The Skittles of Stigmata

The Skittles of Stigmata

By Gabs the Skittles Idiot

Disclaimer: The people from Stigmata (Frankie Paige, Andrew Kiernan, Donna and Father Durning) don't belong to me. I do believe they belong to MGM, but I could be wrong. It's been known to happen on occasion. I don't own the Skittles name either, but I do own lots of Skittles bags, and I fully intend to get more. This is something of a sequel to Demon's story, Aliens and Skittles? Enjoy the story!

Frankie dropped herself onto Donna's couch. Her friend had gone to talk to a neighbor or something like that. Frankie had decided that it was time to go back to her house. She had been staying with Donna for over a week now, and that was long enough. At the moment, she was randomly flipping through channels on the TV. She paused for a moment when she came to Xena, but resumed her aimless channel wandering a moment later. After what seemed like forever, Donna came back. She immediately caught sight of Frankie's packed bag. "Woah, wait a minute! Where do you think you're going?" Donna demanded, hands on hips.

"It's time for me to get back to my apartment. I've been hiding here for a week, ever since Andrew left." Frankie stood up and turned off the TV. "Don't you think you need a little more time to get over… well, everything that happened? I mean, you went through a lot," Donna pointed out. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." Frankie smiled in an attempt to reassure her friend. "All right man, if you say so," Donna sighed. "See you at work tomorrow," Frankie called over her shoulder. "Right," Donna replied.

After getting a look at the traffic, Frankie decided to walk. "It's not that far," she said to herself. 15 minutes later, she was unlocking the door of her apartment and tossing her bag to the side. She had barely taken two steps when she stopped. A small, red, circular object had just bounced off her forehead. Frankie leaned over and picked it up. "A Skittle?" She looked around cautiously. "What the fuck is going on now?" She screamed. A moment later, a purple Skittle bounced off her ear, followed by an orange. Frankie picked those up as well and moved in the direction they were coming from. Two more, a yellow and a green, were launched at her, and she managed to dodge them.

Looking around, she noticed that there were Skittles everywhere. Picking up the phone resulted in a rainbow of Skittles pouring out. Five more suddenly shot out from a different direction. They had come from under her bed. She yanked up the covers and looked. Frankie immediately jumped back as she saw the source of her Skittles problem. An odd looking creature jumped out and began to spin in happy circles. The faster it spun, the more Skittles came down. Frankie felt a heavy object hit her back and turned to see what it was- a one pound bag of Wild Berry Skittles. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the strange creature. "Stop it!" she yelled. The being immediately ceased it's spinning, and Frankie almost burst into laughter at it's strange pose. It was balanced tediously on it's right toes, it's left leg was crossed over in front of it's body, it's hands were clasped over its head, and there was an idiotically happy smile on it's face. If you could call that a smile, anyway.

"Who are you?" Frankie demanded. "I AM…" it stopped for a moment to think about the answer. "…THE SKITTLES MONSTER!" Frankie looked at it doubtfully. "The Skittles monster?" The creature nodded so fast that it fell over into a pile of Skittles. It grinned again and quickly ate a handful, in a certain color order, before turning back to Frankie. "Yuppers!" It replied. "What, exactly, is a Skittles monster?" She asked. "Well, you know…" She continued to stare. Giving a dramatically exaggerated sigh, the being stood up. "I'm like… I dunno… the Closet Monster!" Frankie scratched her head and continued to stare. "The Loch Ness Monster then!" She folded her arms. "The Cookie Monster?" It sounded more like a suggestion than an answer. "Ok, so you're like the Cookie Monster?" Frankie clarified. "Yeah, only different." Frankie rubbed her head. It was all giving her a headache.

Taking in the "Skittles monster" and the mess it had made, she sighed again. "Compared to you, having stigmata was a walk in the park. At least I got a hot priest along with it," she muttered. The "monster" looked at her strangely and shrugged. "Ok then." A moment later, a priest was standing next to Frankie. She recognized him as Father Durning. "Why is it so hot in here?" he asked. Frankie glared at the Skittles monster. "That is not what I meant!" The being looked unhappy for a moment, then shrugged again. Father Durning disappeared. "You said a hot priest! I only intended to make this more enjoyable for you!" It protested. "Enjoyable?? This is not enjoyable! I can't take a step without squishing a hundred Skittles!" The monster looked shocked. "You're being cruel to my generous gift??" A surprised Frankie noted that it sounded like it was going to cry. "Look, I'm sorry, I do like Skittles. But just not so many that I'm up to my ankles- even knees in some places!- and can't move around." The being nodded, suddenly looking almost intelligent.

"Now, can I ask you a question?" Frankie continued. "You just did," the "monster" pointed out, seeming confused. "I'm asking another: do you always go around throwing Skittles at people?" The being laughed, a strange sound that hurt Frankie's ears. "No, no no no. I usually throw Tootsie Rolls!" With that, the Skittles rainbow appeared, the "Skittles Monster" disappeared, and Frankie was left with more Skittles than she ever wanted.

Send any questions, comments, and whatever else you may have to Gabs at: and thanks for reading!