Thanks to Catherine B for her reviews. Thank you very much! I tried to put a lot of Yuki and Kyou comedy in this chapter.

So, there is some Spanish in here, but it's a little more complicated than in the first chapter, but don't worry! There are translations in the parenthesis, so don't freak out. For those really good people out there, I mean really good-hearted, Ned Flanders good hearted, there's one swear word in here, but I did not spell it out. So, yeah, that's it!

Summary: Kyou and Yuki get in trouble at school, and Tohru meets a transfer student. Guess what language the transfer student speaks.


Uo: Hello, Touru.

Tohru: Hi, Uo.

Hana: Tohru! Someone died yesterday.


Hana: Die you mother--------


Hana: So it was your voice that's always in the theme song! I'm glad I killed you.

(end flashback)

Everyone is freaked out.

Kyou and Yuki enter.

Tohru: Did you like your chocolates?

Kyou: Well, I think I would've liked it if Yuki didn't gobble the thing up before me!

Yuki: Gobble? You're the one insisting that Shigure throws it away. It would be a waste of food.

Kyou: I wanted…Shigure to save it!

Yuki: For what? What are you waiting for? Christmas?

Tohru: If you wanted Christmas candy, I would have –

Kyou: I didn't want any candy!

Tohru shocked.

Kyou: Of course, um…from Kagura and stuff. But your chocolate was…okay.

Uo: Let's leave them to fight.

Hana: I agree.

Tohru, Hana, and Uo leaves. (Kyou and Yuki argue at their best if they are alone because Yuki is always self-conscious of his image in front of others.)

Yuki: You know, you didn't have to use your big mouth to blurt out that stuff.

Kyou: You didn't have to use your huge mouth to eat.

Yuki: You didn't have to stomp your big foot on top of my eighth grade graduation picture. It was even in a frame.

Kyou: My foot still hurts from that!

Yuki: That's why you're stupid. And give back that notebook I bought you for Christmas!


Kyou: Give me the tie I gave you for your uniform.


(starts walking to classroom)

Yuki: Ha! You giving me a Christmas present. It sucked! You know what I gave Tohru for Christmas?

Kyou: What? Oh, were you the one giving her a rubber band?

Yuki: Well, at least I didn't give Shigure toilet paper!

Kyou: Toilet paper? Everyone needs it! it's a great gift!

Yuki: A chia pet is better.

Kyou: chia pet dies!

Yuki: Well, that's what I bought touru. The plant is still alive!

Kyou: Still alive? or half dead? I gave her…a car!

Yuki: You idiot! You don't have enough money to buy lunch! You're a grade A homeless.

Kyou: Don't call me a homeless! I'm the one who gave one dollar to a homeless man.

Yuki: Kyou! For the last time, that homeless man was an actor in the play "Pygmalion". He wasn't even the main character. He was a person in the scenery.

Kyou: (mumbles to himself) that's why he looked confused.

Kyou: Well, I did give tohru a car!

Yuki: A toy car?

Kyou: A real, moving car!

Yuki: You bought her a useless, run down car while I bought her a nice box of chocolates!

Kyou: Good! Was it the same chocolate that she gave you last Valentine's Day?

Yuki: I am appalled!

Kyou: I am bewildered at your vocabulary!

Yuki: You are preposterous!

Kyou: NO! I'm frugal. You're outlandish!

Yuki: Oh ye—

Kyou: Aaaand! You're some big, zealous, idyllic crony!

Yuki: Do you even know what those mean?

Kyou: Of course I do!

Transfer student#1: Hola! Como está mis amigos? (en English: Hello. How are you my friends/ He says it in a very formal way.)

Kyou: What is he saying?

Yuki (lies): I understand perfectly.

Transfer student#1: Por favor me dices dónde soy? (Please tell me where I am.)

Kyou: What'd he say?

Yuki: He…he told you to suck your foot!

Kyou: No he didn't! I'll kill you for trying to lie to me!

Yuki runs: Better try harder, cause you're becoming as small as a pinpoint in my eyes!

Transfer student#1: Esperas! Donde estan corriendo? (Wait! Where are you running to?)

Principle: You boys! Stop running! You're going straight to my office. And since my office is on the way of your running path, go in there!

Yuki and Kyou….(Principle: you too, you transfer student. T Student: Que? (What?))…and T student go into room.

Principle: I am appalled by your behavior.

Kyou: And I am idyllic!

Principle: wha—do you know what that means?

Kyou:….no, sir.


T student: AHAHAHA!

Everyone is confused for a moment.

Principle: Anyways, you'll get detention for running in the halls.

T student: Hello, how are you?

Principle: ….I'm fine. Now, as we –

T student: Hello. How are you?

Principle: I'm fine, thank you.

T student: I'm fine, thank you.

Principle: So, as I was through the halls is dangerous because you may hurt yourselves or other people walking by. It's just a one-hour detention after school tomorrow, and I expect you to be there.

T student: Thank you.

Principle is confused.

Yuki: I am sorry for this trouble. It so happens that this strange boy (points at Kyou) keeps chasing me. He…tried to steal something. See? He stole my white tie?

Principle is interested.

Kyou: He took my notebook! I was merely running after him to get the notebook!

Principle thinks of this as Jerry Springer.

Yuki: I'm sorry, but you took my tie first.

Kyou: You kicked my crotch one time.

Yuki: I kicked it because you wouldn't give me my shoes!

