and I thought that I could help you, considering that you are new and having a hard time. Forgive me for being curious," he spat. "People like you cause distractions for other people, mainly me. Especially since your very being is a nuisance." He harshly squeezed Cloud's shoulder, emphasizing his point.

And was rewarded with a lamp nearly implanted in his head. Immediately, he released his hold on the other man, his hand flying to stop the pain rushing to his head.

Cloud panted heavily, his eyes overflowing with angry tears. "I hate you!" he screamed. "And you know WHAT! Stupid gays like YOU make life hell for ME! I'm sorry that I can't control my ability to be a nuisance, and the way I distract people! I'm sorry for the way I distract you! You stupid GAY idiot!"

Leon glared at him from his position on the floor. "I'm the gay one here? Look at you! You look like a hurt woman!"

"I AM a hurt woman!" Cloud screamed. "I FEEL like a hurt woman! I hate you, Squall Leonheart. I hate you, asshole! I hate you!"

Cloud raced back into the bedroom, snatched his shoes from the closet, pulled them on and raced out the door, stopping only to give Leon a quick kick in the balls.

"And you don't even HAVE to fire me, because I quit!"

Ain't life grand?

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Leon had expected a quiet day at work the next morning. He had expected no interruptions, no noise, no feet rushing around the office in a hurry. He had almost expected praise.

He hadn't expected a crowd of idiots to come rushing into his office, feminine shrieks in his ears, and whines of protest from a certain overly exuberant female.

Yes, I do mean Yuffie.

"SQUALL LEONHEART!" she screamed. "What the hell did you do?"

Leon gritted his teeth. "Whatever do you mean, Yuffie?"

"Cut the bullshit!" she hissed. "Cloud isn't here today, and I saw you carrying him into your car last night! I want to know where the hell he is, right now!"

Sephiroth cut in. "Listen you pompous, paradoxical, unreflective, half-witted, twit. You will tell me where Cloud is and you will tell me NOW. If you don't, so help me God, I will slash you into pieces and feed your remains to my house flies!"

"Shut up, Sephybitch!" Riku hissed. "Look, Leon. We all saw Cloud get in your car last night, (don't ask how) I know that he's still with you! You probably raped him, killed him, and stuffed him in the closet!"

Aerith cut in. "People, please! We are all worried about Mr. Strife. But attacking Leon isn't going to help anyone!"

"IT's helping me!" screamed Yuffie.

Cid cut in. "Look, people! Why don't you all just shut the fuck up and give Leon some space to tell us what happened?"

Leon glared at them. "I don't have to tell you people anything."

Aerith glared at him. "Leon..."

"Look, fucker! Tell me why Cloud isn't warming that seat with his ass, and you tell me NOW."

Aerith sighed. "Leon..."

"You will regret this, Leonheart..."


"Squall, get over yourself! Don't you make me march to his apartment and ask him!"

"For the last time, nothing happened! Stop asking me that!"

And finally, folks! Aerith snapped. Grabbing Leon harshly by his collar she hissed "LISTEN, you STUPID little FUCK!" (Ohh...fiesty!) "Either you bring that little behind back in that chair RIGHT THIS SECOND, or I make you wish that you have never set foot in your stupid little office, dickshit."

Yea, Aerith when she's mad, people.

Leon sighed (Aerith...needs help..) "Cloud Strife is gone. And..." he stared at the secretary's desk longingly. "And...he's not coming back.

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Sora smirked evilly, rubbing his hands together in devilish glee. Yes! Riku was going to be his again! Finally! No more interruptions from that idiot bimbo Cloud!

Nearly drooling in anticipation, he picked up the phone and rapidly pressed the numbers. "Hello, sir?"

Sora smiled wickedly as the voice cried out in surprise.

"It worked. He's gone..."

The deep voice laughed. "I'm on my way..."

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Cloud wondered aimlessly down the dangerous slums of Traverse Town, too angry to head back home. His eyes scanned his surroundings, taking in every refreshing site.

Suddenly, a car rolled up behind him. A tall tanned man stepped out, offering his hand to Cloud. Cloud stared at the man before asking "Do I know you?"

"Mr. Strife," the man began. "My name is Ansem. And I have been waiting for you."

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Okay, yes. Short chapter, I know. Cliffhanger, I know. But...! It's not as bad as the last chapter, yes?

(Dodges Bullets)