She Can't Die
All Obi-Wan could think was, She can't die. She can't die.
As he looked down at her body, watching her, so damaged and exposed to everything, all he could think was, She can't die.
"Obi-Wan?" Thank the Force, she was awake! "Is Anakin all right?"
He couldn't answer. He choked on his own words and tears started to form in the corners of his eyes, but he didn't let her see. All he could do was reach up to stroke her cheek as she slipped back into a world of fevered unconsciousness that he knew he couldn't help her out of.
Immediately, he had Threepio begin to pilot the ship. He didn't even try to meditate this time, instead letting his thoughts dwell where he knew they shouldn't, on the fact that he had just fought his former Padawan, probably killed him…
No. He couldn't think about that right now, or he would fall into a spiral, burn out before he could help her. He thought of her instead, of all that he had to preserve. Had he given her enough to hold on to, given her enough hope? Had he been too harsh with his words, saying there was no comfort?
He had been right in telling her what he had. She was a strong woman, stronger than he probably knew, and he had done all he could to help her. The rest was up to her.
Guilt. Guilt could be debilitating. Right now, his own guilt about failing Anakin was devastating him. Would her guilt about his kiss devastate her? He was sure that she had loved Anakin with her entire heart. How could he take advantage of her like that, in a situation where emotions were raw, the dark side was tangible and calling? How could he have done that?
And what if she hadn't loved Anakin with all her heart? What would the guilt be doing to her then?
He had to be the stupidest man in the history of the galaxy, to bring about the fall of the Jedi and the rise of the Sith, to fail so overwhelmingly, and then to make it all the worse by acting like a fool, a common idiot who couldn't control his passion or lust. He wouldn't be surprised if the Force abandoned him – that was what he deserved.
They were at Polis Massa. Threepio set the ship down, and Obi-Wan gathered her in his arms. She felt heavy, much too heavy, weighed down. He hurried down the ramp. Bail took one look at her, the worry in his eyes evident.
"We'll take her to the medical center, quickly." The few men standing around hurried to get Padmé onto a large rolling table to take her away. Yoda, Bail, and Obi-Wan followed behind. Obi-Wan could feel Yoda's slight pressure on his mind, wanting to know what had happened, but he couldn't face the Jedi Master now. He had to know what was going to happen to Padmé!
They finally reached the birthing room. There were no blaring sirens or wildly flashing lights to indicate that something was wrong. She's going to be all right. Oh, Force, she's going to be all right!
A medical droid exited the room to talk to the three men watching nervously through the glass.
"Medically, she is completely healthy." Obi-Wan felt a definite burden lifted off his shoulders, a worry receding. "For reasons we can't explain, we are losing her."
The words hit him, deep in his stomach. "She's dying?"
"We don't know why. She has lost the will to live." Oh, dammit, Padmé, don't do this… "We need to operate quickly if we are to save the babies."
"Babies?" Bail asked.
"She's carrying twins."
"Save them we must. They are our last hope."
The droid scurried back into the operating room. The full weight of everything was settling onto Obi-Wan. How…how could this all happen? Where did everything suddenly fall apart? She was dying...despite everything...there were twins…
"Master Yoda, I need to be in there with her."
The diminutive Jedi contemplated quietly. "Hmmn. Yes, well this would serve her. But, Obi-Wan, careful be. Become trapped in this, you should not. As a friend, I tell you this." He reached up to touch Obi-Wan's hand, eyes serious.
"I…I must do it."
He entered the room and the droids began to give her all kinds of injections and coverings, putting a large blocking shield around her legs. A birthing droid glided in. A few seconds later, her eyes shot open, a cry of pain being torn from her lips as the new droid began to coo softly in languages he didn't know.
"O..Obi-Wan," she panted through short breaths.
"Shh, shh, it's alright. You'll be okay."
She cried out again. "Obi-Wan! It hurts!"
He began to stroke her hair, taking her hands in his. "Think of something else. Don't think about the pain."
She screamed some more wordless expressions of the searing pain he couldn't imagine she must be feeling. Her hands were gripping his so hard that he couldn't feel the tips of his fingers and her knuckles were going white, but he didn't stop her. The droid came around to the side of her head.
"Push, push. Jalah nigar oohk tini." She nodded. He was proud of how brave she was being. She began to strain, her face contorting. It took a while, but the birthing droid seemed to be getting ready for the first baby.
"Don't give up, Padmé." Don't give up, please, I beg you. Stay here, don't give up. Stay with me. He made sure to stroke her face, brush back her hair, do anything to give her a sliver of hope that there was something worth living for, that not all was the pain she felt right now.
"It's a boy." Obi-Wan took the baby from the droid and held it towards her, smiling with a calm he did not feel. True, this was an amazing gift, a life being formed, but he could not smile honestly while she struggled the way she did right now.
" Luke!" she gasped out, reaching to try to touch her son. Obi-Wan squeezed her hand as she cried out in anguish, the next baby coming quicker than the last.
"…and a girl."
