By: Carrie H Potter
Rating: PG-13 (T) (just to be safe…)
Summary: Draco Malfoy loves Harry Potter. REALLY loves him. But when he puts it all on the line, will Harry let him in? (slash, HP/DM, one-shot)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. The story, however, is my own, my preciousssss (LOTR rocks!).
A/N: umm, hi. please don't kill me…i know i wrote this instead of working on the third chap of Knock First, Damn-it! but i think it was worth it…i like this story, even though it's different than what i usually write…i mean, it's romance and slash…but it's not really funny…at least, i don't think it is…but anyway…i wrote this on a random whim one day…so yea…and i realize Draco may seem a little OOC…but if he were really having these thoughts, i think this is the way he'd act, so yea…it's in Draco's POV…umm…enjoy…You Had Me At Hello
You had me at hello. Well, all right, I don't think you ever actually said hello to me, but "Yes" is the same thing as "Hello" right? And okay, I was less than pleasant during that first meeting, so you had no reason to say hello to me the second time our paths crossed. Coincidentally, I believe the first thing you said to me on that fateful train ride was in fact "Yes."
But it didn't matter what you said. You could have told me that the sky was pink and little monkeys followed you everywhere, and I still would have been captivated. And nothing that came out of your mouth during the six years that followed mattered. Not the insults or the brush-offs or the disgusted glances. That never affected me. I only heard the sound of your voice. Its velvet smoothness. You've never realized this, but your voice just washes over a person, making them feel calm and content. I have to be honest, love, when I say I never really heard a word you said those first six years.
But then came that day. The day. The day my life changed and the world stopped spinning on its axis. The day I heard you.
I was my usual smirking self. As I sauntered by your table that Wednesday morning, I glanced at you and your two apostles conversing in hushed voices. Curiosity is a bad trait of mine, so I walked closer.
"Not another nightmare," the redheaded idiot was saying. You nodded grimly.
I could not help myself, "Having big bad dreams again, Pottie?" I simpered, pretending to be concerned.
You paled slightly, and an alien emotion flickered in your eyes, but you quickly got a hold of yourself, "Yes, Malfoy, I did have a nightmare. You see, I dreamed that you and I were the only two people left on Earth and suicide was out of the question."
I blinked, quite caught off guard. A witty remark from you, love? When will the lightning strike? But I hid my surprise and replied, "No worries, Potter. I'd do the honors."
You scowled darkly at me, making me internally cringe. I didn't mean that, love, really I didn't. "Just go crawl somewhere and die, Malfoy," you spat, "I'm not in the mood for you today." And you turned your back on me, resuming your conversation with the lesser members of the Golden Trio. I am not usually one to be shocked, love, but you certainly did change that that day. I slowly walked away, and as I exited the Great Hall, I felt your eyes boring into the back of my head.
It hurts me every time we fight, love. It hurt me back then. It hurts me now. Especially now. Like I said before, you had me at hello. I didn't disillusion myself into thinking that I hated you and slowly grew to love you, as people believe of that persnickety fine line. I knew how I felt about you as soon as that first syllable escaped your lips at Madame Malkin's that infamous day. Of course, I was but a child. My love for you then was simply a silent yearning to be liked by you. On the outside I fought with you; on the inside I was enamored with you.
So why did I fight with you? Could it be the clichéd afraid of my feelings? Yes, it could be. And it was. I was terrified.
But in fifth year, I got my wake-up call. Instead of yearning to be your friend, I yearned to be your boyfriend. Instead of wishing for a pat on the back, I wished for a kiss on the lips. I had finally and truthfully fallen.
Now, when I look back on that day in seventh year, I smile. But as it was happening, I could only grimace.
We had Double Potions that day. I remember it well. So well, I can picture it in my mind and watch it play out.
I was late for Potions that day. My treacherous henchmen quickly took the last available table so the only seat left was next to you. I sighed, not in the mood for your hatred. But I took the seat without complaint. You glared at me as if I had planned this in advance. Believe me, love, you shouldn't put it past me.
As Snape wrote the steps and ingredients on the board, I stared at you out of the corner of my eye. Not only did your voice captivate me, but so did your beauty. You stood at 6'2 (three inches taller than me) after a rather large growth spurt over the summer, your silky but messy raven locks fell in your eyes as you furiously scribbled down notes, your baggy black school robes withheld the view of a body well-toned from Quidditch, and your handsome, masculine face was scrunched up in concentration.
