Note: I started writing this story during Honor's Night.
Translation: I wrote this during four miserable hours of listening to different teachers drone on and on about stupid preps, jocks, and other idiots, just so I could go up and get a speech team award at the beginning of the ceremony. I take full responsibility for the utter randomness that follows.
darthprincess64: Well, you know, Darth Maul is really just a big sweetie inside.
mauledbymaul: really? what makes u think that?
darthprincess64: well its obvious he's all abused and stuff by sidous so yah I bet he's actually really nice.
mauledbymaul: dude, first, his master's name is Sidious. Get it freakin right. Second, he's like a trained assassin, he wouldn't have a totally nice side!
darthprincess64: yah whatever.
- - - - - - - - -
The Sith Infiltrator cruised through space, swift, sleek, mysterious. Invisible, of course, because Darth Maul usually traveled with his ship's cloak up. Not that it really matter in this forsaken sector of the galaxy. Thus far, the Galactic Republic hadn't even taken notice of it.
Darth Maul silently cursed his master's plans under his breath. He still did not understand why Sidious would want him to seek out this distant planet. When he had asked, his master had only smiled and replied, "It is a test. We will see how well you survive it."
What test could lie on so remote a planet? Darth Maul glared at the controls impatiently, as though this would make them move faster. When they failed to notice his look and continued at the exact rate at which they had been working for the past forty hours, Maul growled angrily and went to a computer terminal nearby. He flicked it on carelessly and watched as different facts about the planet he was approaching rolled across the screen.
Suddenly, a small box appeared in the middle of the computer's screen. It read, "Would you like to connect with this planet's main form of communication?"
Darth Maul pondered this for a moment, and then said, "Yes."
Immediately, a window opened on the monitor. Its title read, "Welcome to Star Wars Chicks chat!" There were hundreds of sentences scrolling down the screen, led by strange names. Several of these names rapidly caught his attention and he began to read the following conversation:
mrsmaul: I think darthprincess is so right I mean how could he not be sweet inside?
sithassassin: uh u mean how could he be sweet in n e way I mean seriously think about it he KILLS peeps w/o thinking twice dude how can a guy like that b sweet?
mauledbymaul: lol sithassassin but ur so right. it just isn't possible that he'd be a nice guy.
darthprincess64: well I think you guys r wrong
maulslover: me 2 cuz hes just to grate to b evil
mauledbymaul: y r u so attracted to him if u don't like evil guys?
maulslover: hes not evil.
sithassassin: uh so is
maulslover: is not
sithassassin: is 2
maulslover: is NOT
sithassassin: IS 2!
maulslover: IS NOT! NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT! HES GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD ALL THE WAY THRU AND DON'T DENY IT!
sithassassin: evil evil EVIL ALL THE WAY THRU AND UR A SHAME TO MAUL FANDOM IF YOU THINK HE'S GOOD!
maulslover: o shut up ur so stupid ur mama's so fat…
Maul quickly decided that this conversation was not worth his time and closed the window. But he sat frowning in concern a while afterwards. Were these people really so stupid? And had they been arguing about him?
Confused and becoming increasingly angry with each passing moment, Maul decided it was time to do some biologically important killing, even if the killing was only of droids.