Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, this is a work of fiction, based on the game and is not meant to raise money or take away from the copyright holders of the game, only to express my fanatical devotion to that wonderful game that has taken up so... very much of my time.
Story following the events of Star Wars: KOTOR, an alternate universe where Bastila and a Male Revan meet as children amongst the Jedi and after his fall, she attempts to redeem him. With success, Revan travels with Bastila during the events of the game to make amends for his hand in the Sith.
Chapter 1 is set roughly 17 years before the game.
Chapter 1: Departures
Bastila Shan watched as the small blue and white world of Talravin grew smaller and smaller, she wept quietly in the shuttle taking her to train at the Jedi academy on Dantooine.
"I don't want to use the Force, why can't I stay with daddy?"
The five year old thought as the world vanished against the blackness of space.
"Please, calm yourself Bastila, you are gifted in the Force, we are taking you to train to be a Jedi. You will be a servant of the light and you can fight injustice, you will be a guardian of peace and justice, now what do you say to that?"
The tiny girl glared with tear filled eyes at the middle-aged Jedi Master.
"I don't want to be a Jedi I want to go home, why are you taking me away from daddy?"
She screamed at the man, brushing her hands against her eyes. The red-clad Jedi sighed as he knelt next to the little girl and placed an arm on her tiny shoulder to reassure her, as he expected she pulled away and her face tightened into a deeper scowl.
"Bastila, your father wanted you to be a Jedi. Do you remember his words to you, how proud he was that you will one day Master the Force?"
The girl's blue eyes widened as she stared at the human Jedi.
"But Master Vrook mommy wanted me to go, not daddy, she argued with him until he agreed... I want my daddy... I want to go home."
The older Jedi replaced his reassuring hand on her shoulder and sighed heavily as he concentrated on the Code to calm himself.
"Your father spoke to me of how proud he was of you Bastila and how much he loved you, he understands that a Jedi must make sacrifices, do you want to make your father proud?"
Vrook felt a sigh of relief escape him when the girl's eyes flashed and she nodded.
"Yes Master Vrook, but why can't daddy come?"
Vrook slowly sat on the floor and crossed his legs.
"This is going to be a long conversation."
He groaned inwardly.
"Bastila, a Jedi must train most of their life to gain control and serenity; with control comes serenity and that is what makes Jedi who they are, their ability to accomplish what others cannot while still remaining true to their ideals, do you want to learn this?"
Vrook watched as the girl's face wrinkled in thought and smiled inwardly, after several minutes of silence the girl smiled and nodded.
"Yes Master Vrook, I want my father to be proud!"
"Perhaps this won't be as long as I feared..."
Vrook thought to himself with a smile reaching his lips, he turned to his fellow Master and the young Padawan seated at the controls of the ship. Perhaps he can help, he's always made impressions on others his age.
"Padawan Revan, I have someone I would like you to meet."
Bastila's first thought was how odd the boy looked, he was nearly twice her age and he walked with a certainty that was unsettling. His expression was neutral and his brown eyes and light, but tanned skin was toned, even for a boy of 10.
"Padawan Revan I would like you to meet apprentice Bastila Shan, Bastila this is Padawan Revan."
The small girl blushed and giggled as the boy's eyes filled with warmth locked with hers and he smiled a warm smile, he bowed deeply and spoke in a serious, yet still child-like voice.
"It is an honor to meet the newest member of the Order, I would like to personally welcome you to the Jedi Order apprentice Shan."
Bastila's face wrinkled at the long introduction the boy used and his calm, yet comforting demeanor. He's nice, was the first thought she had as she feebly wiped her red and swollen eyes and returned a hasty bow. Master Vrook smiled, seeing his exit.
"If you wouldn't mind Padawan Revan I would appreciate it if you would converse with Bastila while I speak with your Master Zhar."
The young boy bowed and spoke in a cultured tone.
"Of course Master."
Bastila's eyes followed the Jedi Master as he stood and walked towards the controls of the shuttle and spoke quietly with the Twilek pilot, she noticed the young boy had knelt before, eyeing her.
"What was it like having parents?"
He asked in a soft and quiet tone, Bastila stared at him in shock, her 5 year old mind could not comprehend much of what was happening and she couldn't understand his question.