And then you looked up at me. I've never told you this, love, but your voice and beauty pale in comparison to those eyes. They are breathtaking. The brightest emeralds I've ever seen, filled with a fire that ignites ones very soul. Brilliant and glowing when you're happy; dark, stormy, and dangerous when you're mad. They are perfect and always make my heart swell.
But when you fixed them on me that day in Potions, my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. They were filled with pure and unadulterated hatred. You'll never know how much that simple look pained me.
We worked in silence on the potion, only occasionally crossing glances- me with my anguish-filled grey eyes, you with your angry emerald gems. As Snape inspected our potion, you glared at me harder, almost daring me to make some stupid comment to Snape. I kept my mouth shut- for once.
During the mad rush at the end of class, you shoved past me, but not before pushing something into my hand. I was too shocked to even see what it was until I was in my dormitory, on my bed, with my curtains drawn. Only then did I unclench my fist and watch the crumpled piece of parchment fall to the bed. I snatched it up, greedy to see words you might have written.
Meet me in the astronomy tower at midnight. Bring no one with you.
I was stunned, to say the least. You wanted to meet me? Alone? But you hated me. Didn't you? It wasn't possible you returned my feelings. Was it? Of course, it did cross my mind that it might all be a trick, a ploy to get me into trouble. But I didn't care. I was too far-gone to care.
So at midnight I set off, heading for what turned out to be the best and worst night of my life. I was almost caught three times: once by Filch, once by Peeves, and once by McGonagall. You were lucky I loved you at that point.
I finally tumbled into the top room of the astronomy tower at five after twelve. You spun around from your spot at the window and barked, "You're late," in a voice laced with hatred. Why had I come?
"Sorry," I mumbled and quickly shut the door behind me. And no sooner had I turned around than you had me up against the door, one hand digging into my side, the other painfully grasping my throat.
"What's with you lately, Malfoy?" you snarled, "First you don't make a smart-ass comment in Potions and now you're apologizing? What's happening to you?"
"I insulted you at breakfast!" I pointed out weakly.
"Yea, and even that was delivered halfheartedly."
"No," you interrupted, "don't talk. Just listen." I obediently shut my mouth and that seemed to annoy you even further, "I'm getting so sick of you, Malfoy. You always seem to be everywhere I am. I can't get you out of my head. I've tried to ignore you all these years, I really have. But I can't. I find myself watching you and thinking about you. And no matter how much you insult me and make my life miserable, I still watch you. At first it was just raw hate, but then it escalated into something else: lust. I've been lusting after you for two years, Malfoy. But that's not the worst of it. I've started to notice your slowly changing attitude and against all odds and all freaking reason, I'm starting to care about you. It's not just lust anymore. Guess what, Malfoy? I love you. I love you and I hate you for it." And you leaned in to crush your lips against mine in a bruising, violent kiss.
Then you shoved me out of the way, wrenched open the door, and fled from the room. I just stood there: shell-shocked. You loved me. You really loved me. But you hated me for it. I could have laughed at the irony of it all. But I didn't. I cried.
You avoided me for two months after that, love. I didn't get another chance to talk to you until the Christmas holidays. Father was increasingly pressuring me to receive the Dark Mark whenever I was at home, so I stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas that year, and you, well, you always stayed at school. I imagine you would have stayed summers if you could have.
I was the only one from my house staying and there were only three other second year Gryffindors staying. We were relatively alone. So when I bumped into you in what I thought to be a deserted corridor, I shouldn't have been surprised. But I was.
You glared at me and seemed to want to leave it at that because you started to hurry away. But I couldn't let you get away. Not again.
"Harry!" I shouted desperately, "please wait! Can we talk for a minute?"
You spun around and fixed me with a look, one that made me thankful looks couldn't kill, "I have nothing to say to you, Malfoy."
"But I have something to say to you," I replied stubbornly.
You looked at me warily before raking your hand through your hair, raising your eyes to the ceiling, and muttering, "I may live to regret this but…" You looked at me once more, "Fine. Let's talk."
I grabbed your arm and started to drag you in the opposite direction, "Hey!" you said in a panicked voice, "where are you taking me?"
I rolled my eyes, "To the Slytherin common room. I'm the only Slytherin here." You didn't say another word until we reached the entrance to the Slytherin dungeons. I winced slightly as I spoke the password, "Potter sucks." You snorted. Hey, it wasn't my idea, love.
