Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing...cries

You Never Really Cared

The Beginning: Chapter One

It was just another cold, rainy night in the safehouse, or, at least it felt that way. I hadn't opened the door to see and there were only a few windows throughout the place in choice spots. We can't risk being seen; A surprise attack might mean the end of us. There was nothing to do now, either. Except maybe homework from my old school, but do you think I'd actually DO it? It's not like I can turn it in at this school. We never stay in one school long enough for anyone to care anyways. And here I am, lazing about on the couch. There's nothing on T.V., the few books around here bore me, there's no games, and no one to talk to. Bored Duo unhappy Duo; everyone knows that. But what can I say? Wufei is up in his room doing his meditation-whatevers and Quatre and Trowa are upstaris doing...I don't even want to know. What does Quat see in Mr.Silent anways? And Heero, he's always on that damn laptop when he has "free time." I can only guess what he's doing-looking up stuff for the next mission. Geez, doesn't that guy ever get enough of the fighting? Of the killing? I know I've had more than enough, but I have to keep going. They need me. Well...Heero doesn't need me. He doesn't need anyone, and he's made that clear. To my face. Several times.

To hell with what he says. I bounced over to him in my usual overly-happy-on-a-sugar-rush way. "Heeeee-chan! Whatcha doi-"

"Shut up, baka." Typical Heero response to me.

"C'mooon Heero! Don't you want to DO something?"

"I am doing something." He shrugs.

"But what about something FUN?" I was still bouncing around. I can't help it.

He looked up at me strangly. "...fun? I don't have time for...fun. I need to know the details of the mission." He sounded as if he had never heard of fun before in his life. And actually, i wouldn't doubt it.

I sighed and slowly walked back to the couch, plopping onto it. Why does he always do that to me..? Tap tap. Click. Tap tap tap tap. Click click. After a moment of listening to him type constantly, I gave myself something to do. When he typed I would tap my fingers on the glass vase on my right and when he clicked on the mouse I would tap my boot on the hard wood floor. It was quite fun. It made for some interesting music and when Heero caught onto my game he would change rapidly and do everything much quicker just to see if I could keep up. And I did, for a while. My foot got tired and I gave up. I wonder if he was even typing any real words? When i had stopped and turned my head to look at him, I could have sworn I saw a small smile on his face. But when I blinked, it was gone. Were you smiling at me? Heero Yuy? Smile? Nah..

I must have fallen asleep after a while, because I was awoken by being kicked to the floor. In about 2.5 seconds, my gun was out and pointing at the offender of my sleep. Unfortunately, he was already pointing a gun at me. Can you guess who? Heero, of course.

I lowered my gun and sighed. "Thanks for being so gentle."

"Hn." He lowered his gun. "Dinner is ready." I guess he kicked me because he couldn't risk touching me with his hands. He has very nice hands, though...all rough and everything, but imagine the things they could do-

"Maxwell! Are you going to eat or stand there and drool while you watch us?" Wufei was scowling as usual. I don't think his meditation really helps him any. But I'd never tell him that.

WasI drooling, though? I wiped my chin and sure enough, my sleeve was wet with it. I grined and sat down. "Whatcha make today, guys?" Of course,I asked this while piling everything onto my plate.

Quatre smiled. "Heero made dinner tonight."

I stopped amid shoveling food into my mouth and asked, "Re-ry?" Heero simply nodded. I swallowed the food and grined again. "I'm honored. And this is good! You should cook every night Hee-chan!"

"Hn."

"It's not really fair to make him do it all the time," Quatre added shyly. "I mean, would you like to clean the toliet every week, Duo?"

I made a face. "No way!"After that, it got quiet. We all just ate silently, which was unusual, mostly because I was always running my big mouth. I was extra troubled today, though. All I could do was stare at him. He ate silently with perfect posture and perfect manners. Is the perfect soldier perfect at everything?

"Aren't you going to eat, Duo? What's wrong?"

"Ahhh..." I just noticed that everyone had finished except me. "Actually, Quat, I don't really want to. I think Hee-chan put too much of somethin' in it." I grinned.

Wufei glared at my food, then at me. "It tasted fine to me, Maxwell."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "I don't like everything you like Wu-man."

"Don't call me that."

"Fiiiiine." And with thatI grinned, excused myself, and headed up to my room, which, wasn't just my room. Trowa and Quatre shared, Wufei insisted on his own room and I was always with Heero. I scretly think he gets more tired of me every day. Which isn't really a secret. He usually just says it to my face. Doesn't he have any feelings?

With yet another sigh I plopped onto my bed, fully dressed, and just fell asleep.

I awoke not much later when Heero entered our room. I yawned and slowly sat up. "Woah...I'm still dressed."

"Baka."

"Yeah, yeah.." I took off my boots and my socks, then my shirt and pants."Nite, Hee-chan!"

"Hn.."

Then I fell back onto my bed and tried to fall asleep again. I couldn't. Heero always did that to me. He makes me think more than I'd like to. "Hee-chan?"

"Shut up. Go to sleep."

"But I can't sleep!"

"Try harder."

I sighed. "Man, aren't you good for anything?" I muttered.

"Hn."

Eventually,I did fall asleep. It took way longer than I wanted it to, and it may have been better if I haven't have to gone to sleep at all.

The Maxwell church towered over me...and I was walking closer.

"Duo! Duo!"

Who's calling me?

"There you are Duo!"

Sister Hellen?

"It's time to eat, where have you been? No, Niobi, don't touch that!" I saw her run back into the church. And I stopped. A familiar sound could be heard. In the next second, the Maxwell church burst into flames and I could hear her scream...butI couldn't move. "Sister Hellen! Father Maxwell! Where are you!" I ran towards what was left of the buring church, but the screams were no more. I ran into the fire; no pain could be felt. I dug through the ash and broken boards looking for someone, anyone.

At last I found a hand...a broken, bloody, lifeless hand, but I continued to uncover the person. I pulled the remnants of a chair off her head...and it was Sister Hellen. I heard another scream-was it me? Her entire body was soaked in blood. Her legs were bending the wrong ways. And her arms just lay there, lifeless. Her face was pale, and still as stone. I held onto her tightly and let tears stream down my face.

"Du...Duo..." I jumped. She's alive! I can save her! "B-Boys...don't cry...r-remember..?

I nodded over and over, and wiped my eyes...with blood stained arms. I was soaked in Sister Hellen's blood. "S-Sister Hellen...?" I shook her. She didn't move. I touched her face...she did not blink. She was dead. I screamed.

I screamed and jumped out of bed, but my legs would not hold me. I fell right to the floor. Within seconds, Heero was at my side, trying to drag me to my feet. Why no sympathy? Well, this has happened many times before, and I guess they're used to it. Everyone else had gathered in my room by now.

"Why won't you tell us what your nightmares are, Duo? Maybe we could help you..."

I shook my head. "I don't think so, Quat." Quatre frowned. Before, I only used to get these nightmares of my past every now and then...but lately, it happened every night. I have no control. Does it have anything to do with Heero?

I climbed back into bed to show them that I was just fine, and I gave them my trade-mark grin. "Nite guys!" They mumbled their good nights and left. Heero stood where he was for a moment, then flicked off the light and went back to his bed. I snuggled into the blanket...and realized that I was shaking like crazy. I could remember the destruction of the Maxwell church like it was yesterday...but the tears would not come...because boys don't cry.

I'm not sure if I should keep this in first person or switch to third. let me know what you think!