T student: Los zapatos! (The shoes!)

Kyou: I took your shoes because my socks were in it. I was just holding your shoes.

Yuki: My socks are suppose to be in my shoes! You wore my socks and my shoes!

Kyou: Damn straight! I MEAN NO! I MEAN, I….

Yuki: I demand an explanation!

T student: I demand an explanation!

Kyou: they were mine!

Yuki: then why'd you say damn straight?

Kyou: Cause I wanted to say that for a long time to you!

T student: Damn straight!

Principle: Please, new student, stop copying them. If you boys were stealing and –

Kyou: Uh…no! It's just, I…I…we were just playing around that time. We're brothers, (hardens voice) right Yuki?

Yuki: ….um…oh I remember now! Of course! Principle, I'm sorry we were running through the halls. We were just playing around and sometimes we end up roughhousing. We were not stealing though! We always share everything.

Principle (not buying it): I see. Well, fine. I will not punish you for stealing, but if you boys cause any more trouble –

Kyou: Thanks! You're the best! (runs out the door) Last one to the library has to kiss the foreign exchange student!

Yuki: Hey! (to principle) haha! Brothers! (runs out)

Kyou and Yuki did not say a word about their fake alliance in the principle's office.

Kyou: Hiya Touru!

Tohru: Oh hello, Kyou! Hello, Yuki.

Teacher: Does everyone have their term papers?

Everyone: Yes.

T student: Damn straight!

Tohru: Oh! Are you the new exchange student?

T student: Oh! Eres muy bonita! Que te llamas? (Oh! You are very beautiful! What is your name?)

Tohru: Me llamo Touru! (My name is Tohru!)

T student: Tohru…Touru es un nombre de muchacho, no? (Tohru…Touru is a boy's name, right?)

Tohru: Huh? That's as far as my Spanish goes.

(shigure's house)

Kyou: I can see how we got stuck with Yuki in our group project, but this! (points at T student) No! I can't even talk to him!

Yuki: Why are you so eager to talk to him? Looking for a boyfriend!

Kyou: Why you! (attacks Yuki)

Shigure: I made brownies!

Uo: Mmm. Brownies.

Everyone leaves room except T student, Kyou, and Yuki.

Yuki: Hey, Kyou.

Kyou: What?

Yuki: Let's teach the new student some new words.

Kyou: Sure.

Yuki: Hey. I am Yuki! (slow and loud)

T student: Yuki!

Kyou: (points at shigure in another room) F----- you.

T student: Oh. Comprendo. Eres Yuki, y es F---- you. (Oh. I understand. You are Yuki, and he is F----- you.)

Yuki&Kyou: Yes! Yes!

Shigure: You guys want brownies?

T student: (points at Yuki) Yuki.

Shigure: good.

T student: (points at shigure) F----- you.

Shigure: …..Kyou.

Kyou carefully looks away.

Shigure: KYOUUUUU!

Kyou: God,…..please………!

T student: Jerry Springer! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Uo: You know, Tohru, I heard of a great Chinese restaurant called Fook Yuen.

Tohru: Fook?

Uo: Yeah, fook.

Hana: I love that Fook stuff. They cook it so great!

Yuki enters.

Tohru: I tried Fook too! It was amazing!

Hana: Fook is good.

Yuki (freaked out): What are you guys talking about?

Tohru: Hey, Yuki, can you take me to Fook?

Yuki (confused, but then…): Okay.

Tohru: Great! You have to take highway 101….

Yuki: Naming highways now?

Tohru: What are you talking about?

Uo: The Fook Yuen restaurant, Yuki! Don't you know where it is? Or are you just joking with us?

Hana: Or maybe, he thought we said….

Tohru: Yuki?

Yuki: I did not.

Tohru runs away from fright.

A few minutes later…

Tohru comes back into the kitchen.

Yuki is still there.

Tohru: Yuki…(hugs Yuki's arm)…I know that you sounded scary about the Fook stuff, but it's alright! I want to eat meals with you! Study with you! All that stuff, but…mostly of all, I want to be with you!

Yuki: Tohru, you're the one sounding scary.

Tohru: Hmm… I was having de ja vu.

Shigure: Look, you guys! We taught the transfer student new words!

T student: F----- you help me. I am transfer student.

Everyone cheers.

Tohru: Que te llamas? (What is your name?)

T student (eyes grow wide): (in monotone voice) No tengo un nombre. No tengo compleanos. Soy "Artificial Intelligence". (I have no name. I have no birthday. I am "Artificial Intelligence".)

Uo: What'd he say?

T student (eyes grow normal): Nada. Nada! Haha! (Nothing. Nothing! Haha!)

Hana: Well, whatever he said, I'm sure it was nothing.

T student (quietly): Exactomento…hehehe…. (Exactly…hehehe…) Todos gentes morirían! Muahahahaha! (Everyone will die! Muahahahaha!)

Everyone looks at him.

T student: Um….nada. (Um…nothing.)

Narrator: Everyone enjoys their brownie, but the Transfer Student does not eat. Food destroys his internal body…. So whenever the wind blows through my hair as I ride in this car, I will think of the name F----- you….F---- you. (Quote from Prince of Tides, except for the change in names.)

How was it? I had to watch the Prince of Tides movie for a class and the Simpsons used this line too. Please review.

If you liked this story, please read "Deer Hunt". Usually people who like this story like the "Deer Hunt" one. Maybe I should add more chapters to that one.

Again, please review.