Ooh, I really, really, really hope somebody out there gets a kick out of this. If not, spork and flame away. This is a good fifteen minutes wasted. :-)
The POTO Parodies
In 1917, where all is gray and depressing, like the people.
The story begins in front of a dilapidated opera house. People are running all over with the worst kind of junk you can find, like that ostentatious painting of Carlotta. A really ugly car pulls up and sputters to a stop. Some nurse wearing a glider on her head opens the door and pulls out a wheelchair. In the car sits a Raoul who looks ready to fall apart by the seams. A sign says " public auction today" in English. Wait a minute. Aren't they French? Oh well.
Inside, porky pig is banging a gavel and calling to order the auction.
Fat Auctioneer: Yes, then. Let the bidding begin. First of all, we have a few human skulls for you collectors out there. They would look stunning in the dining room. Make all your guests green with envy.
Ancient Raoul: shaking like a hairless dog in an ice storm.
Fat auctioneer: Let the bidding commence at, say, five sous. Anyone?
Michael Jackson in back: Ooh, me! I want those beauties! Say, do you have any shinbones?
Fat auctioneer: Guards, please get kind sir, erm, madame out of my sight. He's scaring the old people.
Guards drag Jackson away
Jackson: say giggles don't put your hand there!
Fat auctioneer: Good riddance. Now, lot 665, a creepy monkey doll. It was supposedly found in the cellars of the opera, but I think those cheapskates just got it off Ebay. Say, fifteen francs?
Ancient Meg: raises a shaking hand
Fat Auctioneer: Thank you.
Raoul's nun raises her hand
Fat Auctioneer: Yes, thirty francs? Madame Giry.
Ancient Meg does a double take as she sees Raoul, then pulls out a cigar and jams it in her mouth, shaking her head.
Fat Auctioneer: Alright, then, sold! To the Methuselah guy next to the hang glider lady. Here's your prize.
Raoul takes monkey and shudders
Raoul: Geez, no wonder Christine died so young. A look at this thing alone would take ten years off anybody's life.
Fat Auctioneer: Now, lot 666, a broken chandelier. I personally think it's a piece of crap, but hey, you are all old and burn money for warmth. Let's light it up, just for the hell of it.
The chandelier lights up and everything begins to change. All the gray is gone and replaced by garish color. All the cobwebs evaporate along with everybody's wrinkles.
Raoul: looks at now hot face in mirror and flips his hair Sweeeeeeeeeeet. I'm a boy band wannabe again!
If you liked it, please review and I will write more! If you hated it, don't review and go find something more constructive to do with your life! Thank you for your time :-).