We entered the common room, me still half dragging your reluctant self. I motioned to the black velvet sofa by the fire, "Please sit." You looked at me wearily for a second before you hesitantly perched directly in the middle. I quietly settled into the green leather armchair and regarded you solemnly.
You visibly gulped, "Look, Malfoy, about what I said a few months ago. I was just kidding, really, so there's no need for, erm, redemption of any kind."
You thought I was mad at you for that? You thought I was going to punish you for that? Well, love, you sure were in for a surprise. "Did you mean it?" I asked quietly, fear clutching my heart that you really had been just kidding.
"You know of what I speak."
You gulped again and your eyes darted around the room looking for an escape route. Seeing none, you sighed heavily and mumbled something that I didn't hear.
"Excuse me? Could you say that a little louder please?"
"Yes," you whispered, head hung in shame.
"Yes? Yes what? Yes, you'll say it louder or yes, you meant it? Answer me, Harry!" I was getting desperate in my need for verbal confirmation.
"What's with all this 'Harry' shit, Malfoy? You've never called me that before today!" you shouted, your legendary bravado returning in full force.
"That's your name, isn't it?" I snapped, annoyed at the change in subject, "Just answer the question, Harry."
You glared at me, clearly put-off by the quick reverse back to the subject you seemed to be avoiding. "Why should I?" you growled, "Why the hell do you want to know? So that if I don't, you're relieved, and if I do, you spread it around the school to humiliate me? Because believe me, that would be humiliating."
Ouch, love, that barb hurt. But I decided to take your unwillingness as a good thing, "I promise that neither of those assumptions are correct. In fact, I believe I would have quite the opposite reaction in each scenario. So please, Harry, just tell me," I pleaded quietly.
"But, b-but…I'm afraid," you muttered.
And at that point I realized something. You had in fact been telling the truth that day. But you thought I hated you and you thought you hated me, so you didn't understand how that hate could morph into the completely opposite emotion. And I realized something else, too. We would get nowhere unless I made the first move. Damn your Gryffindor stubbornness.
So taking my life in my hands and praying I was making the right decision, I muttered, "I feel the same way."
You blinked, "Huh?"
Oh love, though intelligent, you never were quick on the uptake. "I, well, I, umm…" Damn, I was losing my nerve. I looked straight into your emerald depths and proclaimed a little louder than necessary, "I love you, Harry James Potter."
You blinked again and stared at me blankly for a while. Just when I was going to ask if you were all right, an odd sound escaped from your throat. A laugh. A slightly maniacal laugh.
"Oh, that's just rich, Malfoy! You've finally found the way to bring down the Golden Boy! Well, guess what, Malfoy? It worked. I hate you. I HATE YOU!" And you barreled out of the room.
It was my turn to blink.
You really are a piece of work, love, let me tell you. I told you how I really felt, which was extremely difficult for me by the way, being the first time I'd ever actually said it out loud, and you laughed in my face, thinking I was saying it to hurt you. But I guess it's not really your fault, is it? I'd never given you reason to trust me over the years, or any believable evidence to back up my statement. But honestly, love, what was I going to do with you? You apparently didn't believe a word that came out of my mouth. I was going to have to use my Slytherin cunning. But I still couldn't think of any ideas. Until you yourself thought of one, of course.
A few weeks later, I walked by you, Granger and Weasel in the Charms corridor. After the customary glare, you went back to what you had been saying, "You know, Ron, no one's gotten a Howler since second year. But from what you told me, they're received quite frequently in the wizarding world…"
I hurried off to the Owlery. Oh, love, I could have kissed you.
A week later found us all in the Great Hall for breakfast. I was bouncing in my seat, praying that she'd comply and that I was indeed as good an actor as I thought myself to be.
Just then, there was the loud sound of many thousands of flapping wings, signaling the arrival of the morning post. And there was Hercules, my eagle owl, flying right at me, scarlet envelope clutched in his sharp talons.
People around me gasped and looked worried as the letter was dropped onto my plate. I paled considerably while slowly reaching out a trembling hand to unclasp the Malfoy seal…
"DRACO MALFOY!" my mother's booming voice filled the room. It went silent as all eyes turned to me, including a very important pair, "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? I MIGHT AS WELL DISOWN YOU NOW, BOY, BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WILL NEVER APPROVE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US? HOW? I DON'T CARE IF YOU LOVE HIM," gasps were heard at the word 'him', "BUT YOU CERTAINLY DO NOT HAVE OUR BLESSING! IMAGINE, A MALFOY IN LOVE WITH A POTTER!" and the envelope burst into flames.
