(Mario) [Luigi] *(Peach)* Me
*Are we all clear on that? I'm sure you'll get it. They are only used when they are a paragraph of their own. And another thing. This is not a fanfic that refers to sex and homosexuals. If anything in the context seems to hint that, you're wrong, my friends. Very wrong!! Hope you enjoy it anyway.*
"Hey Mario!" called Luigi. "I bet I can skip this rock farther than yours!"
The Mario Brothers were invited to a weekend at Princess Peach's summer beach house, and were thoroughly enjoying their time off. Why Peach has a summer beach house that is a secret from Koopa, I'll never know.
"How much you wanna bet?" Mario asked him.
"How much you got?" responded Luigi, narrowing his eyes.
"20 Mushroom coins."
"Dang! Where'd you get all that?"
"What's it to you?" Mario answered playfully. "Throw your rock."
Luigi threw his; it skipped 5 times. "Hah!" he gloated.
Mario threw his; it skipped 6 times. "Hah!" he retorted. "Now give me my money."
"Ummm…." Luigi looked around, stalling for time. "Can I pay you in installments?"
"No. Money. Now!" Mario jumped at him, and Luigi jumped aside, grabbing a fishing net and defending himself with it. He managed to hit Mario, once in the shin and once in the head, but his older brother simply yanked the pole out of his hands. He cornered him at the end of the dock. "Give me my money," Mario smiled. "Or someone's getting a baptism!"
"No! No, wait, Mar-—aahh!!" Mario had pushed him a bit, and Luigi lost his footing. He expected the cold lake water to cover him, but Mario held him by his overalls, leaving Luigi leaning precariously over the edge. "Mario, please, listen to me…" Luigi's back was to the water, and he glanced at it nervously.
"You gonna pay me or what?" Mario loosed his grip on Luigi's overalls.
"You know how brothers tell each other things, right?"
"Last chance…." Mario let him fall back further.
"Aahh! Mario, I can't swim!!" Luigi yelled desperately.
Mario gaped and almost let him go accidentally. He yanked his brother up and stared at him intently. "You can't swim?! What kind of a brother are you?"
Luigi, who had been kissing the dock for joy of returning from 'death', looked up guiltily.
"A plumber who can't swim, what a disgrace…." Mario mumbled.
"Well, now that you know, I suggest you stay out of my way around the lak—whoa!" Mario pushed Luigi in the water. He rose to the surface, floundering and sputtering. "Wha—wha…" he gasped.
"Relax, bro. It's 3 feet deep." Mario laughed. Luigi stood up; the water only came to his waist. "Ha, ha-ha, oh yeah, real funny….. now get me a towel!!" Mario kept laughing as he helped his disgruntled brother out of the water…only to be pulled in himself. Mario splashed to get up, and grabbed his water soaked hat. He looked at Luigi spitefully, then at his hat. "Don't mess with my hat, man." The plumbers removed themselves from the water and went to dry off before dinner.
"Hamburgers…..cool." Luigi stated as they came down the stairs. Everyone was talkative during the meal, mainly because everyone was happy. No Bowser to worry about, no kingdom to rule and protect. Everything seemed just peachy….
Oh, yes, sorry. Do excuse the pun.
Anyway….. they finished their meal and sat down on the wooden dock over looking the lake.
"Watching the sunset….its so beautiful," aid Peach dreamily. The plumbers agreed.
"I'm spent," groaned Mario. "I'm off to bed. Anyone else?"
"It's 7 at night!" exclaimed Peach.
"Your loss," said Mario as he got up and started for the house.
"Wait! I'm coming too," said Luigi as he got up and followed his brother.
Peach sat on the dock for quite some time after that, reflecting. Eventually, she too stood up and headed for bed.
The next day, Mario, Peach and Luigi decided to go out on the boat and explore a river that branched from the lake. Luigi was hesitant to get in, but Mario assured him privately that he wasn't in for a dunking.
They were some ways off, lazily rowing along one stream, when something big and green rose from the depths in front of them. A pipe came out from the water, then lowered down again, just enough to suck all the water into it. Peach was the first to notice it, and with mouth agape, began to furiously row in the opposite direction.
"What are you doing?" asked Mario. Then he noticed a whirl pool ahead of them. "Uh-oh." All three of them were rowing for their lives. But the current was too strong, and despite their efforts, the Princess, the plumbers and the pirogue (boat) were sucked into the pipe. As their screams died off in the distance, the pipe closed up and disappeared as if nothing had happened.
Luigi woke up on wet, hard ground. He picked himself up carefully and took in his surroundings. Not much of a view, it was pitch black save for the one spot of light that shone on them. Luigi woke the others up, who were just as confused as he was. "Where are we?" Come on, people. Let's just guess that this is Bowser's doing. Must we remain in the dark about obvious things? He hee..
[Would you please shut up? We're only trying to make this more interesting!]
*(Yeah…and cut out the corny jokes! Sheesh…)*
Alright, fine. I can take a hint……. he hee, so funny...)
(Can we please get back to the story??)
The three rose from the damp ground, and looked around curiously. "What is this place?" demanded Mario to no one in particular. To his surprise a voice answered him.
"WAAAAZZZZUUUUPP!!!" A deep voice rumbled through the dark room.
"Oh come on Bowser, that is so old!" complained Peach.
"Hey, don't make me angry. I can do whatever I want with you, so I suggest you all behave."
"What is this, Koopa? Your idea of a game?" shouted Mario.
"Precisely, my good plunging man. Welcome to my Fun House!" They were blinded by bright lights coming on all at once, and when their eyes adjusted, found themselves in what seemed a maze of mirror-lined walls and rooms.
"Man, I hate the circus," grumbled Luigi.
"Some words of advice before you all set out to 'escape'," Bowser chuckled deviously. "Stay friendly, stay together, and stay alive!" He laughed in an evil manner, then all was silent.