"Leia," she breathed. He touched her face again, thinking of something he could try. Concentrating with all his might and calling on Yoda for assistance, he tried to project the image of smiling, happy babies, young children playing, and a man and a woman, vital and strong in Padmé's mind. He was showing her her children. He leant down.
"You have twins, Padmé. They need you…hang on." Stay with us. Don't give up. Don't leave us here….
"I can't…" She reached up to take his hand, and he could barely keep himself composed on the outside. Years of Jedi training wouldn't let him show his emotion, though.
"Save your energy," he told her, squeezing her hand as if doing so might keep her there with him.
"Obi-Wan…" His heart cracked as she said his name. "There…is good in him." Don't leave us, don't leave us. You can't do this, Padmé. Don't leave us. Forget him. Don't leave us. "I know there is…still…" She took one final gasp of air, and her presence left.
He stood there, holding her hand, even when he knew it was useless. The birthing droid took Luke from him, left the room. He felt Yoda's presence leave the observation room and knew that Bail had gone also, but he didn't leave her, not yet. He continued to brush her hair away from her face, wipe her tears of pain from her cheeks. For a while, he felt cold and dead himself. Then he saw what she had been holding in her hand – that necklace that Anakin had given her. The Japor snippet.
He couldn't hold himself together anymore. He broke down, weeping tears of grief, washing her face his with his sorrow so that now, his tears where were hers had been. He held her hands to his cheek and then stroked the sides of herface once more. He couldn't believe she was gone. The queen, the senator, the woman who had meant so much to so many. Optimistic, passionate, daring, courageous.
She couldn't die.
But she had.
This was inspired by whoever said to do more Obi POV, and by watching the movie again. And the fact that my little stats thing says that six people have this on alert - can't disappoint those six people! I got my angst from the seriously amazing score that John Williams did for ROTS (HE NEEDS MORE OSCARS!). And, well, I saw the movie a few more times, and realized something I didn't see the first time (it was late at night!). Padmé doesn't really know that Obi-Wan's there on the way to Mustafar! Oops! (feels like a dork). Oh well. I like it better that she does know he's there, anyway. So I'm not changing the story. :P Oh, and this may be confusing, but the first chapter can actually go two ways - either as part of my AU, or into this chapter. Yes, it's strange, and I'm sorry. :(
Anyway, review time! Because this is what I like to do :)
theangelofhatred - Aww, thankies. :) I don't know if you'll be calling it a 'sweet story' anymore, though!
HanSolosGal - Thank you! (huggles HSG) But see, the thing about Threepio is that only the good couples get interrupted by him! Heh heh (gets tomatoes thrown at her by Ani-Ami 'shippers)
sabor ice - Thank you!
leah - Yeah, I guess I got a bit carried away with myself. :) And sorry if I confused you, but I just meant that this was my first prequel fic, not my first Star Wars fic. I've been writing H/L for a while. Thank you for your review, it was very thoughtful and useful.
Emily - Sigh. He is a beautiful man, isn't he? And his cheekbones just look so lovely and high in ROTS... (goes off into Obi-worship land)
HopelessBeautifulDreamer - I added another chapter! Although now, it is most definitely over. :(
TheAmazingTechnicolorRingWraith - Dude. Love your pen name. And if you really, really want to write romance, you should just try it some time, because I bet you could, even if you didn't think you could. I use to think all my romance was garbage, it just took a few nice reviewers to change my mind. :)
Mrs.Elektra Murdock - (loved Daredevil, BTW) Thanks!
mikigm31 - Thank you!
Obi&dala Shipper - (points at chapter) I kept going!. :D Thanks for reviewing.
Gene Kelly - (cracks up) That reminded me of Paris Hilton. ;) Thanks for the review.
mrs. skywalker - Oh, I'm definitely jealous too. (pouts)
Trudy- Thank you very much! And your English wasn't bad at all!
Rein Elanor - Well, see, all I play is the piano, and I can't really rock on it...but I can play Star Wars! (grins)
heartnut - Thank you! (blushes) And now I see, you were the one who told me to do more Obi-POV! Well, this was a lot more than an epilogue. :)
Dude Wheres My Cheese - Yes, Obidala is truly the superior prequel 'ship. ;) (gets more tomatoes thrown at her by Ani-Ami 'shippers)
Erik's Siren - Yeah, I noticed, and I secretly reveled in them and squealed in my mind!
Jade Rhade - Now now, you can't have Boba and Obi-Wan! We must share. :D Thanks for your review, and, like I said before, Threepio only interrupts the couples WORTHY of his attention. ;)
Kelly Tolkien - Thanks, glad it wasn't corny. Definitely NOT what I was aiming for!
S.B. Kisses - I think this one is all bitter and no sweet. :(
Laura Kenobi - Thank you! I'm just into Obidala because I really love Obi-Wan (not just for his looks! My favorite Obi-Wan is Eppy IV Obi.) And I really, really hate Anakin...a lot... (goes off into Anakin-loathing world)
ZeonChar - Thank you!
Crystal7 - Thank you, I appreciated that. :)