Title: Why

Summary: Why did you move on? Why is everything like it is? Olivia's thoughts. One-Shot

Disclaimer: I don't own SVU's characters, Dick Wolf does, just borrowing them, I'll return them at the end of this story! Promise!

A/N: I've got to thank garrettelliot for this idea!


Why? What happened? What went wrong? Why are you like this? We used to play in the garden, chase each other around. I would go to your place every afternoon, play with Barbie dolls and have tea parties with Mr Teddy and Katie-Cat. You would ask about my house, always longed to come over, to visit and play with my dolls. I would always say no, you couldn't. I wasn't allowed. Is that why you dislike me? Because I never told you the truth? The truth was something that I was ashamed of. You have to believe me. My mother treated me like I was unwanted. I didn't want you to see this; you always had this perfect family. You knew who your parents were, they love you, spoilt you with expensive toys, pretty dresses. Everything that I wanted, I envied you. Did you notice? I was the poor kid, with no father, a mother that never really truly loved me.

I would see you every now and then, before you took the kids and left my partner. Kind of like how you left me. Sometimes when you would call Elliot, I stop and think, think about the times we had together. How much fun they were, how I missed you so much after you left. I would always sit by the letterbox, waiting for a letter from you or a phone to ring and when I didn't get it, I would cry every night. Every night after my mother passed out, for years, I just cried till there were no more tears to cry. Why didn't you ever try and keep in contact? I tried. I wrote letters, piles of them, all waiting for an address to post them to.

What was it like at your new house? Was it big like your old one? What school did you go to? Did you fit in? Make new friends? What were they like? I always dreamt about you, and your new friends. How we could play together, have the time of our lives, ride our bikes around, playing tag and teasing boys, and then you would play with my friends. I know you would have loved them. But that never happened. I ran around my neighbourhood, riding my bike, gossiping with my friends. I never saw you again, not until I meet Elliot.

Do you think it was a miracle? That we were to meet again, so many years later. You had a family, four beautiful kids. Once again, I envied you. Wished that maybe it could be me in your position. Me with those kids, a family, someone that loved me. I shiver at this every thought. I barely know you now. I only hear things off Elliot, how much of a wonderful wife, mother you are.

I sit here, at the window, staring out at the starry night, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you would think of me and wonder why we aren't friends anymore. Once best friends and now, we can't even see eye to eye. Every time you see me, you act distant, as if you're scared that someone would know that we were once friends. Your eyes scan through me. I can feel it. You look down on me, your eyes fill with pity. We were only five, when you left. Your parents moved house, it was beyond our control, but if you didn't move, maybe we would still be friends.


So please REVIEW! I really want to know what people think, and if it made any sense!