"What do you mean?"
She watched as the young boy slumped and stared intently at the bulkhead, steadily losing interest and wondering what the small metallic cylinder attached to his belt was for.
"I was found to be strong in the Force at a very young age and I never met my family, I was told I was born into the Order by a Knight, but I never met anyone who claimed to be my parents, I am just wondering if it was good or bad."
He turned his intent gaze on her's, Bastila struggled for a moment and a small smile came over her face.
"I love my daddy! He's an archeologist!"
She stared into space smiling as she remembered her father, all the gifts he had given her, how he would carry her to bed and would give her all the warmth and security she could ever want.
"I felt safe with him."
Revan listened with interest to the child's testimony and was taken back when a scowl clouded her once happy features.
"But mommy was mean, always arguing with daddy and always yelling at me and now she sends me away to the Jedi, I want to go home..."
Revan watched in confusion as the girl began to cry, he instinctively placed a hand on her small arm and reached into his tunic, he removed a small piece of candy and handed it to her.
"I never knew it could be so difficult but the Jedi have given me all I know..."
He smiled as the confused girl snatched the candy and readily devoured it.
"I don't know how difficult it has been or will be for you, but I do know this..."
Bastila turned her eyes to his and chewed the candy he had given her.
"Your father will be proud of you for joining the Order, it is a difficult path, but you will learn so much, accomplish so much good..."
From what little she could pick up through her frantic mind she liked, she wanted to believe him and could feel a warmth and compassion flowing from him that felt secure, that made her think instantly of her father.
"Revan how long will it take, will I see daddy again?"
Revan's far away look confused her for a moment and she rubbed her hands together as she stared at the floor, then shifted to look at a blinking light in the rear of the shuttle. She was pulled away from the light by his shaky voice.
"I- I don't know Bastila, if you work hard, you may one day be reunited with him and can show him how you've changed and show him how proud he can be of you, his daughter."
The young boy sighed and stood quietly as he saw the blank look on the little girl's face.
"As I said Bastila, I am Padawan Revan and if you need anything I will always be available, but I must meditate at the moment."
Bastila could feel she'd done or said something to upset him and looked at him with sadness.
"Are you ok Padawan Revan?"
Her meek voice called out, she watched him shift and sit cross-legged as he sighed heavily and closed his eyes.
"I was just thinking about who my parents were."
He said flatly, the girl watched as he sat motionless for 5 minutes and walked over to him, poking him in his chest.
"Ow, what'd you do that for?"
He asked in shocked-annoyance.
"What are you doing?"
She asked in interest, Revan motioned for her to back away a few steps.
"I am meditating, would you like to learn how?"
Revan smiled as he watched her blue eyes light up and her head nod frantically.
"Have a seat in front of me like I am... okay good, not close your eyes and take a deep breath, hold it for a few moments then release it slowly."
Master Zhar watched with amusement as he motioned for Vrook to watch.
"It appears my Padawan has taken an apprentice!"
He joked as Vrook snorted and shook his head.
"Quite a prodigy, but a kind-hearted boy I believe he will help the young girl cope, he always has been able to mediate just about anything we throw at him, amazing for one so young."
The Twilek Master nodded and watched the scene thoughtfully was the girl turned a shade of purple and his Padawan frantically tapped her shoulder.
"No! I said for a few moments! Bastila let it out!"
Revan sighed as the girl released the breath and her skin turned red, then back to its previous pale state.
"I thought you said hold my breath for a few months, that hurt."
She said rubbing her head, Revan looked at her with concern.
"No Bastila, please again this time count to 3 and release alright?"
He sighed in relief as she nodded understanding and again closed her eyes and took in the breath, then released it.
"Alright now I want to you imagine you are a color, what color do you want to be?"
The girl's eyes twitched in thought before she spoke.
"I want to be yellow!"
"Alright that is good, a nice color, fiery yet mellow. I want you to feel the color and imagine yourself as that color, can you see it? Okay good now I want you to slowly concentrate on around you, what color do you see?"
Revan suppressed a snicker as her face twisted in confusion, then he was shocked to see it form into understanding.
