Author's note: Please be aware that this whole story line actually takes place after the anime, in a completely different direction to the manga.The events may hint slightly to the FREAK chip infestation, for reasons of continuity, but this is my interpretation on how events unfold post Order 13 in the anime.


Enrico stifled a giggle as the Paladin entered to office, but the expression of mirth was difficult to conceal. Anderson spotted it, and his face went red.

"How's celibacy working out for you, Father?" Maxwell gloated.

"Aah, get over it, ya piss-artist!" snapped the priest. Maxwell let the offensive remark slide. He was in enough trouble as it was.

"Come now, Alexander, you have to admit it's pretty funny."

"What's so bloody funny about it?" Anderson said menacingly.

"Oh, and what are you going to do, kiss me to death?" Maxwell quipped, then burst into uncontrollable laughter. Anderson looked glibly to the floor. Suddenly Enrico stopped laughing and his face was deadly serious.

"You god-dammed lunatic! You idiot!" Enrico yelled, slamming the desk, "What the Hell were you thinking? The Vatican is sorely embarrassed by this whole affair!"

"Ah wish ah knew… ah mean…"

"Do you realise that right now, the Hellsing Organisation is laughing at us? Not to mention the British government? The Round Table? The fucking Queen of England's even in on the joke!"

Anderson couldn't speak. Too angry say sorry, though it was useless to say so anyway.

"His Holiness, the Pope himself, is furious!" Maxwell continued, "The very idea that an agent of Section XIII, a tool of God's punishment on all evil creatures - let alone a priest – could actually do such a thing with the very creature he was supposed to destroy – is a travesty, and a hideous blot on our sacred history!"

"Ah didnae know what ah was doin', Sir. I dinnae know what came over me."

"Well it scarcely matters now." Maxwell snapped.

"Ah give ye mah word, as a man o' God, that it'll never happen again."

"Too right it won't."

"Yes Sir."

"Because you're suspended, you buffoon."


"Effective immediately, your only duty as a priest, is that of carer at the orphanage."

"But…but…" Anderson spluttered.

"You should be thankful for that, Paladin. His Holiness was insistent on having you disavowed from the Church altogether."

"He did?"

"Yes. But you know what? I put in a good word for you. Several, in fact. I fought tooth and nail to keep you in."

"Thank you…"

"I don't like to have to do this. You're more than just an agent to me. You're one of my most loyal men. Give it some time, you're likely to be re assigned to Section XIII."

"Ah understand,"

"I really can't be doing with this right now, Anderson. What with the bug infestation at present, our resources are sorely stretched right now. I can't be down an agent. Especially not you."

The priest took a gulp of pride, and said humbly, "Mah apologies, Senor Maxwell."

Maxwell gave the priest a reassuring look. "Listen. Perhaps, in the time you have been given, you can come to terms with your abhorrent fixation, and return to service refreshed and anew."

"Yes, Sir."

"Dismissed, Father."

The Paladin turned and skulked dejectedly out of the office. Only to come face to face with Heinkel and Yumiko. The German was smirking toothlessly.

"What?" said Anderson, angrily.

"Vat's the matter, Anderson?" said Heinkel, "How's about a kiss, you big stud!" she opened her mouth to reveal false vampire-teeth.

"Bugger off the pair o' ye!" Anderson boomed, and stormed out, leaving Heinkel and Yumiko in fits of laughter.