A/N: Apologies to Frank Sinatra, and whoever actually wrote that song. (What IS it with 100-word ficlets and these titles I keep picking?)

I Did it My Way
Fate and regret.


In my youth, I did not comprehend life. I was strong. I knew what I was about. I had no use for yearnings, for futures. No need for others. Only justice.

When my eyes opened, my heart flamed with desire. For life, for love—for everything. I pursued—desperately, unworthily, recklessly.

But it was not to be—not for me. It fled me at every turn. It scorned my need. In my stubbornness, I damaged everyone I touched. Everyone I loved.

Better had I not loved them; better had I never met them.

Better had I remained as I was.


Review Responses: Lolo, yes, they ARE all tragic, aren't they? What IS wrong with me? Moeru, I'm glad they seem powerful to you--I do sort of want them to be "hard-hitters". Omasu, isn't it the truth that Kenshin's inability to forgive himself really pulls at the heart? It makes you just want to reach out and give him a hug. (like THAT wouldn't get your head cut off!) Sirius, I loved loved LOVED your question about whether this was Hiko or Kenshin! I didn't think of it before, but this is something that, while not addressed much, the two men really have in common. It's obvious that Hiko is carrying a heavy past, but he NEVER talks about it!

More Responses: Skenshingumi, I like it that the line "pulls you up short"--that's exactly the effect I was going for! And as for the title: all those "betters" that you mention are, to me, exactly the weight of, the taste of memory that gives bitterness to the title. I guess I was thinking more along the lines of "bitter regret" than "shameful admission" here, so maybe that makes more sense... By the way, I'm unfamiliar with the name "Rakunimura"--if you don't mind, give me a reference or a link (I'm assuming it's a name from some piece of literature). Thanks! Terry-McElrath, I like it that both you and Sirius found Hiko's voice in this, as well—I do, too, now, and it helps color him as well as Kenshin. Again, I don't know "Rakunimura", so if you have a link, I'd appreciate it!