You could have literally heard a pin drop. No one made a sound. No one even moved. No one seemed to have any reaction at all, escape the insufferable old man and his annoying, ever-present twinkle.
I squeaked and ran from the Great Hall, praying to every god I'd ever heard of that you'd follow me. I started to slow down outside the History of Magic classroom and eventually just sank to the floor, head in my hands, trying to catch my breath.
I sighed. It hadn't worked. You hadn't followed me. But then I heard soft footsteps approaching. I didn't dare look up until…
My head snapped up and our gazes locked, "What did you just call me?"
"Draco. That's your name, isn't it?" you smirked.
"Touché," I mumbled, burying my head back in my hands, waiting for the abuse to start. But it never did. Instead, you sat down next to me.
"Draco…" you began hesitantly.
"Yes?" I inquired, heart in my throat.
"What did that Howler in the Great Hall mean?"
"Well, Harry, I sent my mother a letter about how I feel about you, and well, she apparently didn't take it too well," I replied quietly.
"So, you really, umm, you really love me?" You lifted your beautiful eyes to meet mine and I saw a new emotion in them: hope.
"Yes, Harry, I do."
And whatever reaction I expected due to our past history, it wasn't what I got. You leapt into my arms and buried your face in my neck, "Oh god, Draco, I don't hate you. I love you. I love you so much!" And you crushed your lips to mine for our second kiss. Only this one was different. It was filled not with hate and pain, but bursting with love and promise. I promptly melted into a pile of goo. And that's saying something, love. Malfoys rarely turn into goo. In fact, it's quite unheard of.
But then you pulled back and looked into my eyes, "You really do, Draco?" you still sounded unsure.
"Harry, I would die for you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're an amazing person. But I don't see how you can love me. I've treated you so horribly over the
years." I hung my head.
"Yea, well, I haven't exactly welcomed you with open arms, either," you said cheekily, "I was pretty bad to you over the years as well. But I've seen how you're changing. You've become a good man, Draco. And I fell in love with that good man."
"Well, I'm not always good," I said suggestively, waggling my eyebrows. You laughed. God, I love the sound of your laugh. And I told you so, "I love when you laugh, love."
You smiled shyly at me, "I like that."
"Huh?" I was confused.
"When you called me 'love'. I liked that."
I grinned. Oh, you had no idea… "I'm glad, love."
You wiggled slightly in my lap (yes, you were still in my lap; not that I was complaining…), "So, you think this is really gonna work, Dray?"
"I like that."
"When you called me 'Dray'. I liked that. And yes, I do think this is gonna work, love. I fell in love with the brave Gryffindor who would risk his life for his friends and for his enemies. The hero who will someday defeat the psychotic nutcase otherwise known as Voldemort. But I also fell in love with 'just Harry', the boy who bites his bottom lip when he thinks, always beats me at Quidditch, and has the most brilliant green eyes I've ever seen. I love you, Harry. This will work," I finished confidently.
You wiped some tears from your eyes, "You're right. This will work. I fell in love with you, Draco, not Malfoy, but you. I love you." And you met my lips in yet another sweet kiss. And as we kissed, we never could have imagined everything that would take place later on in our lives. We never imagined the school's reaction when we came out (Weasel fainted and everything), how ballistic you got when I told you I'd written my mother requesting she send that Howler (my mother really did love me and after she met you, she loved you too), the day you finally defeated Voldemort and I defeated my father, or the day we said our marriage vows and moved in together. No, we never imagined any of that during that perfect moment: our third kiss of many to come.
You pulled back and smiled at me. Then you laughed while running your hands lightly through my hair, "And to think! We used to hate each other!"
But I never hated you, Harry. After all, you had me at hello.
A/N: whee!…what'd ya think?…do you want a sequel of some type?…please review if you like me even a little ((major puppy dog eyes))…umm…yea…so, i hope you liked it…and umm…review please!….here are some updates:
1) the third chapter of Knock First, Damn-it, The Boy Who Lives For Men, will be done soon, i promise…really!
2) i will not be posting For the Love of Harry yet because i clearly can't even handle one ongoing story well…but i will include an excerpt in the third chap of KF,D-I! just like i promised, so don't worry!
3) i'm currently writing a My Chemical Romance fic that i really like…i'll put a message and link to it in my profile when i'm done
umm, that's really it, i think…so yea…look out for chap 3 of KF,D-I!…and review this story and…umm…yea…cheers!