"I see gray, a gray cloud surrounded by black, there is yellow within the gray and blue and.. red."
He asked quietly as her face scrunched in concentration.
"Yea, I think its you, I can feel something coming from it... it feels sad..."
She opened her eyes and looked at the confused expression on her teacher's face, she smiled at him and closed her eyes again.
"I can fix it thought! I can make it pretty, not that horrible red!"
Revan's face twisted in confusion and horror as he felt the tiny girl invade his mind, he could feel the sorrow that he was suppressing lessen and slowly form confidence and certainty and stared with shocked amazement at the girl, half his age tearing through his barriers, he watched as she frowned and opened her eyes.
"I couldn't make it blue, just purple... but its still pretty!"
"Y- Yes... Red is a color associated with pain, purple would be a neutral color, possible displaying reconciliation or acceptance..."
Revan forced a smile as he could feel the power radiating off the girl.
"You will be a great Jedi someday..."
I fear, I hope... He added silently. The uncertainty, the pain is... it's gone, what is this she is doing to me? Judging my his serious look, Bastila felt she did something wrong and shyly looked to the floor, blushing.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to change your favorite color."
"No Bastila that is fine, but this must remain between us alright?"
Revan released a sigh of relief when he watched her nod. I don't know what that was, but it sent a chill down my spine a Rancor wouldn't. The boy stood as he felt the shuttle shake slightly as it jumped out of hyperspace.
"Come Bastila, we are nearing Dantooine, it will be where you will train to be a Jedi."
Revan watched the hesitance in the girl as she slowly stood and backed away slightly.
"Do not worry, Dantooine is a lovely planet and I am sure you will enjoy it as much as I do."
"O- Okay Revan, I trust you."
She said as she raised her hand to him, Revan thoughtfully grabbed the hand and walked her to the front of the shuttle to gain a better view of the approaching world.
It stared as rumors from travelers and cargo pilots that had come from the outer rim, it would have been ridiculous if the rumors hadn't been true. People would speak about them in hushed whispers as if the sound carried it would bring the murderous raiders upon then. The Mandalorians, a warrior race of powerful and ruthless fighters, amongst the most fearsome in the galaxy were slowly making their presence known, attacking deep outer rim worlds in the hopes of goading the Republic into an all out war. The Mandalores loved battle and fought for the glory of battle, they reveled in the struggle against impossible odds and would fight to the last man for honor. The fearsome brutes were overly built super-commandoes who's life, who's only meaning was to fight, along with their terrifying powerful Basilisk war droids they would swoop down on world after world, turning the world to ash and taking what they wanted. On the planet Cathar, deep beyond the outer rim such an attack was happening. Mandalorian heavy cruisers bombed the planetary defenses as fighters and Basilisks swooped into the atmosphere burning away any resistance, any life. The Cathars had been known for their ferocious fighting and their honor in battle, it was this that attracted the Mandalorians, the challenge of a worthy foe to gain the glory and honor from a worthy battle. The Mandalores had been thoroughly disappointed. The Cathars failed to launch any significant defense, the Mandalorian air power overwhelmed them and burned the once peaceful world into an empty grave. Only a handful of Cathar escaped, mostly fragmented families able to reach ships and leave in the confused chaos of the Mandalorian ground assault. A Cathar man warily crept through the darkened underbrush and cautiously pulled a blaster as he gazed at the ship in the clearing, his yellow eyes scanned the area and with cat-like reflexes he leaped and bolted into a sprint towards the vessel, firing and weaving a crooked pattern as 2 Mandalorian guards fell. Once within view he crept carefully into the vessel and started the engines, reaching for a communicator, he glanced around one more time before speaking.
"Come, I have a ship."
He spoke in his native language, he cautiously made his way to the ramp and kept watch for any more armor-clad Mandalorians. A small shadow approached from the trees and he readied himself, sniffing the air he purred in relief and waved his hand, the woman Cathar quickly ran to him and cradled her 2 year old child as they boarded the ship.
"Did no one else make it?"
She said sadly as she turned to her husband who shook his head sadly.
"Where will we go, what will we do?"
