This is the reposting of a fic that got removed because it had song lyrics in it. They are gone now.
Um, WOW! Thanks to renayumi04; Venusgurl5; ninjamonkey; iamhollywood; Ebony Sorceress; Unregistered-Animagus; animeobsessed3191; and theKRITIC for reviewing! I didn't think that many people would like my story.
theKRITIC: Yeah, Raven would have kicked his ass. I was thinking that I should put Raven as being OOC, but then I forgot. Thanks for your honesty and not being mean or rude about it.
animeobsessed3191: I hope I did help you get out of your writer's block!
renayumi04: It's one of my favorite songs, too!
iamhollywood: Yeah, I thought that scene was kinda rushed, too, but I only wanted it to be a one-shot, so what do you do?
I DON'T OWN TEEN TITANS OR THE SONG "HOLY WATER" (Big & Rich, baby!)
Now, that that's out of the way, let's get down to business. This is a one-shot, BBxRae songfic. (Would I do anything else?) IMPORTANT NOTES: This takes place in the future. The Titans are in their early twenties. It doesn't matter if you want to think they fight crime still or not, it doesn't apply to this story, but they do still live in the tower. Again, I am rating this PG-13 for a reason. There will be bad language and mention of rape, nothing really graphic, though. Also, Raven is more than likely going to be OOC, I'm not sure how much yet. This is told through BB's POV. Sorry if it seems weird. I'm a girl, so my guy POV might not seem great.
When did life have to get so complicated? She was doing great. She had control of her powers and was almost acting like a normal girl her age. She'd smile, laugh at my jokes, and talk to us instead of spending all her time with those creepy books.
I remember the first time I saw her smile. Not a little one, like when I used to make her feel better. Not that crazy grin that her happy personality has. A genuine smile. I couldn't help thinking, so that's what they mean when they say 'a smile that lights up the room.'
She still has control of her powers, but she's acting emotionless again. Except...it's different. It's hard to describe exactly how. Cy, Star, and Robin feel it, too.
I remember a game I used to play in my head. You know those shoulder angels in the cartoons? A person would have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The two argue and try to make the person do the right or wrong thing. I always liked the halo on the angel. I always used to imagine people had those halos around their heads. The more innocent or carefree they were, the brighter the halo. Ha, Starfire had a search light for a halo when she came to Earth.
Once Raven got control of her powers, her halo got more brilliant. She could make anybody feel good. She has a great personality hidden under that emotionless facade. You would never guess that if you met her now.
Her halo is gone.
That bastard! How could he do that to her! He could have gone and bought a prostitute or something. Instead he goes and attacks a young woman, and not just any young woman. He attacked Raven. Raven the Teen Titan. Our Raven. MY RAVEN!
The police say he came at her from behind, taped her mouth shut, and tied her hands behind her back. That's why she couldn't use her powers. She tried to fight back, but the asshole was twice her size.
I'm glad the cops found him instead of us. Cyborg, Robin and I were out for blood. Killing him would have been too nice, now he can rot in jail for the rest of his life.
Robin says that she'll talk when she's ready and we shouldn't rush her. That's crap. Raven is queen of bottling up feelings. She'll never talk if she has it her way.
She has nightmares almost every night. At first I asked her about it, but she would just deny it, so I dropped it. Sometimes I turn into a small animal or insect so I can watch over her during the night.
That's where I am now. On her wall, just watching.
"No . . . please, don't . . . go away . . . plea- NOOO!" She screams as she is ripped from her sleep. She sounds so terrified. It takes all my willpower to not morph into my human form and hug her. I can't imagine any of the thoughts that are going through her mind. I try putting myself in her shoes, but it doesn't work.
She's getting out of bed now, kneeling next to it. My curiosity is sparked. She's never done this before . . .
"I don't know if there is a god up there, or if there is one, who you are, but I need help. I want to move on with my life. Take me as far away from this mess as you can. Catholic Priests have that stuff they call 'holy water.' I want that. I want to be cleansed. I scrub my body everyday, but I can still feel his hands...I want to be immersed and have someone hold me in holy water until I'm clean . Please!" She gave a pleading look to the ceiling, tears streaming down her face.
"I'm not asking for much. Please! I just want someone to love me. He'll call me his angel."
"Everything seems so unreal. When I go into the city, the population looks like it tripled, like I'm being crowded no matter where I go. All the places I've been look so different and I'm scared to go alone. I feel like he's in the shadows, waiting for me. I just want to cry. To cry and have someone hold me. That's all I want!"
As if a heavenly being heard her pleading and crying, its starts to rain outside. Raven stared at window for a few minutes as if she had never seen the rain before. Not bothering to change or cover her pajamas, Raven ran out of the room in her nightdress. I quickly followed.
Raven quietly made her way up the steps and out onto the roof. She took cautious steps as she walks into to downpour. Tentatively, she raised her face to the sky.
I morphed to my normal form, all ready to take her inside and tell she's going to get pneumonia, when I see it.
Not a small one, the genuine-light-up-a-room smile. She's lifted her hands above her head now, twirling around and around. After a few minutes she stops mid-twirl and stares at me, like she knew I was there the entire time.
I slowly walk up to her. Time has reversed our roles. Now she has to look up to me. Obviously, my growth spurt didn't improve my confidence because I'm standing her having a millions things I want to say, but I can't get any of them out.
She takes my hand. "I know you come in my room when I'm sleeping. I ... It helps me fall asleep after the nightmares. Gar, I need . . . I need help. No matter how many times I say I'm okay, I'm not!" she said, unshed tears in her eyes.
I stare at her. The girl I've loved for years. The girl I've been too scared to tell her I love her. The girl who looks more beautiful than ever, even with her hair plastered to her face and her nightgown soaked in rain. "What can I do, Rae?"
She leans close to my ear. "Hold me in the holy water." she whispers.
So I do.
I grab her around the waist and together we twirl around and around.
We stayed on the roof for what seemed like hours. Raven didn't want to go inside until the rain stopped, but when she started shivering I decided that we weren't going to wait. After we put on dry pajamas, I took her down to the living room. I wrapped Raven in a blanket and started a fire in the fireplace.
"Thank you, Gar." she said with a small smile, as I sat down by her. "You really don't have to go through all this trouble."
"Nothing's too much for my angel," I blurt out. Immediately I realize my mistake and look away.
"So you heard that." I sneak a peek at her face. She's blushing.
"Yeah." Throwing caution to the wind, I add, "I let you cry and held you, so I thought I'd go the whole nine yards."
She blushed harder. "About tonight . . . in my room . . . and on the roof . ."
"I won't tell anyone. You'll talk when you're ready," I say, stealing Robin's line.
She gives me that million-watt smile I saw up on the roof. "Thank you."
At the exact same moment, we realize how close our faces are. We both pull back. "Maybe we should get back to bed," I say, trying to cover up the awkward silence.
"NO! I mean . . .would you stay here in the living room, with me? Just for tonight?" She asks, obviously still plagued by her nightmare.
We're laying here on the couch. Both of us are snuggled under the blanket and she has rested her head on my chest. Once she's asleep, I softly kiss the top of her head. Don't worry, my angel, I think. I'll hold you until you're healed. Maybe then I can tell you I love you. Until then, I'll hold you in the 'holy water.'
I kissed her head again and whispered, "I love you," as I drifted off to sleep. I know it's not possible, but as my mind is clouded by slumber, I swear I heard her say it back.
Well? I was trying a different approach to BBxRae than I usually use. Did it come across okay? One request, in reviews don't say anything like "Raven wouldn't do that!" I stated at the beginning of the story she was OOC. Thank you!