Author Notes: I'm really sorry if Amelda seems out of character to you, he may, or he

may not, he's a very difficult character to write about because he's very mysterious, quiet,

etc. He has many sides, so if you don't see him as thinking/ acting this way just use your

imagination here.

Please enjoy! Review kindly!

When was the last time I was able to smile? Seems like it was an eternity

ago. I admit Ihave not felt happiness or joy for many years now. It's made me feel bitter

cold, no, dead inside. I can't stress enough how much hatred I have inside of me

because of what happened those number of years ago. He ruined my life, . . . HE was

responsible but refuses to be. I realize that Seto Kaiba himself is not the one who did

this, but as they say, an eye for an eye, right? The previous Kaiba took my brother life,

did he not? So that does give me the right to eliminate Seto, right? He deserves it . . . but

then again, what will that make me taking Seto away from his brother. It's a never ending

cycle it seems. The suffering people endure or revenge, . . . the suffering they feel from

losses, . . . the world is crazy, no, people are crazy.

I joined Doma for reasons, I was tortured, even haunted by my brother's

death. It killed me inside, I lost my innocence the day he died. I've been a prisoner of

grief and depression, and I've never felt weaker.Dartz says he will remake the world into

a paradise, if I'm correct, won't war, sin, and destruction once reign again? Pardon me,

but isn't it human nature to be selfish? Evil? I don't like Dartz, I know he lies, he can't be

serious about that. Never will true paradise exist, good can't exist without evil, am I not

correct in saying so? Paradise can never exist, . . . ever. It's nice to believe it does, but in

all reality, never can it be possible. I hate myself for feeling so negative all the time, that

small flicker of light in my heart is barely lit, my brother's memory keep's it alive, after all

I am fighting for him.I often wonder what life would be like right now if my brother was

alive, I'd imagine we would have been taken in by a wonderful family, and had wonderful

lives. But, it's funny how fate and destiny work, isn't it? Leaving me in the rubble of my

destroyed town alone. I'd never felt so dead inside when my brother's soul was ripped

out of his body. . . and I never felt more alone. I often wish I could have stopped time

that day, and stopped myself from letting him get into that tank. It was my fault, I was

supposed to look after him, and I failed. . .

As I look back on my life I know that anyone else would be a psychopath

by now, but I'm stronger then that. I learned to be strong through experiencing war for

years. War changes everything, it makes you stronger, makes you tougher then steel.

But, war can ruin you as well, that I have learned well. I've been changed for the worse,

and maybe even for the better. I have become strong, yet still am able to cry, I have

become a concrete rose, strong as a rock, yet still fragile.