PRE FIC RANTINGS AND A SPRINKLE OF DISCLAIMER:This takes place during episode 44, right after Al leaves with Hohenheim. Because I'm sure Roy appreciates all that Elric angst he's forced to deal with on a daily basis. I wrote this for my good friend Demidevi-san who requested Roy/Ed from me. ;; This is atypical Roy/Ed as FMA slash goes, but in the end I'm sorta, kinda fond of it.
Fullmetal Alchemist so totally belongs to someone, and that someone is not me.


"That was a little harsh Fullmetal."

Ed narrowed his eyes and snorted, "What the hell would you know?"

"I know," Roy began firmly, "That he is your father."

"He abandoned me and Al!" Ed replied quickly, eyes flashing with an almost defensive agression, "You know that too!"

"I also know," Roy continued calmly, leaning against the deck's railing as he spoke, "that he has returned for a reason. I believe that he wishes to make amends with you, Fullmetal. He's come a long way- the least you can do is show him a little respect."

"Screw you."

Roy's eyes widened and he turned the words over in his head a few times. Edward was hardly ever polite and Roy was more than used to the boy's rampart insubordination (so used to it, in fact, that he would probably have had a heart attack if Ed ever bothered to throw him a scrap of reverence), but the insult was still unexpected, not to mention uncalled for, "Excuse me?" he gritted his teeth and valiantly managed to keep his temper under control.

"Would it kill you not to treat me like a child for once?" Ed snapped, closing the distance between them in three angry steps.

"I do not treat you like a child, Edward." Roy muttered lowly, his words clipped and cold, "You're overreating. I was simply-"

"There you go again!" Ed exclaimed, jabbing an accusatory finger in Roy's chest, "You know that pulling rank doesn't work on me, so everytime I do something to piss you off you try to play the 'age and experience' card on me! It's a load of shit! You know what Mustang? I hate my father. I hate him. The last thing I need is for you to come along and try to fill in his role. You're not my father and neither is he, so stop trying so damn hard!"

Roy was silent for a long moment, caught in Edward's fierce gaze like a criminal in the spotlight. Finally, he exhaled deeply almost expecting the witty reply to write itself. It didn't- Roy Mustang was, for once, at a loss for words.

"I just don't get it." Ed continued, encouraged by Roy's lack of response, "You're the one who was so damned determined to get me into the military anyways. You made sure I got on that train. You made sure that I took that damn test. You made sure that I was given the same kind of assignments as all the other state alchemists. Sometimes I like to delude myself into believing that maybe you think of me as an equal, but then you go and pull shit like what you pulled in Liore and I realize the truth." there was a pause and Edward backed off a bit, resting his weight on his heels, "You don't think that I can take care of myself."

Roy finally found his voice again. When he spoke it was a little shakier than he expected, "You're making a very broad assumption, Fullmetal. You're one of the most brilliant alchemists in the army. I do not doubt your ability to get yourself out of any situation I get you into. However-"

"There's always 'however'." Ed retorted bitterly, rolling his eyes, "However what? You don't think I'm capable of making competent decisions in a dangerous situation. Isn't that it?"

"Well, Fullmetal, you can be brash at times."

"Even I can admit that, but I know the difference between being in a mess and being in a life and death situation. You're the one making broad assumptions, Colonel. You don't even know..." Ed trailed off and made a fustrated noise in the back of his throat, "You don't even realize half of the things that have happened since those stupid homunculus first showed up. I doubt you'd even believe it if I told you. You'd just smile at me condescendingly and tell me to let the adults take care of it because you think I'm still just a kid!"

Roy pressed his eyes shut and sighed. He could not believe that he was having this conversation- attempting to defend Edward's maturity while the boy ranted and raved like a three year old having a temper tantrum was counter productive and unrewarding, "Perhaps, Fullmetal, if you told me things once in a while-"

"When I tell you things, you tell me to sit at home and wait like a good little boy!" Ed scoffed, "Admit it, Colonel, you think I'm a helpless child!"

"That's not true, Fullmetal. I-"

The boy took another step closer, "Don't fucking lie to me Mustang! There's no way you'd ever think of me as an equal!"

Another step, and now Edward was almost too close, "Fullmetal, why do you insist on-" and then he was being kissed. Badly, because it was obvious that Edward hadn't exactly done this before but the boy dove into it like he dove into everything- headfirst and full of firery, directionless passion. Roy was dragged down nearly a foot by the lapels of his jacket and found himself making a completely undignified noise as he tried desperately to pull away. Unfortunately, Edward had all the hard, brute strength of someone who is forced to fight for a living. The fact that his arm was made out of steel didn't do much to help the situation.

Roy's vision flickered frantically to the Rockbell's porch door, which was still swinging open in the evening breeze and spilling orange light out into the night. Thankfully, the room inside was empty. The only thing worse than being thoroughly and passionately kissed by a male subordinate who happened to be half his age was the possibility of said subordinate's surrogate family catching him in such a position. Roy doubted that Pinako and Winry would be very understanding of the situation. Roy doubted that he was even understanding of the situation. If Edward was trying to prove some sort of point, he was certainly at a loss for what it was.

Roy placed his hands on Ed's wiry shoulders and attempted once again to pry the boy off of him. After a few breathless seconds, Edward finally pulled away in a slow, hesitant way that made Roy wonder at the boy's ulterior motives.

He took a few deep breaths and waited for his pulse to slow before meeting Ed's eyes. "Edward-" he murmered, "No."

Ed's eyes darkened, "Why not?" he demanded, tightening his grip on Roy's jacket and pulling the Colonel closer.

"Just... no, Edward."

"Why not?" Ed demaded again, a low growl working it's way into his voice.

"Because it's not proper."


"Because you... you're-" Roy's words caught in his throat as he realized what the boy was trying to get at. It was like a fresh scab- Edward kept picking at it and picking at it. He wouldn't be satisfied until he drew blood.

"Because I'm what?"

"Edward..." Roy placed a hand on Ed's fist and the words fell from his lips, a defeat, "You're just a child."

"Hmph." is all Edward said before letting go. He went into the house and slammed the door behind him.