The man hissed slightly in annoyance as the sensors picked up an incoming patrol. He quickly activated the repulsors and lifted the ship from the war-torn planet. Turning to his wife he gave her a helpless look. I have to do something, it is my responsibility to my family, I have to save them!
"We will go to the Republic, to Taris. We can get jobs there and work out way out of this, we need to give our child a future."
He said sickened that he may be forced to have his wife work to make ends meet, she smiled weakly at him, purring affectionately.
"As long as our child is safe and free it doesn't matter."
The man returned a weak smile and jumped to hyperspace as he watched his home world burn behind him. A seasoned Mandalorian warrior, Canderous of Ordo Clan watched from his cruiser as the vessel vanished from his radar.
"Pity their hearts weren't in this fight."
He spoke quietly as he looked at the burning world and the power he wielded intoxicated his sensed, he raised his arm and shouted through the channels of his crew, "Victory!"
Cheers followed his shout and chanted along with his as they prepared for the next assault.
The shouts grew faint as the Mandalorian fleet left the burning world and jumped to their next challenger.
As far as training went, she did not like it. Bastila was disgusted with the idea of learning a code that made no sense and basing her life on it, the little girl looked around in confused anger as she sneered at the Jedi Master before her. In a mocking high pitched voice she recited the Jedi Code.
"There is no emotion there is peace, there is no ignorance there is knowledge, there is no passion there is serenity, there is no chaos there is harmony, there is no death there is the Force."
The Jedi Master shook his head and asked her to repeat the Code. She is still young, be patient, there is no emotion... there is peace... Master Dorak thought to himself as he sat down and a flustered expression came over him as he watched what he referred to as the spoiled Jedi Princess as she scowled at him and spoke arrogantly.
"Where did this child learn such behavior at such an age, do you even remember when you were 5 Master Vandar?"
The tiny Jedi Master snorted in amusement and turned to his companion.
"Many hundreds of years has it been since I was 5, Remember I do not."
I should have known that! Master Dorak snorted to himself as he watched the confused little girl strangle out the rest of the Code.
"At least she learned the words quickly..."
He said softly.
"Bastila do you know the meaning of the Code?"
The child sneered at him and spoke bitterly.
"Yea it means I can't feel anything."
Dorak sighed and could hear Vandar sighing as well as they said in unison.
"This is going to be a long day."
Bastila glared at the Jedi. Why do I have to be here? Where is my father. For that matter why am I put with these old men, I would prefer to be with that nice boy who was on the shuttle. The little girl smiled at the boy's kind words and promised herself she would never forget him for that. Revan silently followed his Master in quiet contemplation, thinking about the young girl he had met that morning. She was so much younger than him but he could feel the intelligence in her, even if she couldn't distinguish months from moments! He stared up at the sky and sighed as he thought of the power she demonstrated, she is strong, very strong in the Force and a quick learner... The boy snorted with amusement as to how nervous he was at having a 5 year old, untrained girl enter his mind but he was glad she did, it removed a doubt he felt and he decided he would dedicate some time to look more carefully into that strange power she wielded almost like a toy. Master Zhar turned a questioning look at his Padawan.
"Be mindful of your thoughts young one, your thoughts stray from the present."
"Of course Master, may I ask you a question?"
Zhar nodded as Revan continued.
"Master, I have been wondering if there is a power Jedi can use that allows them to control the emotions of another, perhaps grant them confidence?"
Zhar sighed and shook his head.
"I am sorry Padawan but I cannot answer your question, perhaps Master Dorak or Master Vandar could answer your questions better than I."
Revan frowned and bowed.
Zhar stroked his chin in thought and wondered what scheme is my Padawan up to this time... He was pulled from his thoughts by the yelling of a slightly older Padawan, he turned to see Revan's friend Malak waving. Strange how Malak is nearly 6 years older than Revan and still remains his friend. Zhar shook his head and sighed The Force works in mysterious ways.
"Revan I will give you a few moments to speak with your friend, I will speak with the Council, please wait for my in the training room when you are finished."
"Of course Master."
Revan said with a bow as he quickly rushed to his approaching friend who was excitedly telling a tale to him. Zhar smiled inwardly and shook his head.
"Those two are really going to cause a commotion one of these days."
He never thought those words would haunt him as much as they did.