Nothing could have ruined
the mood i was in. I had just become happy, for the first time in my
life. I was inlove with you again. You chose to neglect your vows.
You chose to neglect my pleas for attention. Such a dissapointment
this day was to me. Such a bitter dissapointment. I shouldnt have
bothered, i shouldnt have tried. I should have realised the
im-possibility of my dreams. I thought you were different, and so i
also changed. My mind has gone from perfectly clear to blank, all
with-in a simple common-day sentance.
In life, there are words to die for, some for much a clearer reason than others. The words that killed me were ones I so solemnly hear. Perhaps it was a mistake to bear the weight of them on my shoulders. "I love you". Quite the joke i am now beginning to think. But please, please feel free to snuggle close to my un-dying love. For the words which kill may also give life. Give life to a dying soul as my own. I often thought i had a chance, but now, as time goes on, i begin to realise the false hope in-which you supplied was my death. The death of my mind. I seem to have lost all hope. I would much rather be chased than to do the deed on my own. You drive me from sanity, yet give me a feeling of warmth, and self denial. I am not worthy of such a being.
In life there are both words to live, and to die for. Feelings which stir or shatter all senses. Blind as love I wander now. Searching for the ones to bear these words. :(