Trecebo, I fixed it. If there's anything else, bug me about it. I don't own this corrected piece.
Dark Hallway of Revelations
I am lost and regretting my impatience. The hallway I found is dark and dusty. Light is practically non-existent, as torches are just as rare. Half way down to the darkest part, I wander to grab one from the wall. I am to short. Still, I try to jump, then to find a step or something. While I am preoccupied with that, the rugs and slippers allow someone to sneak up on me.
"May I help?" From my stool, I startle and fall. My ego is a little bruised, but I push up off the ground, grateful for the help. Moving to get a better glimpse gets me nowhere. This man does not want to be seen. I stay in the light then. "I need that torch off the wall if you can." He laughs. "Why can't you take those lit ones?" Flashbacks from the village colony appear. How dare he question me? "How dare--? Never mind. I cannot grab burning metal."
Some people are stupid. "Yes, Yes, Lady Fa." His back is to me. I can't see anything aside from Chinese peasant garb with a strange accent on the Mongolian wording. I grab the torch from him, light it, and realize that I just let another possible Prisoner of War get away as I think I hear rescinding footsteps. Out of mindless irritance, I grab the hot metal. I take a moment to pound my head against the stonewall when I drop the torch and let it burn out. I turn my back to it, and slide down to a sitting squat.
"A Lady should not pound her pretty skull against stone." That voice and male is back, still in shadow. While I am sitting in the dark though, it's a little more even. A piece stray hair has to be moved. "A gentleman should not leave a lady in abandon." He sits down next to me. It seems, though, that even in low torch light, he is pretty. His eyes also remind me of Father's, maybe 20 years younger.
"I knew your father." What? "I really did. Do you remember the village celebration, 13 years ago, of a victorious battle?" I nod, suddenly tired and awake at the same time. "Fa Cheng-Chen was announced dead with honors a few weeks later." His eyes glow turned down to the floor. I detect pride from my comment. "He is tired now. He partially wishes that he would have died." It's too silent in the hall to speak louder than a whisper. "I know how he feels." Or maybe it's just me.
He smiles sadly and reaches for my hand. I let him take it, wary of his intentions. I doubt he has dishonorable intentions as he gazes past the stool and me. He stands with a grace I dream all while offering me his hand. Hypnotized, I take it, and he tells me to ask Taoxing for her son. She'll know what he means, supposedly, much as I have supposedly met her.
Nothing needs to be said when a pair of gleaming eyes appear in the end of the hallway and this man begins a direct path to those eyes. The man meets him,and likehe taken mine, he takes the figure's, and kisses it. The stranger is a great deal taller than he is from my distant perception.
review any problems please!
This is a correction by Saturnsdarkness