Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to Kouta Hirano and Studio Gonzo.

Author's Notes: Set in Anime, post episode 13. Edited by kelles and dedicated to one of the G-girls, who requested an AxS story. This is also a response of challenge: "Seras teaches something to Alucard without insulting his intelligence."

Teaching the Master

After over a week without speaking with her, her Master manifested himself from behind, clearing his throat as she was washing the dishes. She had been drinking blood earlier that day and she, unlike her Master, had manners to clean her mess.

"Seras, Seras Victoria," he greeted her with an amused tone. Seras jumped. Startled by his appearance she tightened her grip on the glass by accident shattering the vessel and piercing her hand with the shards. "So careless still, Police Girl? Your senses should be sharper than that," he chided her, reaching for his sunglasses and removing them.

Seras spun around, wincing for the condescending tone he was employing. "Master," she said, looking down, her cheeks gained colour from her clumsiness. "Where were you all this time?" she tried to change subjects and she washed her wound with the water behind her back.

"With my Master, were else do you think I was?"

Seras felt a pang of jealousy, she suspected and was glad someone had accompanied Sir Hellsing during the trial she was suffering but also she felt so lonely in her apartment. Alone without Peter Ferguson and unable to meet the survivors of the catastrophe. "How is she?"

"Master is taking things better than I expect," his tone dripped in disappointment. "She still trusts those old maggots." He paused, she felt his gaze looking down intensely. "Give me your hand, Police Girl."

"But Master!" Seras protested but her words were meaningless for her Master. He reached her right arm and pulled it forward, displaying the shards of glass stuck on the skin, dripping a small trail of blood. "I was disinfecting it," she indicated, defensibly.

"You are dead," Alucard stated, mild amused. "You won't catch any mortal failing." He prodded the shards on her pale hands. She flinched as they pierced further into her flesh, drawing more blood. "Does this hurt?"

"Yes, Master a little." Seras bit a gasp when he roughly pulled them away, disposing of the shards by tossing them accurately on the trash bin at his right.

"It shouldn't. You are my blood, Seras Victoria, this insignificant wound shouldn't mean anything," he scowled in disapproval. "I thought you had progressed in healing as well," he indicated, examining the wound, retaining her arm. "I smelled the blood in that glass. You have been feeding."

"B-barely, Master," Seras admitted, "But it's only because this is the first supply of blood that was brought to me." She had seen the thin Queen's emissary twice already, once in company with his shorter, less slim friend when they interrogated her four days ago. And that morning when, no questions were asked, he delivered her a package of blood.

"Fools, a starved vampire is a dangerous one. Humans never learn," Alucard replied with a derisive snort. Seras was about to ask him how he was feeding but was taken aback when he brought his mouth to her wound, lapping at it idly.

"M-master!" Seras exclaimed, flustered by the surprising action but did not move. It felt so nice, to have someone close, caring for her welfare.

Quiet, Police Girl and pay attention, he ordered, rolling his eyes up to stare at her own gaze. She felt him smirking against her wrist. If you cannot concentrate and heal the wounds, our tongues can close it. Just like this. Is that clear, Seras Victoria?

Seras was too engrossed with the feeling of his lips and tongue brushing her skin. She recalled the fateful night in Cheddar, how his bite had cleansed away the pain, bringing unearthly pleasure to her system. "Yesss, Masster…" she replied, hissing between her teeth. To her disappointment, she felt him pulled away as soon her wound was healed. She wiped her Master's saliva on her black pants, refraining from making a face of disgust.

"Do you have a computer, Seras?"

Seras gawked at him. What was he talking about? "What?"

"A computer," he repeated, slowly this time, licking his lips. "And Internet access."

Seras nodded, gesturing to her room. "I have a PC there; I bought one when I was accepted in the academy," she commented, nostalgic to recall the times before she knew vampires, insane regenerator priests and Hellsing existed. When her heart used to beat. She snapped from her melancholic self and turned to Alucard, deeply curious. "Why?"

"And the late Commander gave you passwords to be able to research in the MI-5 files, didn't he?" Alucard interrogated, stroking his chin, apparently he dismissed her question completely.

"Yes, Master," Seras replied, blinking quite puzzled. Why would he care for that? Unless… she mused, realizing a possible reason. "Does Sir Hellsing require something from the database?"

Alucard's grin widened, nodding in approval to her. "Very clever, Police Girl. She ordered me to research the status of Hellsing case officially in the files. She wanted a cleaner way than breaking into the headquarters."

"And you thought I could access them since Walter is in the hospital," Seras beamed for the vote of confidence.

"Of course not," Alucard laughed, shaking his head to her disillusion, "I wanted to feed on a member of the MI-5 to gain knowledge about their… site, but Miss Hellsing wasn't fond of my idea and proposed you instead. So Police Girl…" he removed his hat, and bowed holding it on his chest. "Teach me."

"T-teach you?" Seras' lip quivered, widening her eyes in absolute shock. Teaching the Master?

"I am your Master, Seras Victoria, but I haven't mastered the Internet yet," Alucard stated, his face serious. "Shall we start now?"

"Ah, yes!" Seras nodded, leading him to her room. She hoped he would ignore the unmade bed and a few books on the floor, below the nightstand. She had been in a depression after Hellsing was apparently disbanded and unwilling to tidy her chambers. She moved to the light switch when Alucard shook his head. Right, we don't need it, she told herself and moved to her desk, sitting on the sole chair and turned on the power. Her computer took her sweet time to start, scanning the disk for errors since last time she had been forced to reset the damn system.

