DISCLAIMER – Not mine. Belong to Anthony Zuiker, et al, CBS and Alliance Atlantis.
A/N - Very short one off, I kinda had to get outta my system. Hope you all enjoy.
SILENCE OF FRIENDSHIP
I remember clearly the day I was called letting me know that you were in hospital. I found it hard to believe it to be the truth. All I could do was remember the way things were, how content we were with our lives, even though the job was tough and we rarely if ever found a chance to relax or know each other on a more personal level.
I was nervous coming into the room. Funny thing was that although I knew you were sick, I never thought to ask what it was. Turned out that cancer was the one to rob you of the remainder of your life.
You looked so frail lying against the whiteness of the hospital linen. I expected to see some significant other. Someone whom you'd shared your life with, but there was no one. You were alone in that room. A small room made larger by the fragility of your body.
You open your eyes as I draw closer, the fire that I thought may have been on the critical list or even died out was there, as strong as always. You make me smile with the strength of that look. The look I always depended on, no matter what the circumstances, no matter what the horror, it was always there. Even if sometimes it was hidden behind other emotions like anger or more often than not hopelessness. Now when I thought there would be more hopelessness than ever, I see only that fire that always turned me on.
I hold your hand, surprised by it warmth and strength despite the disease that is riddling your body. You smile at me and once again I remember our times together, damn you were so attractive. It's still there. You'd scoff if I told you, so I don't, but that inner force you had that made you so striking is still there, and I don't doubt that the only time it'll disappear is when you breathe your last.
You murmur words of comfort to me, words I should be saying to you when you see tears falling from my eyes. I so did not want you to see me this way, I guess you didn't really want me to see you this way either. Thinking this only makes me cry harder. You pull me close.
"Please don't. If you keep crying like that I'll start too. I don't have the energy. It'll be okay. I've made my peace with everything."
I nod and try to stem the tears. To keep them until I can let go of them in private. I paste a smile on my face, yet another thing you've seen many times, and know how to look through. Much the way you're doing now.
Still clasping your hand, I sit beside you. The silence, which a casual observer would take as awkward, is filled with memories of laughter of tears, of a future cut short, and of years spent together though apart. A silence of friendship.