"Does it always take so much time?" Alucard asked, positioning himself behind her chair.

"Yes when you have so little memory and trash in your disk," Seras explained, sighing. She would ask Walter to add more RAM when he got out of the hospital. "Er-right, I forgot to teach you. This is the screen and this…" she gestured to the keyboard."

"I know what that is, Police Girl. I am not so ignorant with technology. One of the reasons I came to London was to be in contact with the modern world," Alucard answered, almost offended. "Walter taught me the basics and DOS a decade ago. But I haven't got time to practice nor to update myself in these advances."

Seras was ashamed to have thought her Master as a Neanderthal. "I am sorry, I didn't know, Master. DOS is one of the operating systems of the computers; this one is Windows. And instead of typed commands," she explained, reaching for the mouse, "It works in a base to graphics, easier to employ. You simply move the arrow to the selected icon and click twice to open a program or file. The main screen is called desktop and all icons their names written under them."

"I see."

"This," Seras continued, gesturing to an icon with an arrow and a glow. "Is the…"

"One to connect to Internet. It says there, Police Girl. I already know English. Proceed."

Seras sighed and dialed up, she waited patiently until the bloody thing finally connected. Her Master was bending closer and closer over her shoulder and it made her uncomfortable. "It's luck my IP address must belong to a dead person, thus our visit to the website will be unrecorded."

"IP address?"

"Internet Protocol, it's a number to identify the users, I think," Seras explained then positioned the mouse on the blue e icon, clicking it. She was not much of an Internet wiz. "This is Internet Explorer, one of the programs where you can browse the web, Master. Just type the selected address that normally starts with a triple "w" in this blank space," she would not use specific terminology that would only get both of them confused.

Seras glanced to her right; her Master's head was so close she could taste his unusual tension. He accustomed himself into that. She had the silly notion that maybe Alucard hated the fact he could not read the hard disks memory to obtain what he wanted. "What if I don't know?"

"If you don't know the address, you go to a search engine for links, like google, yahoo, altavista," she replied, typing google url and loading the page. "See just place the keyboards you want in those spaces and search. Images, websites, groups," she stood towards her left. "I will be back in a second, Master, I need the password to allow me to break the confidential files. You can… practice in the search engine but be careful," she suggested sheepishly, she hoped he would not catch a virus or overloaded her disk with spyware.

Seras headed to the small kitchen-dinning room, over the table there were her old stuff she had not yet packed from Hellsing: the uniform, the disabled Harkonnen, several identifications and cards Ferguson had given her inside a handbag. She reached for her handbag and searched for the diskette with the passwords list. "Here," she licked her lips, pulling it out. It has no etiquette and was wholly black.

"Master!" Seras called out, trotting her way back to her quarters, "I found the-" she froze after she opened the door to the sight of the images loaded on the computer, Alucard's head covered most of it but she could distinguish a blue uniformed blonde woman with the shirt open and cuffs on her hands. She blushed deeply and looked down, typical of men, they always sought porn in the web. I thought my Master was different.

"Ah, Police Girl," she could notice the smugness in his voice. "Take a look here, did they teach you to do this with your handcuffs in the police academy?"

Seras frowned; she would not let him get to her over this. "No. Maybe the D-11 has more boring training than a pornography company, student," she smiled evilly at the title. That was right, he was her student in this. "Now, shoo, so I can work."

Alucard inclined his head and rose, showing the picture of the woman fully to her. Oh my, and I thought my miniskirts were borderline indecent. She could not take her eyes off the image of that woman and her attributes. How did he find that?

I merely typed 'Police Girl' in your search engine and obtained that as one of the first results… his voice resounded inside her head to further her shame.

She cleared her throat and added, trying to ignore her increasing desire to shrink in her place. "You need to close that window first," she indicated, "Click on the small 'x' to do it." As soon she finished to direct that the window closed alone, she stared dumbfounded and glanced at Alucard for an answer.

"There's lessons even a teacher needs to learn," he replied serenely, "Such as telekinesis."

"Oh, you learn fast," Seras uttered as the vampire laughed at her expense. She walked to the desk to turn on the power of the print machine and pushed the diskette in the floppy. Sir Hellsing would want to read the files herself, she supposed.

"After this I can educate you in the art of clicking the mouse with your mind, Police Girl," Alucard proposed, bending over her head, "Or to use those handcuffs properly." She blushed scarlet as she slid a handful of paper in the print machine sheet.

"I am not a fast learner as you are, Master," Seras stated in an agitated tone.

"I can be a patient teacher, Police Girl," Alucard answered in a mocking voice as she took her seat and tried to concentrate on the task to hack the site without being discovered.

At least he didn't discovered how to use the history, she thought, relieved. She would simply die if he ever found out.

"I did, actually, I am a fast student after all." he said aloud, lips very close to her ear before distancing himself. "Your fetish with red leather clad pale men is very peculiar, Police Girl. And green suited dominatrixes with leather whips."

This is the last time I teach my Master anything, she swore to herself as she typed the MI-5 address before cleaning her Internet history. I should suggest Sir Hellsing to give him a lesson next time, one of humility.